


The Potential of You and Me

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Series: A/B/O AU [1]
Category: Dark City (1998), Mirrors (2008)
Genre: Alpha/Beta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Beta/Omega, Discrimination, Dubious Consent, Dubious Science, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Femslash, Knotting, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Pheromones, Sex Pollen, Slash, genital ambiguity, sexual dystopia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:37:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 70,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6583501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Humanity in the mid twenty-fourth century has developed three reproductive types - paternal Alphas, sterile Betas, and maternal Omegas. To protect the pheromone driven populace, society has been forced into reproductive-type segregation, where even family members of different types are kept from each other. The chance of alpha/omega identical twins is are, but as Ben and Daniel Carson find out, not rare enough.<br/>(warning: this work does NOT contain any actual Mpreg or preg of main characters, though off-screen Mpreg /Fpreg/preg is mentioned)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Daniel Carson**

By the middle of the twenty-first century, civilization was in decline. The human race was dying. High percentages of the population were developing incurable cancer, and when a revolutionary preventive treatment and cure was discovered, the governments of the world acted quickly and decisively. 

It did eradicate cancer. It also forever changed humanity.

Within twenty years it was discovered that the mandatory treatment had made 80% of the population infertile. Those who could still have children, well… That’s where things got really interesting.

Human beings were already complicated enough. For every individual, there were gender characteristics, sex characteristics, and then the scale of sexuality. The generation born to the fertile 20% gained one more thing to worry about: reproductive identity. On top of who you liked, what gender you were, and what chromosomes you had, you had one of three reproductive types. Alpha. Beta. Omega. All of us born with both sets of sex characteristics apart from the male Alphas and the female Omegas. Those two types at least knew what they were their whole lives. The rest of us were raised agender - though most of us developed our own a gender identity early on - and had to wait until puberty to discover not only what secondary sex characteristics we were going to develop, but if we were going to go into heat once a month, mindlessly desperate for sex around any unmated Alpha, or become Alpha and lose our minds over every ovulating Omega. 

When the first generation of - they called us multi-gendered - individuals hit puberty it was chaos. The pheromones of an Omega in heat would trigger intense sexual desire in any unmated Alpha; significant exposure would trigger extreme aggression if the Omega did not submit. Fights broke out between Alphas, terrible acts of rape and violence were committed. Riots broke out. The government took control. 

At first, all they did was force Omegas into seclusion when they were in heat. They said it was necessary, to protect the still fertile, the future of the human race. Then came registration at puberty. After that, segregation began. Transportation in all urban areas was replaced by a personal lift system that would take a wary Alpha or an Omega in heat directly from the front door to their carefully segregated workplace. They developed subdermal microchips to give or deny us access anywhere we went. To monitor what we did and who we did. They tattooed us so that no one could hide their reproductive identity. 

Once Omegas and Alphas mated, pregnancy was guaranteed. Our hormones had changed enough that the pill, the shot, IUD’s – nothing was effective. Some couples still utilized condoms, but even their failure rate increased to 70% of copulations. Part of the Alpha sex characteristics was to knot during intercourse, like canids. Even if the condom didn’t break, being locked together during sex tended to dislodge prophylactics. And even if the Omega wasn’t in heat, the seed of a virile Alpha could survive for up to three weeks in an Omega’s womb.

So Interactions between unmated Alphas and Omegas were limited to the virtual space, or breeder bars. Abortion laws were updated once Omega men started getting pregnant, but so did laws of parental responsibility. With most Omega pregnancies resulting in twins and sometimes triplets, any unmated Alpha identified in a paternity test was legally obligated to provide significant child support. If you couldn’t pay, you ended up in a work gang. The supporters claimed that it helped keep dangerous and irresponsible Alphas off the street. I thought it was a very convenient solution for the government, who quickly gained a cheap and controllable labor force.

Growing up, I always thought I’d be a Beta, the lucky, infertile third of the population. The only reproductive type who could control their pheromones and their reactions to others pheromones. 

In the space of one night the entire path of my young life changed completely.

I’d spent the evening working on schoolwork, taking care of my mundane assignments and helping my twin brother Ben with a history essay. Afterwards he helped me run lines; I had just earned the part of Hamlet in our upcoming fall production. We talked until my mother had turned out the bedroom light on us. Then I crawled into bed and fell fast asleep, as if it was any other night.

I woke up hours later engulfed in a heavy, uncomfortable heat. I could feel my heart racing, and a strange, spidery throbbing crawling under my skin, leaving me feeling on edge and aching. I tried to curl up on my side, hoping it would go away, but I couldn’t think about anything else. I started whimpering before I could stop myself, and I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to keep quiet and not wake Ben, asleep on the bunk above me.

Despite my efforts, I heard him stir a few minutes later. “Daniel? You okay?”

“I don’t feel right,” I managed to gasp, a shudder running through me. “I’m so hot….”

Ben slid down the bunk bed ladder quickly, bending over me. Whatever I was feeling intensified in a rush, though as his hand smoothed my blond hair from my forehead the physical touch somehow broke through the agony for a cool rush of relief. “You don’t have a fever….”

I tried to push my head more into his hand. “I just hurt. Will you please cuddle me?”

Ben perched on the side of my bed, and I found myself crawling up into his lap, burying my face in his chest, shivering madly against him. The feel of his arms around me was more comforting than it had ever been before, and I tried to curl closer, whimpering, wishing he could somehow wrap himself around me to stop the ache I felt. “More,” I gasped, and I heard him draw a shuddering breath.

I could feel my brother’s hands shake as they slowly stroked down my back, then clenched at the thin cotton of my T-shirt. “I think I need to get Mom and Dad,” he said, his voice strangely tight, suddenly pushing me off his lap and back onto my bed.

I tried to cling to him. “No – please don’t leave me!”

“I’ll be right back. I promise, I promise. Just wait right here, okay?”

I gave a soft sob of loss as he left, pulling my pillow to my chest, not being able to stop the trembling or tears.

I few minutes later I heard the door creak open again, and the sound of my mother’s voice. “Oh my god….”

“What’s wrong with him?” Ben’s voice cut through my pain. But my mother’s reaction shocked me.

“Ben, get out of here.”

“What? I – “

“Get out of here, now. Go to the basement and stay there. Don’t come up until I come and get you.”

“But I won’t – “

“Ben – “ I gave a choked sob as I tried to call for him. Why was she yelling at him? “Ben….”

“Benjamin Frederick Carson, do as I say, right now!”

He must have left. I heard my mother give a sigh of relief as she closed the door, crossing the room to perch on the side of my bed, her hand stroking my hair. It felt better, though not as comforting as Ben’s touch had been. Her words were heartbroken. “Oh baby. Oh my baby. I’m so sorry.”

“What’s happening?” I managed to ask, and my mother gave a soft sigh.

“You’ve gone into heat.”

I understood her immediately, with a terrible certainty that renewed my sobs. It had always been a possibility, of course. I’d identified as male early in life, and started developing as male when we’d started going through puberty, but when I’d turned sixteen and nothing had happened I’d assumed I’d end up Beta. Ben was Alpha, and Alpha/Omega identical twins were so rare….

But not rare enough.

Those few desperate, aching moments in the dark were the last time I touched my twin.

The next day I stared at him through the plate glass door of my house, as I waited with my mother in the front yard for a lift. She’d quietly helped me pack my bags that morning, piling my clothes and console and everything important in my life into two trunks. They looked lonely, sitting beside her on the grass.

I pressed my hand to the glass where Ben’s was on the other side, staring at the face that had mirrored my own my entire life: his sandy blond hair, his blue eyes full of agony. He was an inch taller and far more muscular than I – partly from being Alpha, partly from the sports he loved – but he was still my other half. I’d hugged my younger siblings Ange, Nat and little Brooks goodbye, but my parents hadn’t let me see Ben. I understood why, and I tried to hold back tears for his sake.

Behind the glass, Ben sobbed openly. I could just hear his voice. “This isn’t fair. Send me away. I’m the dangerous one, aren’t I? Don’t send Daniel, send me!”

“Ben.” I choked back a sob and forced myself to smile, calling his name louder. “Ben. It’s okay. Don’t worry about me. I'll be fine with Aunt Meredith. And we’ll talk online every night, right?”

His lower lip trembled, but he nodded. “Daniel, I’m so sorry….”

“It’s okay,” I forced myself to repeat, blinking hard but failing to prevent my tears from escaping. I’d never see Ben again, not until we were grown and safely mated. If either of us mated. Ben had always been my best friend and confidante, he understood me perfectly as only a twin could and the thought of losing him was heartbreaking. But I had to be strong for him. “Aunt Meredith can help me with my studies. I can go for that Harvard-Cambridge scholarship the teachers have been trying to get me to work towards.”

“But you don’t even want to study STEM, you….” He stopped, mouth twisting, and I fought not to react. I loved theater, but no normal theater school would take an Omega that would be out of commission a week out of every month – even the ones that were set up for segregation. The few Omega-only theater schools that had opened up were a joke.

“I’m going to be fine,” I told him, putting every ounce of certainty into my words. “I’m going to go into science and medicine. I’m going to _fix this_. You’ll see.”

Ben stared back at me for a moment. Then he gave me a little trembling smile, nodding. “You will.”

“You don’t need fixing, baby,” my mother said, tugging me back away from the door. “Come on, the lift is here.”

I knew there was no way I’d ever agree with her, but I didn’t say anything. My mother had always been happy being an Omega. Instead I reached back for my twin, yelling to make sure he heard me through the glass. “I’ll ping you tonight. We can talk on immersive. I’ll be fine, I promise. I love you!”

I was just able to hear him echo my words, and I kept my eyes locked on him until my mother pulled me into the lift, the shutting door cutting me off from him with a terrible finality.

“You don’t need fixing,” she said again as she programmed our destination into the lift, pressing buttons to activate the lift’s seats for long distance travel. She sounded anxious. “You know that, don’t you, baby?”

“I’m not a baby anymore,” I shot back, plopping down on one of the seats, annoyed.

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry. Please don’t be angry, Daniel.”

“How can I not be?” I felt a surge of rage as I turned to her. “You knew you had this coming your whole life, I didn’t! I had plans! Now I’m stuck as some second-rate citizen – “

“Shh. Don’t say that, please. There’s nothing wrong with what we are. I know it’s hard to accept now, but things will change. I’m sure you’ll find a nice Alpha when you get older and then you can go anywhere you like with her. Or him. This is only temporary.”

“Aunt Meredith is still unmated,” I pointed out, and my mother looked away, mouth twisting.

“Your Aunt doesn’t believe in mating.”

“But why does she have to be punished for that? Why do any of us? It’s not fair!”

My mother sighed, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me close. “I know it’s not,” she said softly, and I stopped resisting and sagged against her. “I wanted to do things with my life too, you know. I was going for the Harvard-Cambridge scholarship when I was your age. I had better grades than even your aunt.”

“Really?” I only saw my mother’s twin a handful of times over the past few years. We’d spent time with her for the holidays quite a bit when we’d been young – my parents were mated, so it was safe – but those visits had tapered off over the years. I knew she worked at the government research facility at Harvard-Cambridge in Medical research on what my mother referred to as “important projects”, though that was all. “What happened?”

“I met your father.” My mother’s voice softened, growing fonder. “Mere won the scholarship instead of me. And maybe I didn’t follow through with what I thought I wanted to do with my life, but I had all of you instead. I’ve never regretted that, Daniel. I love you all so much….”

Her voice cracked, and I tightened my arms around her. “I know, mom. I love you too. I promise I’ll message you all the time.”

“I’ll come visit,” she promised, kissing my hair. “Oh, Daniel. I’m so sorry you had to go through that last night. It wasn’t fair to you or Ben. We should have separated the two of you last year. I was just…. Hopeful.”

I shook my head. The only thing worse than knowing I’d never see Ben again was the thought of having even less time with him than we’d had. The reminder of what I’d lost sent a surge of sorrow through me, and I had to swallow down the lump in my throat before I could respond. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

The rest of the trip to my aunts was uneventful. Once we’d left the suburbs where we lived, the lift locked into to a high velocity, inter-city transport unit that had us to Metro-Boston in just under an hour. My aunt lived near the top of a tall residential building, and when the lift finally brought us to her door the woman who answered was much as I remembered.

My Aunt Meredith’s features were similar enough to my mothers’ that there was no doubt that they were twins. But that’s where the similarities stopped. Where my mother was a soft, incredibly feminine Omega, I would have thought my aunt a Beta if I hadn’t known better – possibly even an Alpha. She wore gender non-specific clothes that were smart and functional, though they didn’t quite hide the curves of a female Omega’s body. Her ash blonde hair was cut in a short pixie cut, though her large blue eyes ruined the severity of her look. 

What I didn’t expect was the other woman I could see behind her in the room – a sweet-faced brunette with bobbed hair. She smiled as she saw me, but I couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed. I hung back in the lift as my mother guided my trunks into the residence.

“Mere. Sorry for making you miss work, thanks so much for having us. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company….?”

My aunt urged me inside with a hand on my shoulder so the door could shut beside me. “No company. This is my mate, Liv. Liv, my sister Elouise and her son Daniel.”

Liv offered a hand, which my mother shook after a moment’s hesitation, not saying anything as she looked the woman over. Then she glanced to my aunt. “Can we talk in private?”

My aunt let out a long breath, as if she’d been expecting it, inclining her head towards a door with a frown. My mother followed her inside, leaving me alone with Liv.

I looked up at her. “You’re an Omega too, aren’t you. I thought this wasn’t allowed.”

Liv smiled brightly and shrugged. “It’s not _not_ allowed. It’s just not…” she gave a slight wave of her hand. “We can’t register officially. You’re Daniel, right? Please call me Liv. Was your trip okay?”

“I guess.” I glanced to the closed door that my mother had disappeared through, then up at her. “I’m going to eavesdrop.”

Liv chuckled softly, sitting down on the end of the couch. “I think everyone has a right to know their own business. Go ahead.”

I pressed my ear to the door just in time to hear my mother speak. “Mere, this isn’t appropriate.”

“Why, because I refuse to let some Alpha knock me up?”

“Look, I just don’t want him getting the wrong idea.”

“Oh, Right. God forbid the boy decide to do something with his life. Look, Elouise. If you want him to stay here you’re going to have to deal with it. Or do you want to take him home again?”

For a moment there was silence. Then I heard a soft sob. “Mere please, I don’t know what else to do….”

A pause. “Good god, are you pregnant again?”

“How am I supposed to avoid it? I can’t nurse forever. Sometimes I think it’s better than going into heat all the time, anyway. Oh God, Mere, you have to take him for me. Please. I’m not strong like you are. Don’t let him waste his potential like I did.”

There was silence for a long moment, and, nervous, I fought the urge to step back from the door. Then my aunt spoke. “I want full parental authority over him, Lou. You don’t get to coddle or try and influence any of his choices. And you don’t get to question mine.”

“All right. Fine. I should’ve listened to you in the beginning.”

Certain they were finished, I jumped back from the door, plopping myself down on the couch beside Liv. I stood up again as the door opened. “Is everything all right?”

My mother’s eyes were red and watery, but she nodded. “Come help me take your trunks into your room, Daniel. I need to get back to your brother.”

She hugged me for a long time at the door, silent, face buried in my shoulder. All I wanted was to get settled and go to bed to try and sleep away the nightmare of the day, but I forced myself to hold her, patting her shoulder lightly. She seemed suddenly much smaller and more fragile than she’d ever been in my youth. I guess that was just me growing up. “I’ll be okay here, mom.”

“I know you will be. Listen to your aunt, okay? She’s really a softy at heart, I promise. She’ll take care of you.”

Over her shoulder, I watched my aunt roll her eyes and give a silent chuckle. I smiled at her. “I will, mom. Don’t worry about me, okay? Take care of - ” I swallowed down the knot in my throat. “Take care of Ben, okay? He isn’t… This will be harder on him than me.”

My mother nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “My brave boy,” she whispered, and finally pulled away.

My aunt watched the door close as my mother finally got into the lift for home. She let out a long breath, then turned to face me. “Well, that’s that. Tea?”

The thought of being able to sit down and focus on something normal like a cup of tea brought a rush of relief. “Yes please. Thank you.”

Liv jumped up from the couch, her smile just as bright as before as she turned for the kitchen. “I’ll set the service. I have a calming tea that I find especially soothing when I’m in heat, Daniel. Would you like to try it?”

“I’d appreciate that.” The feeling that I’d woken up with the middle of the night had subsided quite a bit - I tried not to dwell on the knowledge that my recovery was due to the absence of my twin’s triggering pheromones - but I was still constantly aware of it; that heavy, spidery sensitivity still crawled under my skin. I helped my aunt extend the kitchen table. “Thank you for agreeing to take care of me, Aunt Meredith.”

“God, please call me Mere. Aunt makes me feel way older than I am.” Mere gave a little hum under her breath. “Sit down, Daniel. Let’s talk ground rules.”

Liv turned back to us from the counter. “Mere, for heaven’s sake - “

“Ground rules first. Then you can be as fluffy as you want.” My aunt took the chair kitty corner to mine, steepling her hands in front of her and meeting my gaze. “First. I consider you an adult, so I’m going to treat you like one and I expect you to act like one. If you want to know something, you can ask me and I’ll tell you the truth. I’m going to expect that you’ll extend me the same courtesy. Will you?”

After my mother’s emotional coddling, I found my aunt’s straightforwardness surprisingly refreshing. I nodded. “Okay.”

“Good. Now, the first thing you need to know about being an Omega is that when you go into heat you’re going to be testy, achy, and a general ray of sunshine. You can either bitch about it or you can have sex. I don’t particularly care which you do as long as it’s in the privacy of your room.”

I stared at her in shock. “Seriously? Like, with a Beta?”

She shrugged. “Or another Omega, whatever floats your boat. I told you, you’re an adult. I’ll have parental authority over you until you turn eighteen, but as long as you don’t try to do anything illegal or blatantly idiotic you can make your own choices. What do you want to do about school?”

“STEM studies,” I said immediately, taking the tumbler of tea that Liv gave me and wrapping my hands around its warmth. “If it’s not too late. I know my recent test scores haven’t been the best, but I promise I can make up for it. ” My early childhood aptitude tests had placed me in the highest percentile in the STEM fields, which had made both my parents incredibly happy. I’d pursued those subjects diligently, but when teachers started talking about special boarding schools I’d intentionally fallen behind. I didn’t want anything that would take me away from Ben. It was easy to focus my passion into theater instead. 

My aunt raised her eyebrows. “The problem with being smart is that it’s so difficult to pretend to be an idiot. I’ve been very informed of your progress, your mother made sure of that. The portions of your last aptitude tests focusing on advanced logic, complex equations and problem-solving well outweighed the simpler questions that you obviously threw. But good try.”

I sipped my tea, looking up at her anxiously. “Then you think it’s not too late for the Harvard–Cambridge scholarship? Will they even consider an Omega?”

Mere laughed at that, shaking her head. “Dear boy, it’s _for_ Omegas. Listen. No matter how much you’re going to resent what happened to you, your mother has done the absolute best she could for you. Harvard-Cambridge is autonomous, it has been for centuries. As long as we obey segregation laws we will always continue to be. We were one of the first institutions in the world to establish fully integrated segregation. Any intelligent mind is worth investing in, regardless of reproductive type. Some of the greatest Omega minds in the world study and work here as a result. The STEM classes your mother had you take were all qualifiers for the Harvard-Cambridge advanced intake program. Two or three semesters of that should be enough to qualify you for full post-secondary studies and the scholarship application. I’ve already sent in your transfer documents. We’ll go in tomorrow morning to get you oriented.”

The enormity of what she was saying was overwhelming, but I couldn’t help but feel a small flicker of hope. “How can you be so sure they’ll take me?”

“Despite the fact that with your aptitudes and genealogy they’d be fools not to?” Mere gave a soft snort, leaning back in her chair. “I have some pull. I implemented the program.”

I spoke with my Aunt and Liv a bit longer while sipping my tea, asking questions about the University and what little of their work they could tell me about. I had to admit that it intrigued me. As soon as they were certain I was settled, Liv and my aunt begged off for the university, needing to put time in their project. It relieved me. I took some time to unpack the first of my trunks in the spare room that Mere had given me, trying not to be overwhelmed at how empty and lonely it seemed without the presence of my twin’s possessions. But the shelf above the bed was just long enough to hold my small collection of antique science fantasy books, and I took comfort in the familiar musty smell of their pages as I set them it out. It made the room seem less lonely, made it easier to accept that this would be my space for some time to come.

Finally I set up my console, pulling on the visor and gloves necessary for Immersive and activating the virtual space. I’d used it for some of my specialty classes, but this was the first time I would use it for the purpose it was designed for: a safe space for Alphas and Omegas to communicate. It was as sobering for me as everything else had been that day. I started a private session - Ben was the only person I cared to meet - and called home.

Ben connected so quickly that I knew he’d been waiting for me. He looked tired and haggard, and I felt guilty that I’d made him wait. For a long moment we just looked at each other quietly.

“Did you manage to sleep at all last night?” I asked finally, and Ben shook his head.

“No. I couldn’t stop thinking about… I wouldn’t have hurt you, Daniel.”

I smiled. “I know. I wasn’t afraid.”

Ben glanced away, visibly upset. “Dad thinks you should have been.”

My mouth twisted as I fought to hold back anger. “He doesn’t know you like I do.”

Ben’s expression softened, and he managed a small smile. “…no. He doesn’t.”

Craving contact, I raised my hand to touch his avatar’s shoulder. The glove registered a slight pressure, but nothing more. It was a shadow of real of physical contact. “God, this program is terrible.”

“We should ask mom and dad for upgrades for Christmas. Maybe even sense jackets. I’m sure they’d get them for us.”

I wouldn’t be home for Christmas. Despite my earlier optimism I felt a wave of despair. “What’s the point? It’s not real, it will never be real. It’s not you!” I was nearly yelling before I could stop myself, voice breaking on a sob. I could hear him making soft, comforting noises, and his avatar motioned to touch mine, a terrible mockery of the embrace I really wanted. “I can’t do this,” I sobbed, losing control of the emotion I’d fought so hard to hold back all day. “I’m so alone. I can’t do this without you!”

“Shhh…. God, Daniel, don’t cry. We’ll figure something out, I promise. As soon as I’m legal I’ll get hitched to someone, I don’t even care – “

“No!” Thought was horrifying, and I pushed back to look up at him, shocked out of my tears. “Don’t you dare do that, Ben. Promise me.”

“Daniel…”

“No, I’m serious.” I reached to grab his hand with both of mine, and the pressure and warmth I felt through the gloves was almost enough. “If you take a mate, you make sure that they’re amazing and that you’re head over heels in love with them. I couldn’t stand to see anything less for you, especially not just for my sake. Promise me.”

Ben sighed, and nodded. “Okay.”

“Promise me.”

Ben pressed the back of his free hand over one of mine, and I finally felt a bit of comfort. “I promise that I will not commit to anyone unless I’m head over heels in love with them. I promise as your twin and on my love for you and everything I hold dear. Because otherwise… I might. Just to see you again.”

“Thank you, darling. I know.” I wanted to hug him, badly, but knew it would break my heart to try. Instead I squeezed his hand, despite how strange it felt. “Don’t worry about me. I’m sorry I got so upset. It’s the…” I let out a long breath. “Hormones. But I think it’s going to be really good for me, living with Aunt Mere.” I told him about the intake program, and the scholarship, and everything she’d said about my aptitudes and how mother had prepared me even without me knowing. “I’m going to do well. I’m going to get on the research teams. Did you know that over a third of the technological and pharmaceutical patents relating to reproductive identity in the past century have come out of Harvard-Cambridge? That’s huge. Think of what I could be involved with.”

Ben glanced away. “But we’re still segregated. Nothing’s worked.”

“I’ll _make_ it work. You’ll see.”

My brother nodded. “I know you will. Daniel, if there’s anything I can do - anything I can send you, anything…” He stopped, looking a little helpless.

“Thank you,” I said, then gave him a sheepish smile. “Ben, I… took your blue sweater with me when I left. I wanted something of you. I’m sorry.” 

Ben gave a slightly bitter laugh and glanced away. “Careful. It’s probably dangerous.”

“I don’t care. _You’re_ not dangerous. You know that, right?”

He nodded reluctantly. “Thanks. I… I’ll try not to feel that way.”

We talked until I heard Liv and Mere come home and realized how late I’d kept him up. I tried to go to bed myself, but despite how exhausted I knew I must be, I couldn’t get comfortable in the new bed and tossed and turned for what felt like hours. The room seemed too quiet without the presence of my twin.

Finally I opened my second trunk, moving aside the items that I had yet to unpack to find the soft, worn navy blue sweater that sat neatly folded at the bottom. I sat back down on the edge of the bed and pressed it to my chest, wrapping my arms around it and squeezing tight as if this shadow of an embrace could somehow ease the terrible ache of loss I felt.

Letting out a long breath, I dropped my head to press my face to the fabric, breathing deep.

I felt a sudden rush move over my body, a shiver that started at the crown of my head and ended in a pulse of heat between my thighs. I couldn’t move, overwhelmed by both shock and arousal, still clutching my brother’s sweater to my chest. The rational part of me knew it was a purely physical reaction, nothing more. Something that would’ve been caused by the scent of any alpha. I just need to put the sweater away and try and go back to sleep. But the desperate, empty part inside me couldn’t let me put it down, aching for some kind, any kind of connection to what had been taken from me.

For a long moment I sat perched on the edge of the bed, lost and longing, unable to force myself to do what I knew I should. But ‘should’ it wasn’t a good enough argument when no one would ever know but me.

Lowering my head, I gave in and let myself indulge again, rubbing my face against the soft fabric and breathing deep. I moaned softly at the effect it had on me despite trying not to, then curled up in bed on my side, putting Ben’s sweater on top of my pillow and resting my face against it. The scent of him - of an alpha, I firmly reminded myself - left me hard and aching for stimulation, and I didn’t even try to resist the urge to slip my hand into my pajama pants and curl my fingers around my cock.

I was no stranger to masturbation, but it felt different now - more intense, more desperate. My breath caught in my throat as I worked my erection, rocking into my fist as my fingers slicked arousal from the head of my cock down my shaft. It wasn’t enough. Finally I turned onto my back, eyes closed and face still pressed to Ben’s sweater as I slid my free hand between my thighs and pressed two fingers up inside myself. The extra stimulation sent a flood of heat through me, soon pushing my body to climax, pleasure shuddering through me as I forgot about everything but the physicality of it all for one blessed moment.

Afterwards I cleaned myself up and guiltily tucked Ben’s sweater away. It didn’t make me feel any less alone. But at least now I could sleep.

~~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Daniel Carson**

Mere and I stood on the balcony outside her residence early the next morning as we waited for a lift, and I looked out over the acres of green trees and red brick buildings that made up Harvard-Cambridge. Somehow the institution had maintained the same architectural esthetic over hundreds of years, while the world changed around it. Some of the buildings had been painstakingly maintained for hundreds of years, Mere told me, even through the renovations of enforced segregation. The newer buildings and residence towers had been carefully constructed to match the same nineteenth century look. Compared to the cold, functional towers and industrial buildings of Metro-Boston that ringed the institution’s land, the old buildings and extensive green space of Harvard-Cambridge was a breath of life. It was much, much bigger than I’d imagined, and the feeling of rich history and refinement put me in mind of my books. It comforted me, and the idea of calling this beautiful place home made me feel hopeful.

Mere took me first to an institution clinic, where a kindly Beta doctor verified my hormone levels, then hooked me into the machine that would upgrade my tracking chip permanently and tattoo the identifying O into my skin. My heart pounded as the cold titanium restraints closed tight around my wrist and forearm. A pressure injection of local anesthetic numbed my skin, but pain wasn’t what I was afraid of. I closed my eyes, thinking that I’d give anything for Ben to be with me.

Suddenly I felt the warmth of Mere’s hand on my shoulder. “I hear if you ask nicely they’ll give you a lime sucker afterwards.”

I opened my eyes and looked up at her, giving a soft huff of a laugh despite myself at the absurdity of it all. “It would turn my tongue green, though.”

Mere smiled, giving my shoulder a squeeze and a pat. “You’ll be all right, kid. See? You’re done. Now we match like proper family.”

Family. In a sudden moment of weakness I threw my arms around her, burying my face in her shoulder, trembling until I felt her return my embrace, making a soft, soothing noise as she stroked my hair and the back of my spine. She was so completely different from Ben that it almost made his loss more poignant. But her presence and care was so much better than being alone.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured into her shoulder.

Mere’s hand patted my back gently. “No need to apologize. Just don’t let on that I’m secretly a softy, or next thing you know we’ll have a house full of cats.”

We made our way to what I assumed was the main building for the intake program, and Mere disappeared into the administrative office. I stood quietly, watching students move through the halls as they arrived for their morning classes. All omegas and betas, I knew, and it was a little amazing to me to see so many in the same place. I’d had a few omega teachers as a young child, but it wasn’t safe for them to continue teaching in person with children over the age of ten, so other than a few of my parent’s friends I had met very few people like me, and fewer still omega men. I tried to analyze the boys that passed me, to see if anything in their appearance or manner give them away as omega over beta. I knew the stereotypes, of course, I’d seen them in movies and dramas my whole life. Beta men were the free-spirited lovers of the world, beautiful and masculine without being overbearingly buff like alphas could be. Omega men were small, underdeveloped, weak. Soft-spoken and submissive.

I couldn’t see any obvious differences between the people I watched, though. Most wore long sleeves in the autumn weather, hiding their identification tattoos. Many seemed already fully adult. Had the stereotypes been a lie? I was already as tall as my mother, and even though my family tended towards being short statured, I was already more broad shouldered than most of the Omega men I’d seen in media.

I focused on a tall, dark-haired boy who just entered the building at the end of the Hall, making his way towards me with the confident gait. He wore gray suit pants and a waistcoat with an effortless style that I couldn’t help but admire. His smile as he greeted other students was contagious, and as he approached me I found myself smiling despite myself. He was classically handsome, like something out of a romantic era film. Was he a beta? He seemed far too dashing to be anything else.

He noticed my stare, and his smile widened as he closed the gap between us. I forced myself to fight back the surge of embarrassment of being caught staring, holding his gaze boldly despite being briefly lost in how brilliantly blue his eyes were. “Good morning.”

His eyebrows quirked as he glanced me up and down. “Good morning yourself. I haven’t seen you around here before. I’m Neal Caffrey. You just checking the place out?”

“Daniel Carson. I’m transferring in,” I told him as I took his offered hand, suddenly feeling confident in my acceptance. “Have you been in the intake program long?”

Neal’s handshake was warm and firm and lingered flirtatiously. “I’ve been here three years, just going into my last semester. I get to spend all my afternoons on actual university research projects, have they told you about that yet? It’s amazing.”

I shook my head, and tried to tell myself it was only my hormones are making me feel so completely charmed by him. “No. I’m pretty new to the whole program, honestly.”

“Well, I would be happy to show you around, if you like.” His eyebrows quirked again, a hint of unmistakable salaciousness in his smile. “Help you get… Oriented.”

“Neal, stop harassing the new students.” I heard a male voice chide from the office doorway, and turned to see a man with surprisingly similar ascetics and look to Neal’s.

“I’m just fellowshiping my peers, uncle.” Neal’s smirk was positively cheeky. “Daniel, this is my uncle Simon, Doctor of Biomedical Engineering and one of the best looking of our professors.”

The doctor’s lips pursed as if trying not to smile. “He only says that because we’re related. Neal, can you please go catch May at check-in and ask her to wait outside my lab for me? I’d like her to show Daniel around.”

Neal made a show of pouting. “That’s not fair. You always give May the cute ones.” He stepped back despite his complaints, giving me a wink. “We’ll catch up soon over coffee, sunshine.”

His uncle gave a soft snort, shaking his head. “You’ll have to excuse him. He really is a walking beta stereotype, and far too charming for his own good. But he’s genuine. It’s nice to meet you, Daniel. Call me Simon, most of the students end up as colleagues in a few years anyway, it makes it far easier to start out on a first name basis.”

“And Simon thinks ‘professor’ makes him sound like old balls.” Mere left the office to join us, giving Simon a smirk. “You’re set for orientation, Daniel. Simon will make sure you get where you need to be. Assuming you don’t hate the place, you’ll officially start your classes on Monday.”

“I like it already,” I said truthfully, and gave into the impulse to hug her. “Thank you.”

Mere returned the embrace with a gentle squeeze before stepping back. “Well… Good. I’ll see you tonight.”

Simon watched her head down the hall, then turned to me. “Mere says your twin is an alpha.”

I looked down at the tile floor. “Yes. I’m sorry, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Of course. I just wanted to tell you that my twin sister is, too. So if you do ever feel the need… I understand how it might feel for you.”

I glanced up at him, surprised, and nodded. “Thank you.”

As I followed Simon down the hall, I thought back to Neal and couldn’t help but feel like I really wouldn’t mind if he was the one to show me around. I was aware enough of my sexuality to know that I preferred boys, and between Neal’s pretty eyes and flirtatious charm it was hard to stop thinking about him. But before I could work up the nerve to say anything, Simon had introduced me to May, who whisked me away into the hustle of the school.

I liked May almost immediately; she was a warm, bubbly blonde Omega girl who seemed to be friends with everyone. She seemed immediately comfortable with orientation, as if she’d done it dozens of times, but that didn’t prevent her from showing genuine interest in me. By the time we reached our first destination she’d introduced me to five different people as if they were old friends.

We stepped into the back of one of the main lecture halls and I stopped short. The room was a grand, old style lecture theater with seating curving around a central staging area, and looked like it could seat close to five hundred people, though it was currently only third full. What I didn’t expect was that the middle of the Hall would be neatly divided with huge sheets of plate glass, and the students on either side would be interacting as if it was hardly even there. A group of students were currently leading the discussion, three on the side and two on the other, making digital notes on a pair of huge displays that mirrored each other. The professor was a distinguished looking gentleman who looked to be in his 40s that sat in the far corner on the other side, watching the discussion and quietly taking notes.

“Fully integrated segregation,” I murmured, and May smiled brightly.

“You got it. This is one of Professor Bumstead’s classes, he teaches a number of physics and math related things, both here and in the postsecondary program. The lines between the two are pretty blurred, honestly. We get tapped for involvement in post secondary projects all the time. Harvard-Cambridge is all about recognizing and utilizing potential in whatever form it may take, I think that’s why we’re so successful.”

“Is he an alpha?”

“Of course, but that doesn’t have any impact on the learning. Most of our classes are mixed. Sometimes there’s two profs, but that’s more for the benefit of the program, you know?”

I nodded slowly, still amazed at how easily everyone interacted. I couldn’t help but secretly wish that Ben had shown enough of an interest or aptitude in STEM studies to join the classes with me. “And they never need to directly interact?”

May shook her head. “The program is designed that way. The Betas can go back and forth, of course. There’s a few transfer points here and there.” She pointed to a small vestibule sent to the back wall that I’d missed. “It goes on lockdown if a non-beta tries to piggyback through. They don’t take any chances with segregation. But we have all the advantages that they do - equal space in the sports and aquatic centers, the entire massive East lawn is ours, equal access to the library….”

I felt a rush of excitement. “The library? A real library?”

May giggled. “I’ll show you.”

The Library was its own building; six floors of materials and study space. “It’s not all STEM, of course. Every program utilizes the space,” May said, though I was only half listening. The walls were lined with rows upon rows books, real books, and the faint scent of them was thrilling. I could see the main stacks behind glass at the end of the study space, and small collection lifts zipped back and forth along the shelves on rails, collecting a volume here and there to take to a student on the floor.

“It’s beautiful. We really have access to everything?”

“For the most part. Most of the material is still digital, and a lot of the books can only be directly handled by the preservation machines.” She leaned closer to me. “This is a great place to meet people, too.”

The suggestiveness of her tone brought my mind back to the hormones that I’d been trying very hard to ignore throughout the day, and I had to force myself to pause for a moment and clear my head. “I’ll keep that in mind. Are the labs integrated like the lecture hall was?

May grinned. “You’ll see. Come on. Simon’s class should be doing something interesting by now.”

We returned to the lab where I’d met her, where I found that the space had been converted into a half dozen workstations, each manned by two or three students. There was no glass separated second half to the room, but they didn’t need to be; each workstation was fitted with a large monitor across which students worked and collaborated. It was hardly even the most high tech part of the setup; the lab materials themselves were a number of smaller interactive displays and a main 3-D field that allowed both sides of the group to study and manipulate data.

“The workstations interface with both the virtual training environments and live laboratories,” May told me. “It keeps everything completely sterile and lets us work on a lot of really cool things. Come see.” She steered me over to the closest workstation, where a boyishly cute dark-haired omega was speaking with two girls on the display. “Hey guys, this is Daniel. Daniel, this is Leon, and Avery and June on the other side.”

I greeted them, taking in the setup as they talked.

“May’s supposed to be in our group today, but she’s skipping out.” The boy – Leon - complained.

May laughed. “What, you’re telling me you can’t handle a little… What are we doing, anyhow?”

“Trying to get E. coli to bioluminescence,” one of the girls on the other side responded. “Simon says it’s supposed to be simple stuff, so he screwed it up somehow so we have to figure out how to fix it. I thought it was the medium, but it’s still not responding like it’s supposed to. We’re blaming you.”

“You should probably turn down the heat,” I said without thinking. “E. coli doesn’t respond well over 44°. You’re pushing that now. Optimal growth is 37°.” Suddenly realizing that I’d corrected them, I felt myself flush. “Sorry, I mean – “

May laughed, slinging an arm around my shoulders and giving a squeeze. “He’s right. And now you guys can’t blame me if you can’t finish the assignment.”

“Well, just make sure Simon puts him in our group next time,” the other girl said with a grin.

We spent some time in the lab, then took lunch with Leon on the East Lawn, enjoying the fresh air and autumn sunshine. It was beautiful, especially considering how few omega-only parks were accessible to anyone but the very rich in the cities. I found myself thinking that Leon was rather attractive as well, in a sweet, adorable way, and tried to tell myself firmly that again, it was just the hormones.

The afternoon was spent visiting more classes and meeting more people, watching others learning. The program was everything that the regular STEM studies of my childhood had been; students were encouraged to work together, learn from each other, break the rules and think outside the box. I began to understand that STEM pursuits didn’t quash creativity after all like I’d thought for so long; creativity just took another form.

If this was how life was going to be… at least I was going to like it.

“Thanks for showing me around today. And everything else,” I told May as the school day came to a close. “Will I see you Monday? Depending on my schedule, of course?”

May smiled brightly and nodded. “My pleasure, sugar. Glad you like it here. Monday’s up to you, though. It’s lecture week, so we’ll all be in immersive.”

“Immersive?” It was such a beautiful facility, I couldn’t understand the need. “Why?”

May giggled. “Most of us Omegas are going into heat, and with that many of us we tend to get really, really bitchy if we’re all in close physical proximity. Our cycles tend to synch up because we spend so much time together. Convenient, right?” May smiled, stepping closer and resting her hand over mine. “But that doesn’t mean we can meet up outside of class for much nicer purposes. Would you like to?”

I opened my mouth, then shut it again, not knowing how to respond. The suggestive tone in her voice and the look in her eyes made her intention unmistakable, but I still had to ask anyway. “For… _sex_?”

She grinned. “Of course. You don’t have to have pheromones to have _chemistry_ , right?”

My head spun. “I… guess I never thought about it.”

May chuckled, patting my hand. “Sugar, don’t let anyone tell you that Betas are the sluts of the world. We fuck like rabbits when we’re in heat. And sometimes when we’re not. I can show you, if you want.”

The thought was intriguing, but I shook my head. “I don’t think I’m into girls. I’m sorry. But I really appreciate the offer.”

May smiled, stepping back and perching on the stool. “That’s okay, I thought you might not be. But you should really think about hooking up with one of the boys. The Betas or the Omegas. I’m not gonna lie, you’re in a very enviable position right now, as fresh meat. Have you met anyone today that struck your fancy?”

I hesitated, considering whether or not I should tell her. But something about May made me believe that her kindness was completely genuine. “Do you know anything about Simon’s nephew?”

“Neal? Oh, that pretty boy’s definitely a charmer. I’ve had the pleasure of a few dates. Can’t see him settling down for quite a long time, but he’s very kind and very genuine. And… Attentive.” She glanced me up and down, eyebrows quirking. “I could introduce you, if you like.”

I felt my cheeks heat was self-consciousness, then shook my head. “No, I - I think I’m okay. But thank you.”

“If you’re sure. It’s no trouble, so if you change your mind, let me know. Sex makes things a lot easier, I promise. I mean, you still won’t feel as hellish as you would if there was an Alpha around, but – ”

The sudden reminder of Ben sent a shiver of sorrow through me, and I fought not to react. “I’ll think about it. Thank you.”

May leaned in to press a kiss to the side of my hair. “Ping me this weekend if you change your mind. Or if you just need help settling in. I like you. And not just because you’re fresh meat.” She winked at that, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I will. Thanks again.”

~~~

 

I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do with my weekend. If I’d been home, I would have spent it with Ben; going to one of his hockey games and studying in the bleachers, helping him with his own schoolwork, going out somewhere to meet up with other friends and do something completely frivolous. Part of me was tempted to just spend the weekend alone, to finish my unpacking, do a bit of reading for Monday’s classes, and talk to Ben on immersive.

Part of me just didn’t want to be alone.

I ate dinner with Mere and Liv, but excused myself soon afterwards, disappearing into my room and digging into my class schedule. They were kind, but they weren’t Ben. I let the reading distract me, and was several pages in when my wrist com flashed with a message.

_’Hey, sunshine. It’s Neal. How was your tour? Want to meet me for coffee?’_

Fresh meat, May had said.

Suddenly I realized that I didn’t care.

 _’Love to, handsome,’_ I messaged back. _’Send me your location.’_

I expected the lift to take me into the common areas of the institution, and was surprised when it turned back around the tall residence buildings instead. It ascended all the way to the top of one of the buildings, the door opening out onto the roof. For a moment I thought there must have been a mistake. But then I caught sight of Neal, who waved at me from the other side of the roof.

Stepping out of the lift, I started towards him. The wide roof of the residence building was ringed with a tall stone balustrade, but was roofed in tiers, and when I climbed up to the level that Neal was sitting on, I found it offered a beautiful view of Harvard-Cambridge cast into bright golds and dark shadows from the light of the sun as it set behind Metro Boston.

Neal was sitting on an actual checked picnic blanket that had been spread out on the concrete. A small trunk had an old-fashioned coffee urn sitting on top of it, brewing traditional coffee, with a full service to go with it. He smiled up at me, just as dashing as he had been when we’d met that morning. “Glad you could join me. The coffee’s almost ready. Have a seat?”

I settled beside him. “Impressive. Do you go to this much trouble for all the fresh meat?”

He chuckled. “Only the really cute ones. Cream? Sugar?”

I nodded, watching him pour the coffee and add cream and sweetener to the dark liquid until it was a beautiful caramel. I took the cup he handed me, thanking him and sipping the steaming liquid. The taste was rich and just the perfect mix of sweet and bitter. ”This is amazing, thank you. And the view. How on earth did you get roof access?”

Neal grinned and shrugged. “Being royalty has a few advantages.”

I stared at him, trying to place the reference. “Royalty?”

“Harvard-Cambridge royalty. Six generations of my family, now. But it really wasn’t that hard. I’m sure your aunt could get you roof access, if you wanted to invite me over sometime.”

I wasn’t sure how I felt about the idea of this being more than a one-time dalliance. I blew on my coffee, then took another sip. “I feel like I should tell you that I’m not usually this… forward with my affections. But I’ve had a really, really rough couple of days, and I didn’t want to be alone tonight.” I forced my hand to hold the coffee still, taking another sip to calm my nerves. “I don’t want to think about anything other than tonight. But I also don’t want to just make out on your roof.”

Neal shifted to sit beside me, resting his arm on the blanket behind me. His smile seemed softer, his voice lowering. “We can do whatever you’d like, Daniel.”

I swallowed hard, watching him. The blue of his eyes was even more striking in the light of the setting sun, and I found myself very much just wanting to lose myself in them. “If I go to bed with you, can I stay for the night?”

Neal hummed softly, leaning down to press a kiss to my shoulder. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

I set my coffee aside on the blanket, leaning in to nuzzle his hair and giving a soft sigh. I felt like every nerve in my body had been on edge and hypersensitive for the entire day. Even the gentle, simple contact with Neal felt good. He lifted his hand from the blanket behind me to rest on my hip, moving his lips from my shoulder to nuzzle my neck, trailing slow kisses along my jaw until his lips finally pressed to mine.

The softness of his lips on mine was relieving and arousing all at once. I moaned softly against his mouth, sliding my fingers up into his neatly styled dark hair, tugging him closer, urging more. Neal claimed my lips with what I thought must certainly be an inordinate amount of skill, teasing caresses mixed with deeper, yearning kisses, tasting of heat and coffee and the promise of things to come.

I soon found myself pressed back the blanket under him, yielding completely to his kisses and touch. The firm strength of his body underneath the fine wool of his dress pants and the silk backing of his waistcoat was intoxicating, and all I could think about was wanting more. I let myself rock up against his hip, already half hard and quickly growing more so. “Can we please go inside?”

The look Neal’s eyes as he pulled back to look down on me was warm and promising. “Love to,” he murmured, indulging in a long, slow kiss before helping me to my feet. “Leave the coffee service. I’ll come back for it tomorrow.”

He took me around the corner of the building, where a door was set into the wall with an old-fashioned key lock that he opened with a ring from his pocket. Inside was an old cable elevator, but I’d hardly had time to admire it before I found myself pressed up against the wall with Neal’s mouth on mine. Then he pulled back, looking down at me seriously.

“I really do find you sweet,” he said softly. “And incredibly sexy. It’s not just because you’re new here. I hope you can believe that.”

I didn’t expect the tenderness, and it caught me a little off guard. I gave a small nod and smiled, following him out of the cable elevator and down the hall into a small student residence.

It struck me suddenly how fast things had changed for me, when I’d expected to spend the weekend with Ben like I had every other. I realized that in coming to see Neal I wouldn’t be able to talk to my twin tonight, and, feeling guilty, I paused to send a message to him on my com.

Neal slid his arms around my waist as I did, nuzzling my hair. “Everything all right?”

I nodded, stroking my hands up his chest as I turned my attention back to him. “Can I ask you to entice me tonight? Just a little? I’ve been in heat for two days, I just need….”

“Happy to help you out,” Neal replied softly, and claimed my mouth again.

The pleasure of Neal’s kisses was already distracting, and it took a few minutes to realize that my body was responding to his pheromones, the constant need that I’d felt over the past few days intensifying gradually until the only thing that I could think about was how much I wanted him. It was exactly what I needed, and he kissed along his jaw hungrily as my fingers tugged at the buttons of his shirt and waistcoat. “Oh God….”

My clothes were scattered across his floor almost before I realized it, and I found myself pressed back under him again in his bed, pressing up against the smooth heat of his bare skin and crying out at how good it felt. My cock was hard and aching, tight against my stomach, and as I arched up against him the friction sent a flood of pleasure through me, stroking the heat of my desire. I wrapped my thighs around his narrow hips, trying to grind up against him, too turned on to be anxious. “Please… please make love to me, I -”

Neal murmured something soothing against my neck, licking and sucking at my skin. The tease of his cock against my sex was maddening, and I tried to grind against his shaft, whimpering. “Neal!”

“Beautiful sunshine boy,” he murmured, and slid down the length of my body to take the head of my cock in his mouth.

The sudden heat of his mouth around me was so unexpected and incredible it almost distracted me from my need to be fucked. I found myself arching up into his mouth before I could stop myself, fingers tangled in his hair, toes braced against the mattress. “Oh God!”

Neal moaned approvingly around me, swallowing me down with ease as his fingers slipped between my thighs. He looked up at me through his eyelashes as his lips slid down the shaft of my cock again, rocking two fingers into me the same time. Like the night before, the sensation of being filled was unexpectedly good, and I bit my lip on a moan of pleasure, hips jerking a little under him, unsure of whether to rock up into his mouth or back into the penetration. It all felt too good, I found myself gasping for breath, body shuddering as I tried to hold off. “Oh God, I can’t - please, I need - !”

Despite my pleas, Neal made no move to pull back, swallowing me down again. Sliding a third finger up inside me, he began to fuck me more firmly, quickly and expertly drawing my body to the pinnacle of pleasure. I cried out as I came in his mouth in hot spurts, shuddering around his fingers and gasping for breath.

He sucked me gently through my climax, licking my cock clean and mouthing warm kisses at the base before finally sliding back up to nuzzle my neck, easing his fingers from me. I pulled his face to mine, licking past his lips and reveling in the taste of my sex on them. “You’re amazing. Now fuck me.”

He chuckled against my mouth, hips rocking unhurriedly against mine. “I can wait until I get you hard again.”

Despite the release of orgasm, I was wound up far too tight to wait. “Or you can entice me more. And then we can fuck again later.” I rolled my hips up against him, making him hiss with pleasure. A moment later I felt desire flood through me, and I moaned, kissing him harder, hands clenching at his back. “God, yes. Come on, handsome. Need you inside me…”

“Pushy little omega,” he said with a grin, reaching between us to tease me with the head of his cock. “This what you want?”

I cried out the breathlessly as he started to rock into me. The thick girth of his cock was like nothing I’d ever felt before, stretching me open and filling me perfectly with none of the discomfort I’d been worried about. I dug my heels into the small of his back, rocking up against him to push him deeper. “Oh my fucking God yes…”

“So good,” he murmured, breath warm against my lips, stealing soft kisses as he began to move with me slowly. My cock was still hard against my stomach, but for the moment I didn’t care, lost to the slide of his cock inside me, the pleasure of it finally relieving the terrible ache I’d been feeling.

I whimpered in agreement, forehead pressed to his as I arched against him, shivering from how overwhelmingly good it was. “Oh yes. Oh God, I needed this, thank you…”

Neal smiled, blue eyes warm. He gave a slightly harder thrust against me, echoing my soft cry of pleasure. “Always my pleasure to help a beautiful boy…” He dropped his head to nuzzle my throat, pressing soft kisses up to my earlobe. “So beautiful, Daniel… I’ll take care of you…”

His words sent a pang of emotion through me, and I fought to hide it, pulling his mouth back to mine. “Harder,” I gasped, shivering, crying out as his hips bucked into me. I needed the intensity, needed to lose myself to him, before I knew it I was begging, pleading for more. “God yes more, harder, please - !”

Whether it was the pheromones or my own desperate need, the intensity of our lovemaking overwhelmed me, each thrust driving a flood of pleasure through me. I dug my fingers into his back in the attempt to hold on, gasping out my pleasure and reveling in the sweet agony of clinging to the precipice before release. His breath was hot against my neck, gasping as his hips stuttered into me. “Daniel - “

He cried out breathlessly against my skin as he came, jerking up into me in helpless thrusts, his passion and desperation pulling me over the edge again. I gave myself over to it completely, crying out as waves of pleasure shuddered through my body, eclipsing my thoughts and worries and loneliness for a few bright moments of ecstasy.

For a long time I let my thoughts drift, floating in a sea of warmth and well-being and post-coital satisfaction. Neal was trailing slow, breathless kisses along my jaw, and finally I turned my face into them, kissing him gently. “Thank you.”

“So beautifully polite,” Neal replied, scattering soft kisses across my skin. “I should be thanking you. Let me take care of the cleanup, okay? Then we can cuddle.”

“I’d really like that.” I was happy enough to let him, enjoying the closeness as he cleaned both of us up and tucked the quilt around us. He urged me to cuddle against his chest, and the feel of his arms around me was almost as fulfilling as the sex had been.

Neal’s fingers stroked slowly through the strands my hair. “I don’t know why I find you so beautiful,” he mused, still stroking. “Maybe it’s the sadness in your eyes.” He pressed his lips to my hair. “I’m not saying this to be nosy. But I like you, and I wanted to let you know that if there’s anything I can do to help you adjust to being here…”

I sighed against his chest, wriggling closer. “It’s not fair of me to ask.”

“I’m offering.”

I thought about Ben, how sad he’d looked when I’d left, and when I’d seen him in immersive. I thought about his desperate offer to find a mate just so he could be with me. I realized that I couldn’t let myself be dependent on him anymore. Ben would do anything for me, even at the cost of his own happiness. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t lock myself away in immersive with him every night or else he’d never find his own life beyond me.

“Shh…” Neal’s hand rubbed my back. “Don’t cry. Talk to me.”

His voice was gentle but concerned, and I realized my shoulders were shaking, my eyes damp. I drew a deep breath to try and control myself. “I’m sorry. I just… It’s been a rough couple of days. My twin brother is an Alpha, and I… until two days ago I thought I was a beta like you.”

Neal’s touch faltered. “You’ve never… gone into heat before? And your brother - ”

“Ben would never hurt me,” I said quickly, with certainty, despite my voice trembling. “It’s just really hard to come to terms with being separated.”

He gave a soft, understanding hum. Then he drew back to look down on me. “Was I alright? I wasn’t too rough with you, was I?”

His sweet concern warmed me, and I smiled, leaning up to kiss him softly. “Not at all, handsome. That was really good, you were exactly what I needed. Is it still okay if I stay? I just…”

Neal wrapped his arms around me again, pressing a kiss to my hair. “Of course. I like cuddly Omegas.”

I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck and breathing deep, letting the scent of him make me feel safe and protected. “And maybe more sex?”

He chuckled, low and appreciative. “Of course, sunshine. Your wish is my command.”

~~~

 

I didn’t realize Ben had replied to my message until I picked my wrist com up off the floor during the night. _’Are you all right? Message me when you get home, okay?_

I felt a surge of guilt. _’I’m fine, Ben. I’m with a friend. Please don’t worry about me. I’ll message you after your game.’_

Mere and Liv were having coffee on the balcony when I arrived home late the next morning. Mere gave a little smirk as she looked me up and down. “Come out here when you’ve changed. We should talk about school now that you can actually concentrate.”

I flushed, but nodded, disappearing inside. Once I was clean and changed, I refilled the teapot and took it out to them. “I like the school very much. I want to take as many classes as I can. Whatever will put me in the best position for the scholarship.”

Mere nodded. “Take as much of a variety of classes as you need to decide what you want to specialize in,” she said. “That’s the main purpose of these next semesters. And to develop relationships with your classmates, which you seem to have a leg up on.”

I looked down at my cup of tea, ignoring the heat in my cheeks. “I just want to focus on my studies. Relationships come second.”

“And what about Ben?”

I clenched my teeth to keep back a shudder of sorrow, taking a deep breath before answering. “Ben will be happiest if he doesn’t have to worry about me. He can’t be part of my life like I want him to be. He’ll sacrifice too much just to make me happy.”

Liv sighed softly, and nodded. “I’m sorry that you’ve had to grow up so fast, Daniel.”

I nodded, looking out across the grounds of the institution. “I can handle it.”

Mere’s eyes narrowed as she regarded me. “Before you go through all this… What do you actually want to do? Is this a distraction? I’ve already seen enough students work themselves to death doing nothing of value just forget what they are. Or are you just working until you find the first Alpha that will take you?”

The thought of it repulsed me. “No. No Alphas. I won’t be a slave to that life. I need to do something that will help change the way things are, so the question of when an Omega is going to go into heat isn’t a dangerous one anymore. I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what Ben and I did. I won’t accept that there isn’t some technology or some treatment or - something! We just have to work harder!”

“There may be,” Mere replied casually, sipping her tea. “We can’t tell you much about it until you’re officially on the project, of course. And I’d appreciate it if you don’t mention it to anyone. We’re still a few years away from human trials, but that’s chump change compared to what we’ve had to do to get here. Work hard. Work towards that scholarship and once again get you on the project I’ll read you in.”

I felt a thrill of excitement. “Thank you for having faith in me.”

She gave a little shrug. “Don’t thank me. I think you understand what needs to be done, and I think you’ll be willing to do it.

~~~~

 

Ben and I received new equipment for immersive for Christmas - new visors, gloves, and the high-tech sense jackets I'd wanted so badly that almost, almost replicated an embrace. My parents offered to come up to Metro-Boston to see me with my younger siblings, but I declined. The thought of seeing them with Ben not being there was too heartbreaking to contemplate.

Ben’s absence was still a constant loneliness of my life, though it had faded from the gripping, all-consuming loss I’d felt to a quiet ache. I’d found what I hoped was a good balance between school and Ben - I spent enough time with him to support him however he needed, while focusing on my studies enough that I could be strong for him. Or so I hoped. I could tell something was troubling him, more than just the regular stresses of school and adjusting to me not being there. I tried to encourage him to tell me about it, but at the same time knew that he would talk to me when he was ready.

Things came to a head near the end of my first semester. I could instantly tell that Ben was upset about something when I came on immersive, and I reached to take his hands in mine. “Rough day, love?”

“Rough every day,” Ben replied, giving a little shake of his head in frustration. “Daniel, what do you think about law enforcement?”

“Other than the fact that they won’t take omegas?” I smiled, though he didn’t return it. “I think it’s a noble calling. I think you’re way too smart to be a beat cop, but that’s only the beginning of what could be an interesting career path. Why the sudden interest?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while,” he admitted. “Well… I guess I should say I’ve been thinking about a lot of things for a while, this one just feels the most… right for me, maybe? When I’m done the semester I can take their aptitude tests, and if I do well enough I could get accepted to their intake program in Buffalo-Niagara.”

I raised my eyebrows. “That’s a long way from home.”

“That’s the point. Fuck, Daniel, you have no idea what it’s like without you here. Dad and I are always at odds. I can’t stay here anymore!”

The mix of pain and frustration in his voice made my heart break. “Is it really that bad?”

“I just can’t fucking forgive him for sending you away!”

“It would’ve had to happen sooner or later, you know that. We can’t legally live under the same roof past the age of eighteen.” I tried to keep my voice gentle. “It was mom’s decision, too. She was just trying to do what was best for me.”

Ben gave a soft, helpless laugh. “I can’t be mad at mom. All she does is cry. I know I shouldn’t be mad at dad either, I just…” He looked up at me helplessly. “The longer I stay here the more I hate who I’m becoming. I don’t know what else to do.”

I wrapped my arms around his waist, sighing softly at the feedback of sensation. “I didn’t realize it was that bad. I’m sorry, love. You should’ve told me.” 

Ben wrapped his arms around my shoulders and shook his head. “I didn’t want to worry you. You have your schoolwork….”

“Nothing’s more important than you,” I said truthfully. “You know I will support you no matter what, Ben. But I really do think you’ll be amazing at law enforcement. I think a new start will be exactly what you need. If there’s anything I can do, if you need help studying or anything….”

“Thank you. I just needed your blessing.” He sighed, smoothing his hand down my spine, and the warmth and sensation made me feel more connected to him than I’d ever thought possible. “Maybe I just can’t forgive that they never let us say goodbye.”

“There’ll never _be_ a goodbye for us. I promise, Ben.” I raised my head to look at him. “My every priority here is to work towards a world where I can see you again. For real. Just take care of yourself, okay? You’ll make a great cop.”

He smiled, and nodded, squeezing my shoulder. “I’ll do my best. Daniel… I’m so glad you’re happy at school.”

I could never be fully happy without him, but it wasn’t a complete lie, so I smiled. “Me too.”

~~~

I was relieved when Ben was accepted to the law enforcement intake program, though inevitably it meant far less time together. This is what he needed, though, something to focus on, and as the weeks went on he seemed happier and far more like my Ben instead of the brokenhearted, angry man he’d been so frightened of becoming.

“There’s this girl,” he said suddenly one night as we were talking. “I… I think I may like her.”

The declaration made me feel a strange combination of emotions - excitement, trepidation, and a strange shiver of jealousy. I smiled, keeping my voice calm. “At school? Tell me about her?”

Ben nodded. “Kind of. She’s in the medical examiner program. There’s been a few assignments we’ve both contributed to, and I talked to her in immersive last night…”

I felt my heart stop for a second. “She’s in Omega, then.”

“Yeah.” Ben’s brows furrowed. “She’s really sweet and really interested, I just… I don’t know.”

“Do you love her?” I asked softly.

“I don’t know? I think I could, maybe. I haven’t forgotten my promise to you. It just seems like such a huge commitment, to fall in love with her. It’s not just a question of her, it’s her and babies and registration and…”

I let my hands rest on his shoulders. “If she’s really into you she won’t mind waiting,” I said quietly. “We’re not even eighteen yet, Ben. Don’t you think you’ll make a better mate with a few years of experience under your belt? Any potential mate should appreciate you wanting to wait.”

Ben looked surprisingly relieved, and nodded. “Yes. Yes, you’re right. Thank you.” He covered one of my hands with his own, squeezing lightly. It had been strange to adjust to immersive, but the casual touch we shared more frequently here was reassuring, strengthening. “What about you, love? Are you still seeing that law undergrad?”

I shook my head. Truthfully, I’d never been as serious with him as I’d let Ben believe. I didn’t know why I wanted to keep the extent of my sexual profusions from my brother. I wasn’t ashamed of it, at least, not at school. I certainly wasn’t the only one by far to have been involved with a good chunk of my peers in the intake program and a number of postsecondary students on top that. But Neal was the only person I continued to see on a fairly regular basis, and that was probably because he still had a larger collection of lovers than I did.

“No one who makes me feel deliriously happy. But my project’s going very well. Mere says there’s no reason why my scholarship application to stay on it won’t be accepted. If we can iron out a few small bugs we can start human trials as early as next year.”

Ben knew little about the project, and no specifics, but I knew he’d understand the impact of anything that I was putting so much passion towards. He smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and squeezing tight. He was all the support I needed.

~~~


	3. Chapter 3

Leon Husselbeck

“Leon, will you stay behind for a few minutes to talk to me?”

Professor Bumstead’s request at the end of class startled me. I’d had many fantasies that had started with imagining him saying similar things, and I fought not to feel awkward or embarrassed as I packed up my things and approached the glass that divided the lecture hall. I was far more nervous that he was asking me to stay for a much less pleasant reasons. “Sir? Was my presentation okay? I know should have practiced more -”

Professor Bumstead’s eyebrows raised slightly, and he left his desk in the corner of the other side of the Hall to move closer to me. He didn’t need to - the audio system that connected the two halves of the room was excellent. “Oh? Your information and reasoning were presented extremely well. Were you unhappy with it?”

I felt my stomach flip-flop at his approach and the unexpected praise. Frank Bumstead had a strong reputation for being extremely fair and well-liked, but since I’d been accepted into the Harvard-Cambridge STEM studies intake program a year ago I'd found myself trying harder in his classes than anywhere else. I tried to tell myself that it was because he’d been the first person to make physics exciting and relatable instead of trying to force us to memorize textbooks of principles and sterile equations. But on top of being both kind and incredibly engaging, I could no longer deny that there was something about my professor that I found incredibly, intensely sexy.

I tried to find an answer to his question without sounding awkward and insecure. “I - no, sir, I’m very confident in everything I said and everything that’s in my report. I just get a little nervous speaking in front of large groups. I’m sorry.”

“I understand. That will get easier with practice.” Professor Bumstead smiled, then nodded towards the transfer point at the back of the room. “Will you come over to this side, please? I’d prefer to speak with you in person.”

I glanced towards the door and the last of my retreating classmates, then started for the transfer point. As a beta, I had full access to anywhere on the institution, but I rarely spent time in the alpha areas. Even as a child I’d always felt a little intimidated by people displaying primarily alpha tendencies, and I had an unusually well-developed sense of smell, even for a beta. It was easier for me to spend time with the Omegas even with their monthly bouts of extreme fertility than deal with how it affected me when alphas around me became aggressive or competitive - or worse. The first time I’d passed one in a mall and caught the trace of that scent that meant sexual interest I’d felt not flattered, but awkward and afraid. I knew the stereotypes of my reproductive type. I knew that betas were expected to have multitudes of meaningless, no strings attached sex, and the thought of someone expecting that from me was sickening and terrifying. I wore long sleeves almost exclusively, and with my tattoo hidden I got the impression that many of my classmates assumed I was Omega. I didn’t really care to correct them.

The transfer point read my tracking chip and let me through, and I tried to force myself to feel confident as I approached Professor Bumstead. Many of the professors tended towards more classical styles of dress, but with Professor Bumstead it was a rule. I’d never seen him in anything other than a perfectly tailored three piece suit. Today’s navy blue pinstripe was paired with a matching wool trilby that sat over a full head of dark hair that had just started to gray at the temples. As I approached I caught a hint of his scent, finding it warm and masculine and strong, but unimposing, much like the man himself. It put me at ease.

Professor Bumstead’s gray eyes studied me. “Have you decided which projects you’re going to focus on for your final semester, Leon?”

I shook my head. “I’ve been to a few of the information sessions but there hasn’t been one that’s resonated more with me then the others.” I looked up at him hopefully. “Do you have a recommendation, Sir?”

The professor handed me a data tablet displaying the briefing about one of the projects. Many of the institution’s research projects were secured, and until we agreed to work on them and signed an NDA the specific details of the research was often sparse. The one he handed to me was even more so. The primary focus of the project was biomedical engineering, and between that and the lack of detail I’d passed it by completely. “Tell me what you think of that one.”

I skimmed the words again. “There’s not enough information here to form an opinion. I haven’t been intending to pursue biomedical, so I didn’t really pay any attention to it. Is there something more you can tell me about it, sir?”

“Not about project specifics. But come have a seat.” He returned to his desk, taking another chair back beside it for me and sitting down, waiting for me before continuing. “The project head is a friend of mine, Doctor Meredith Schreber. I’ve consulted quite a bit on it for her in the past, so it’s very dear to me. It’s one of the projects I help mentor for the final semester students. It’s seen enough success so far that they’ll be ramping up over the next few years. She’s asked me to make some recommendations of students who have your particular aptitudes. And I know they’ve received the budget to award at least two full scholarships next year. I think you’d find it engaging, if you’re willing to give it a try.”

I remembered studying twentieth century economics and the impact that inflated tuition costs had on the world’s technological advancement as well as the economy. If I’d been born then, I would have never been able to afford anything like the program I was in now, let alone Harvard-Cambridge for postsecondary. But scholarships now were just as much of a boon. The majority of study in postsecondary was through project-based learning, and a student on scholarship worked with live, high-profile projects in return for living and tuition costs and a small stipend. More importantly, most scholarship students stayed on as employees of the institution with these projects, or were awarded grants to pursue their own fields of research. The guarantee of employment in such a prestigious, well-paying institution was something I badly wanted.

“If you think that I’d be a good fit then I’m happy to check it out, sir. But I’m a little surprised you’re talking to me and not Daniel.” Sometimes it was hard not to be a little jealous of Daniel, despite how much I liked my classmate. He was Doctor Schreber’s nephew, after all. He’d been accepted to the intake program a year younger than most of us had qualified to, and continually impressed the professors with the kind of brilliant, innovative ideas I could only dream of having. And while I was good-looking enough, Daniel’s golden hair and boyish good looks were far more spectacular than my run-of-the-mill light brown locks.

“I was asked to recommend for _your_ aptitudes, Leon. Not his. I hope you know that he’ll never be a threat to you, don’t you?”

The statement through me off completely. “Sir?”

“The institution is not in the business of forcing an individual with one skillset into direct competition with another who strengths are completely different. Apples and oranges. Your precision, dedication and organization may not earn you the limelight, but they’re incredibly valuable. You’re the only student in my class that I will recommend for this project. If you’re interested.” 

I felt a warm shiver in the base of my stomach at his praise, and couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “I am. Thank you so much, sir.”

“Good.” The warmth of Professor Bumstead’s smile was almost as much of a reward as his confidence. “I’ll need to go through some things with you before I can make my formal recommendation. Do you have time now?”

“Of course.” I’d have time for you whenever, I wanted to add, but bit my tongue. “If it’s no trouble for you, of course. You don’t need to get home?”

“No,” he replied smoothly, though it seemed his smile faded little. “Now is fine.”

I was accepted to work on Doctor Schreber’s project, which was amazing for several reasons. Once I’d signed the NDA I discovered they were quite far along in a revolutionary treatment process that had already seen some success in preventing the secretion of sex pheromones. I knew that if we could further the project, any name attached to it would become extremely well-known in the scientific and medical communities. It wasn’t a golden ticket to a successful career, but it might be the closest thing.

The more immediate advantage was Frank. Professor Bumstead. The additional familiarity he’d invited when I joined the project made my heart flutter, though it was hard for me to quell the awe and admiration I felt for the man enough to remember to use his given name all the time. Even before my formal acceptance to the project he gave significant time to me outside of school hours to help me prepare for my application, then the same for the scholarship application. I knew I was incredibly lucky to have that and tried never to take his assistance for granted; as the fifth of eleven children in my family my parents had rarely found time to help me with my schoolwork or advocate for my education. My acceptance to the intake program and all of my success had been hard won.

It became second nature for me to seek Frank out on the alpha side of the school when I needed a fresh set of eyes on my work. We rarely talked about life outside of work, though I’d gotten the impression that there wasn’t much else for him. I often wondered why he’d never started a family; certainly with his distinguished good looks, intelligence and kindness, and success in the institution he could’ve had his pick of Omegas. But it wasn’t my place to ask.

Late one week we were alone in his lab, just having worked through what I hoped was a solution for one of the problems I’d been struggling with for months. Giddy with the elation of success, when Frank squeezed my shoulder in congratulations it was impossible to ignore the steady burn of attraction I felt for him that I normally fought so hard to keep buried. It made me too bold.

“We should celebrate,” I declared brashly. “Classes are out tomorrow for mid-autumn harvest, aren’t they? If you’re not going anywhere?”

Frank looked surprised. “No, I had no plans. But surely you must be going home to family?”

I snorted. “My family and I get on best when we don’t see each other. Holidays are a zoo, and I’m sure they appreciate having one less mouth to feed. My twin’s coming up to visit on Sunday, but that’s all. A bunch of us have put together an orphan’s dinner in the culinary studies building tomorrow.” I stepped closer to him, reaching up to place a hand on his arm in a way that I hoped was familiar without being intimate. “Come with me?”

For a moment I thought I could sense desire from him, something that made my heart stop for a few beats. Frank looked conflicted, and when he failed to reply I pushed a little farther. “Come on Frank. We’ve known each other long enough to have a few drinks over dinner and talk about something other than work, haven’t we?”

For a moment I thought he’d agree. Then he stepped back out of my space, crossing the room back to his desk and beginning to gather his things together a little too hurriedly. “I’m sorry, I have a mountain of assignments to grade. But I appreciate the offer. “

My heart felt like it had fallen to my toes. “Surely just an hour for dinner – “

“No!” The reply was a shade too forceful, too loud, and it stung. Frank looked immediately apologetic, turning back to me. “I’m sorry. I do appreciate the invitation, Leon. I hope you have a good time.” Then, taking his hat from the stand, he disappeared from the room.

The complete refusal left me shaken, and for a long moment I stood in the lab, feeling numb as I stared at the door he’d left through. Then I gathered my work and left, taking a lift to one of the Omega labs dedicated to my project. 

I found Daniel working late, as I knew he would be. He looked up from his workstation and greeted me with a smile as I entered. “Haven’t seen you here for a while. How are things going?”

We’d ended up dedicated to different pieces of the project - he the biomedical, myself the engineering - but for once I didn’t want to talk about work. I took a deep breath. “Do you wanna get out of here and go for a drink?”

Daniel regarded me curiously from behind the old-fashioned wire-rimmed spectacles he’d taken to wearing as a habitual fashion statement, turning his chair towards me. He’d expressed interest in seeing me outside of school in the past, but I’d always begged off; from what I knew of him, Daniel had never been inclined to anything more serious than casual trysts with those he took to bed, despite a number of them wanting more. That wasn’t my style. But for the moment I didn’t care.

“A drink would be nice,” he said slowly, then stood, stepping closer to me. “Forgive me for assuming, but… I thought you were on the same cycle as the rest of us.”

I felt myself flush. “I’m Beta.”

“Oh!” Daniel flushed darkly, which only made him more attractive, damn him. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize - I mean, I’ve never seen you change sides, or….”

“Or be slutty enough?” I smiled to show I was joking. “It’s fine. I don’t mind being mistaken. I just… it’s mid autumn, you know? I thought it would be nice to have some company. If you’re still… Interested.”

“A drink sounds great,” he replied, turning back to his workstation and shutting down what he was working on. “Shall we go down to the Midnight Lounge, or your place? We can do my place, but I still live with my aunt, and while she doesn’t care about anything I do, you might.”

The thought of my project lead knowing anything about my romantic or carnal activities made me flush. “The lounge is good for now.”

The Midnight Lounge was one of the licensed establishments owned by the institution, a segregated martini bar and restaurant. It was busier than I expected, with students and faculty celebrating the festival. It seemed the few waitstaff had been given time off; we’d need to order through the electronic system and pick up our food from the kitchen ourselves. Daniel looked around the room, then nodded towards the fireplace in the corner. “Do you want to grab that table and I’ll get drinks? Do you know what you want?”

“Ah… a Lotus Blossom. Thank you.” I settled at the table with my back to the stone fireplace with its false fire, enjoying the soft heat that radiated from it and scrolling through the menu on the display in the middle of the table. 

A few moments later Daniel returned with two martinis, setting one in front of me. “I’m trusting your judgment, so I hope these are good.”

I grinned and shrugged. “It’s sweet and goes down easy. Vodka, sake, pear purée and lychee liquor.”

Daniel smiled, lifting his glass towards me. “Sounds nice. Cheers.”

I cllinked my glass to his, then took a long swallow, focusing on the sweet burn. I looked up at him. “Food?”

He nodded, and we kept it to pleasantries as we scrolled the menu and ordered a few tapas plates. He went for two more drinks without asking, then steepled his fingers on the table in front of him. “Leon, would you like to talk about what’s troubling you, or just a no strings attached romp in the sack? I’m fine with either, but the second doesn’t really seem your style.”

I glanced down at my drink, giving a soft, helpless laugh. “You’re right. I just don’t really know what to say. I’m a kind of an idiot.”

I heard Daniel give a soft hum. “Out of all the things you are, an idiot is definitely not one of them.”

“I’ve been fixated on the same person since we were in intake. It’s pretty stupid if you ask me.”

“Does he know?”

“God no. Well, I hope not. I tried asking him for drinks today, just friendly, just for work, but he turned me down. He’s so far out of my league that I don’t even know why I tried. I’m in love with someone I can’t be with and I don’t even have the courage to say anything. Sounds pretty fucking stupid if you ask me.” The words tumbled from my lips before he could stop them, and I was surprised when Daniel reached across the table to cover my hand with his.

“Don’t feel stupid for falling in love,” he said softly. “Sometimes I wish I could.”

“You?” I looked up at him, amazed. “But there’s so many people who want you!”

Daniel glanced down, giving a laugh that was surprisingly self-conscious. “I’m not saying I don’t enjoy sex. I just don’t feel….” He let out a breath that sounded frustrated, and looked back up at me. “Tell me how you feel about him. Describe it to me.”

“Analytically?” I thought about it for a few minutes, finishing the last few drops of my martini and reaching for the second. “My heart rate increases when I see him or think about him. I feel shortness of breath, I feel… Butterflies. Nervousness, I guess, it’s kind of like that of frightened anticipation you feel right before a big test. When I’m with him he draws all of my attention, and when he returns that attention I…” I let out a long breath. “It’s beautiful. I feel so happy. I just want to be around him as much is possible even though he doesn’t feel the same way about me. I know that it’s stupid but I just can’t stop myself.”

Daniel’s smile was wistful, and he turned away to drain half his second martini in one gulp. “I’ve never felt like that. About anyone.”

The idea was so foreign that I couldn’t comprehend it. “Never? Then how do you know whether or not you want to sleep with someone?”

He glanced me over pointedly, eyebrows quirking. “Pure sexual attraction. Well, I suppose intellectual attraction is part of it, too. But that kind of just goes back to sex.” The display on the table indicated that our food was ready, and he excused himself for a moment to go get it, coming back with a bottle of white wine balanced on the serving tray as well.

I mulled over his words while I waited, then dug into one of the sliders we’d ordered. “Do you think you’re Aromantic?” I asked finally. It wasn’t a common occurrence, and those who were generally purported to not experience sexual attraction, either.

Daniel took a moment to answer, swallowing his food and taking a sip of wine. “I don’t know. Maybe for right now. It’s not that I don’t eventually want to find a mate, I do. Logically it would solve so many problems for me. Have I told you about my brother?”

I shook my head. “He’s Alpha, isn’t he?”

“Yes. We’re identical. I thought I was Beta, I didn’t start going into heat until I was well past sixteen. Being separated from him was… difficult. I guess we’ve adjusted now. But when I first came to the school, Ben told me he’d just find a mate as soon as possible so we could see each other again, and I made him promise he wouldn’t do that unless he was absolutely in completely in love with that person.” He snorted softly. “So now I feel obligated to hold myself to the same standards. But sometimes I feel like it’ll never happen for me.”

Daniel seemed unusually despondent, for what I knew of him. I moved my chair around the table to sit by him, resting a hand on his knee. “I think you just haven’t found the right person.”

“Maybe.” He didn’t seem convinced. “I’ve hooked up with a lot of people hoping that love will happen. But every time someone starts wanting to get serious I just… I almost feel the exact opposite, you know? I just feel so uncomfortable around them after that. Is that shallow of me?”

“I don’t think it’s shallow to be truthful about how you feel,” I replied. “You’re certainly braver than I am.”

“I have far less to lose by being truthful than you do,” Daniel replied, but his hand found mine under the table, giving it a squeeze.

We continued the debate as we ate, finishing a bottle of wine and picking up another to take back to my residence. My roommate had gone home for a weekend, and I relished the opportunity to have the small residence all to myself. We proceeded to get completely shitfaced in the dark on my balcony, still debating love. 

“Fuck him,” I declared boldly, finally, making a dismissive gesture with my wine glass and cursing as the liquid slopped over the edge. “Shit. I mean it, though. Fuck him if he won’t love me. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

Daniel was sprawled out along the other half of my porch settee, his legs resting up over the arm and his upper body on my lap. He half sat up to take my wine glass from me, licking along my palm to catch the drops of wine with his tongue. “Clearly.”

The tease of his tongue and the warmth of the wine in my veins made me suddenly bold, and before I knew it I wrapped an arm around his shoulders to pull him close, claiming his lips with my own. Daniel gave a low, appreciative hum into my mouth, shifting closer to me, his lips wine sweet as he returned my kisses with growing hunger.

It was exactly how I’d intended the night to go when I’d gone to find him, but despite the drunkenness I couldn’t help but feel slightly anxious. When he broke from my mouth to set the wine glasses aside, I put a hand on his chest to keep him back as I caught my breath.

“I don’t want to mislead you,” I said, suddenly more nervous, not wanting him to reject me. “I want to go to bed with you, I really do. I want hot wild messy friend sex and I don’t want to think about love, I just don’t know if you are going to want…” My throat went dry as I tried to continue. “I - I’m not….”

Daniel gave a soft, soothing sound, stroking his fingers through my hair and leaning up to kiss my forehead. “I’m completely up for hot wild messy friend sex,” he murmured, nuzzling the side of my face. “Tell me what you’re worried about, handsome.”

“I don’t top,” I blurted before I could figure out how to say it with more finesse, and felt horrified at my words. “I mean – “

“Shh.” Daniel kissed me gently, keeping me from saying more. “That’s perfectly all right. That’s why you don’t mind if people think you’re an Omega, isn’t it?” He nipped at my bottom lip, one hand smoothing down my chest, tugging at my belt. “Would you like me to make love to you, handsome boy?”

The low, throaty suggestiveness in his voice was almost as sexy as what he proposed, and I groaned, hips pushing up against his fingers as they smoothed over my cock through my pants. “I’d really like that,” I breathed, leaning in to kiss him again, stroking my hand up the inside of his thigh to return the touch. “If it’s alright with you…”

Daniel chuckled against my lips, tugging my fly open to slip his fingers inside, his caress warm through the thin cotton of my boxers. “I’d love to. Don’t worry, you’re not the first pretty boy who’s asked me to fuck him. Let’s go inside.”

I grabbed up the half empty bottle of wine, leaving the lights in my residence off apart from the one in my entryway and the small lamp on my nightstand in my room. Stopping beside the bed, I turned, still feeling a little anxious. Daniel caught my gaze as he followed me, smiling, tucking his glasses carefully into the breast pocket of his vest before reaching to pull me into his embrace. I stroked my hands up over his shoulders, enjoying his quiet confidence and feeling reassured that how good it felt to be pressed against the warm strength of his body. I moaned into his kisses as his hands smoothed over my back to cup my ass, starting to undo the buttons of his shirt and vest. “I should do this more often. Why the fuck don’t I have sex more often?”

Daniel chuckled, nuzzling my jaw, kissing and sucking at my skin as he spoke. “You’d make a lot of people very happy if you did.”

I pulled my attention from him just long enough to toss his shirt and vest over the back of my chair and shrug out of my own. “What, am I too prudish for people’s delicate sensibilities?”

Daniel chuckled, breath hot as he sucked my earlobe between his lips. He pushed my undone pants and boxers down past my thighs, hands stroking hungrily over the bare skin of my hips and ass. “Only in that they want and can’t have you. You break hearts, darling.”

In my warm, drunken state of well-being I could only laugh at Daniel’s statements. I’d been approached by more than a few of my classmates over the years had been here, but definitely not enough to warrant what he was saying. “Don’t be absurd.”

“Why would I lie? You’ve already agreed to go to bed with me.” Daniel pulled back to smile at me, aggravatingly logical, and all I could do was kiss him in response, tugging the rest of his clothes off and pulling him down into bed with me.

Laying together, we traded kisses and touch with an unhurried, drunken abandon and sensuality. The caress of Daniel’s hands left heat in their wake, and I felt like I couldn’t get enough of the feel of his skin under my fingers, trying to map his firm, lithe body with touch. We continued until we were both hard and aching, rocking together slowly, the hard length of his thick cock sliding against my stomach, brushing against my own erection. I rocked up against him a little harder as my body demanded more sensation, grinding my cock against his stomach and groaning breathlessly at the surge of pleasure it drove through me.

Daniel echoed in my moan, hands clenching on my ass to pull me against him as he returned the thrust. Then he smoothed one hand back between my thighs, fingers teasing my sex. “Still want me to make love to you, beautiful boy?”

“God, yes.” And suddenly, I didn’t want to be passive anymore. I pushed Daniel onto his back, straddling his hips and flashing him a grin as I wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock and started to sink down onto him.

“Oh!” Daniel’s hands moved to grasp my hips, laughing breathlessly as he gave a little buck up into me. “Mmm, that’s it… However you want it, handsome, you feel amazing…”

I placed my hands on his chest, biting my lip on a moan and closing my eyes to concentrate on how good it felt to be stretched open as I slowly rocked down deeper. When I’d been younger, I’d been too shy to admit how much I’d like penetration; now I reveled in it, grinding slowly on him and enjoying how the shift of his thick cock inside me sent shudders of pleasure up my spine.

Daniel’s hands rubbed and clenched at my ass, encouraging the rock of my hips and matching my rhythm with slow, smooth thrusts. “God, Leon. Fucking you is completely decadent…”

The idea he presented was almost as pleasing as what I was feeling, and I leaned forward to kiss him, groaning as my cock slid trapped between our bodies. “I should definitely have sex more often,” I breathed, hips giving a slightly harder buck on him and crying out at the resultant surge of pleasure. “Oh God, Daniel, fuck me…”

I felt him shift to press his feet on the bed, taking more control, thrusting up into me as I rocked onto him. “Like that, handsome? Give you that hot - wild, messy - “

It felt too good, too overwhelming. I sat up again, bracing my hands on his shoulders, moving harder on him, feeling almost desperate for more. I’d never been brave enough to be with an alpha, and I couldn’t help imagine how much more intense it would be than this. How much bigger he’d be locked inside me, fucking me hard, owning me completely. It was hard not to think of Frank in that moment - the way he looked at me, the way he’d kiss me, touch me, the way he smelled.….

Daniel moved one hand from my ass to curl around my cock, the added stimulation making me almost sob with pleasure. “More, please, fuck - oh God, more!” I found myself begging, hardly knowing what I was saying, just riding him hard as my body dictated. When my orgasm hit it was almost completely unexpected, and I cried out as pleasure overwhelmed me. I was aware of Daniel’s throaty groan of release as he found his peak, hips jerking up into me a few more times as he came inside me.

Cuddling into Daniel afterwards, I thought back over how good it had felt and how freeing it had been to just let go and lose myself in carnal desire. I wasn’t in love with Daniel - truthfully, there was a part of me that would probably always be a little bit jealous of him - but I found myself thinking that I liked him very much. More than that, I was thankful for him - the care that he’d taken with me, how truthful he’d been with me, the pleasure he’d given me.

And I’d hardly thought about Frank at all.

This had definitely been a good idea. I wrapped one leg over Daniel’s body, nestling my face against his hair. “So… Who are all these people who want to fuck me?”

Daniel chuckled, turning his face to press a kiss to my hair as his fingers stroked slowly up and down my back. “I could make a few introductions, if you like. Neal, for one. And let me tell you, from someone who still isn’t tired of him after around four years of fucking him: if you don’t go to bed with that beautiful man, you’re definitely an idiot.”

I felt a shiver of self-conscious excitement at the idea. “God, he’s gorgeous. You won’t be jealous? You two are kind of….” My words trailed off, remembering our earlier conversation about love.

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I was. We’re not serious, he’s just a good friend. Which is why I’m recommending his bed for all of your hot casual sex needs.” He hummed appreciatively, turning into me and wrapping both arms around me. “You’re welcome back here, too. That was really nice.”

His praise was almost as pleasing the sex had been. I leaned in to kiss him softly. “I think I’d like that. I promise not to fall for you or ask for anything serious.”

“Perfect,” Daniel murmured, kissing me again. Then he pulled back slightly. “But if I can offer a small word of advice….”

I felt a soft spike of panic. “Oh God. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, don’t worry. Well… Not with me, in any case. You just - whoever this Frank I’m assuming you’re in love with is, you might not want to think about him during sex.”

“Oh God.” I lifted a hand to cover my mouth, mortified. “How did you - did I say something out loud? I did, didn’t I. Oh God, Daniel I’m so sorry - “

“Shh…” Daniel tugged to my hand away to kiss me into silence. “I told you, don’t worry. Not about me. I appreciate the hot messy friend sex for exactly what it is. Enough that I’m still here in hopes that we’ll do it again in a bit.” He quirked one eyebrow, a little hopeful smile on his lips. “Yes?”

I still felt mortified, but I tried to take comfort in the logic of his words. “Yes,” I agreed. "So I can make it up to you.”

Daniel’s hands smoothed down over my ass, squeezing and pulling me closer. “By letting me fuck you again? Deal.” His next kiss was longer, promising, his voice lowering and sending a shiver of desire through me. “If you’d like to entice me, I can do that again right now.”

~~~

 

**Larry Bryne**

Looking back on everything I learned as a child - the history of the world, how humanity had changed, and developed the reproductive types - I couldn't help but think that I'd gotten lucky. Betas like me were clearly the lucky third of the population. 

Being infertile had never been such a blessing. With mated Alpha-Omega couples having literal litters of children the birth rate was safe enough. And we Betas could go wherever, do whoever and whatever we wanted. We could even adopt unwanted children, if we were mated. In a world where everything was dictated by segregation laws, we were the only ones who could feel truly free.

When I’d finally been officially classified as Beta on my seventeenth birthday I’d made tracks to my best friend’s house, letting myself in the front door and waving to his twin, Anna. Neither were old enough for their official designation, but they were fairly certainly both Betas - twins were normally the same. Then I made tracks to John’s bedroom.

John looked up with me with an expectant grin as I opened the door, pushing the text books and papers were sitting around him on his bed onto the floor. “So? Are you set for life, Red?”

John’s nickname for me was due to the shock of red hair and matching freckles I sported. I shut the door behind me, flicking the latch. His parents wouldn’t be home for another two hours, and Anna was used to our shenanigans. Then I held out my palm towards my dark-haired friend to show him the neatly healing incision on the inside of my left wrist from where they’d upgraded my identification chip earlier in the day. Above that was a neatly tattooed black ‘B’. “I can officially go anywhere I want and fuck anybody I want to.”

John caught my hand with a grin, drawing me close and insistently pulling me down on top of him on the bed. His green eyes flashed with a combination of desire and good humor. “Finally. You’re gonna fuck me first, right?”

I grinned, claiming his mouth in a warm kiss as I caught his hands in mine and pushed them above his head on the bed, pinning him in place. “Are you saying blow jobs and anal haven’t been good enough?”

John rolled his hips up against me with an appreciative moan, sucking my full lower lip between his. “I’m saying that if we’re both going to be amazingly, irredeemably slutty for little rest of our lives that we should logically pop every cherry together. And that of you’re the only one of my fuck buddies legally cleared to actually fuck me. I’m tired of fingers and sex toys.”

I loved fooling around with John, and as a hormone laden seventeen-year-old who just been given permission to have as much sex as he wanted without consequence there was nothing I wanted more than to take full advantage of it as soon as possible. I rocked against him slowly, indulging in a warm, deep kiss that quickly turned more heated. “Then I suppose we should celebrate my official designation, shouldn’t we?”

As a Beta, there was really only one concern with serious consequences. We alone could control our pheromones, which meant we could choose to attract a mate, and if we tried hard enough we would send anyone in our vicinity into an intense sexual frenzy. If we misused this ability, any person with a high enough concentration of our pheromones in their bloodstream could charge us with coercion, with serious repercussions. But that was easy enough to avoid. Why would we need to coerce when we had dozens of willing partners?

I’d let my pheromones activate fully only once, with John, just to see what it was like. It was an overwhelming, frightening experience. I'd ended up begging him to fuck me like an Omega - I generally preferred topping , or anal sex - and despite how satisfying the sex was and how blisteringly hot the whole encounter had been, I’d felt so completely not myself throughout the entire experience that I knew I’d never do it again.

Neither John nor I had any desire to be mated - to each other, or anyone else. I had enough good friends and willing sex partners, and it was always easy to find more. I was attracted purely to men, and preferred the company of Betas, who tended to be more carefree and playful in bed - why wouldn’t we be? - and Omegas, who tended towards a quiet submissiveness that I found irresistible.

John had as much of a weakness for Alpha men as he did for Betas, loving to submit as much as he loved to fuck. He’d even slept with a few Alpha females. He tried to sell me on it on several occasions - sex with an Alpha, knotting - but I’d always felt a little intimidated by Alphas in my youth. Being officially designated Beta felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I’d never have to submit to anyone I didn’t want to. Finally I could interact and form friendships with Alphas without the looming possibility of a relationship making me feel self-conscious.

And if I perhaps desired one of those friendships a lot more than I should, well… No one had to know about that.

When I enrolled in law enforcement, I was paired to room and train with a gorgeous Alpha male named Ben Carson. In law enforcement, Alphas and Betas were paired together as a rule: we tended to help control and temper any Alpha aggressions, and having two unmated Alphas work together in close quarters for long periods of time was always risky. But Ben didn’t need tempering. He was calm and strong and self-assured without any of the loud, cocksure egoism many Alphas fell into. He was bloody gorgeous on top of that, with blond hair, blue eyes, a gorgeous smile, and the kind of built, toned body that made me want to beg to be pounded into the mattress. But I always kept careful control of myself around him.

As much as I wanted him, I loved him as a friend more, and I wasn’t willing to jeopardize the successful partnership we had with sex. We worked incredibly well together during training, and had full plans to continue as partners after we left the Academy. More than that, I enjoyed my time with him. We shared many of the same interests even outside of law enforcement - music, movies, hockey. Many Alphas looked down on our sexual excess, but Ben treated me like there were no differences between us, and I found myself choosing his company over time with my lovers more and more. I loved how I felt and who I was when I was with him. The thought of ruining that with sex was heartbreaking.

In any case, the Betas he brought home were always women. I forced myself not to be jealous. I just had to make sure to always go out when he did.

I met John in front of the segregated singles bar near the Academy residences one night when Ben was already out, in the mood where I wanted very much to find a good-looking Beta man who’d be willing to fuck me into the mattress. I pulled John to me and gave him a warm kiss in greeting. “Don’t suppose you’re feeling dominant tonight, are you? We could save ourselves some time and just go home together.”

John gave an appreciative hum, but stepped back. “Sorry, Red. I’m really in the mood for a big strong Alpha tonight. Why don’t you come with me and try one?”

I chuckled, shaking my head and heading towards the entrance to the Omega half of the bar. “Nah, I’m not enough of a size queen for that. But come over to this side and have a drink with me before you take off with anyone, okay?”

“Promise,” John replied, giving me a wink before heading into the other half of the bar.

I’d had a few drinks with friends and acquaintances and was still sizing up my options when John sauntered over through the electronic gates that separated the two sides of the bar, drink in hand. He hooked an arm around my waist and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I think I’m going to go home with a friend now. I’ll see you again soon?”

I drained my drink and set it aside before returning his embrace. “Of course. Have a good night, you little size queen.”

John’s smirk was almost devilish, and from the look in his green eyes I could tell his thoughts were already far more focused on sex than on me. “Oh, I will. Oh! Your roommate is on the other side. I promised I’d send you over to say hi.”

“Oh?” I wasn’t particularly comfortable meeting up with Ben while he was on the prowl, but it would be rude not to say hi. “Okay, thanks. I’ll go find him now.”

Bidding goodbye to John at the door, I passed my wrist over the scanner and stepped into the Alpha side of the establishment, quickly spotting my roommate at the other end of the bar. He had eyes only for the blonde woman in front of him, and was standing possessively close to her, one arm looped around her waist.

The memory of her face came back to me with a shock, and I felt my blood run cold. I’d met this woman a few weeks ago, after spending the night in multiple rounds of sex with a gorgeous, playful Omega named Jeremy. I would’ve been happy to continue the same for the rest of the day, but he’d begged off; he’d promised his twin that he take her to the abortion clinic. 

The same woman who was currently hanging off my partner.

I’d heard rumors of this. Omegas that could somehow alter their identification chips and cover their tattoos to hide their true nature. Who blackmailed Alphas for money before getting abortions. Or for child care. I’d always assumed that it was sensationalist propaganda spread by the abstinent religious. The thought that it might be real chilled me to the bone.

I shoved my way through the crowd to him. “Ben, get away from her. I know her, she’s Omega. How the hell did you get in here?”

The girl took a nervous half step away from me, closer to Ben. “What you talking about? I’m a Beta, just like you.”

“The sexiest little Beta I ever laid eyes on,” Ben murmured, obviously enthralled, leaning in to nuzzle her hair.

“No! You’re Jeremy’s twin. I know you’re an Omega, I saw him take you to the clinic. What kind of a fucking game are you playing?” I grabbed Ben’s arm, trying to pull him away from her. “Ben! Get a hold of yourself!”

“Lar, I’m fine,” he replied, not taking his eyes off her. “I’m just fine, I’m perfectly fine…”

“You’re pheromone-addled!” She wasn’t quite in heat, but standing next to her, I could smell it on her. I could imagine what it was doing to him. I realized that no amount of convincing would be able to clear Ben’s mind, and in a panic I did the one thing I’d told myself I’d never do again.

Summoning every minute of remembered desire, I cranked my pheromones to full, pressing against Ben’s side. I felt him stiffen, body responding as they registered. “Leave her, Ben. Come home with me.”

“You can’t do that!” The girl started pulling on his arm. “He’s mine!”

“Go pray on someone else! Come on, Ben. I’m safe, come home with me.”

Ben finally turned his gaze to me, his breath coming faster as he stroked one hand down my back to cup my ass. Still, he looked conflicted. “Lar, I shouldn’t….”

A tall Alpha woman turned from the bar to step into my space. “If he doesn’t want you, I’d be more than happy to take care of you, honey.”

Panic and adrenaline spiked through me as I realized exactly what I’d done and how stupid I’d been, doing this in a bar full of Alphas. “Ben, please! Take me home, please, I need you!”

“You need to stay right here,” said another voice behind me, and I yelped in terror.

“Not a chance,” Ben growled, arm tightening around my waist, abandoning the Omega girl and yanking me towards the exit.

As soon as we were free of the crowd Ben broke into a run, towing me towards the nearest available lift. I stumbled after him, dizzy with relief and desire, gasping as he shoved me up against the inside of the lift for a hard, demanding kiss. Somehow he had enough sense to scan his chip and hit the button for home, but all I could think about was him - how good he smelled, how strong and hard his body felt against mine. I was already fully erect, my need for him more overwhelming than I’d ever felt before. I wanted to yield completely to his kisses and his passion, I wanted to go down on my knees and beg for him to fuck me. I gasped for breath as his mouth left mine to ravage my neck, biting down at the crook of my shoulder. “Oh God, Ben! Need you so bad, need your cock – “

He gave a hard thrust against me, erection straining against the front of his pants. In response I wrapped one thigh around his hip, whimpering as I tried to rut up against him and grind my cock into his stomach. My pulse pounded frantically against my eardrums, every inch of my body burning and aching for sensation. The fabric between us felt like torture. I began to claw at his shirt. “Ben!”

The lift chimed as it arrived at our living unit, and Ben yanked me inside, pulling my shirt off up over my head as he shoved me back against the wall beside the door. “Mine,” he growled, catching my mouth again, nipping and sucking at my lips and tongue as his hands went to my belt. 

I kicked off my shoes and was already yanking his pants undone, pulling them down around his hips so I could wrap my fingers around the thick girth of his cock. “Oh God. Fuck me, please Ben, fuck me hard –“

“Gonna fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk straight,” he snarled, yanking my jeans down. I managed to kick one foot free, wrapping my thigh over his hip, my cock grinding against his abs as his pressed against the slick heat of my sex. Ben’s growl was completely primal as he grabbed my other thigh and lifted me, bracing me against the wall and sheathing himself in me with one hard thrust.

I yelped at the sudden surge of sensation, the pleasure of yielding to him overwhelming the discomfort of being taken so savagely. I wrapped my arms tight around his shoulders, fingers digging into his back as my head fell back against the wall. “Fuck, Ben! God yes, fuck me!”

The pleasure I felt as I rocked against him was overwhelming, pheromones intensifying every sensation. Every thrust of his hips sent a shock of simulation up my spine, my cock hard and leaking precum against his abs. When his knot started to swell inside me, I couldn’t help but clench around him, crying out into his mouth as I sucked on his lips and tongue desperately. My body reacted instinctively, locking down around him despite being stretched almost painfully tight, the intensity of it all driving me towards orgasm at breakneck speeds. When climax overwhelmed me I cried out, clenching around his cock almost painfully as waves of pleasure washed through my body. Ben’s fingers dug into my hips as he rocked against me, trying to press even deeper, and I heard him curse as he pulsed inside me and came, heat flooding inside me.

As my pheromone driven need faded and my body ran out of adrenaline the enormity of the situation hit me. Of what I’d done to my friend, to the person I knew now that I loved most in the world. I tightened my arms around his shoulders, trembling as I buried my face in his neck and tried to catch my breath. “Oh God. Oh my God, Ben. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please forgive me, I – “

“Shhh….” Ben moved his face to nuzzle my hair, his voice a soft, reassuring murmur. Wrapping his arms securely under my hips, he sank down to his knees carefully, cradling my body with his own against the wall. “Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay….”

“It’s not okay! I…. I –“ I couldn’t bring myself to say the word. “I coerced you!” I felt a sob escape my lips despite my attempts to hold it back, and suddenly everything broke free in a flood of tears. I felt too vulnerable, pressed against him with the ache of his cock still locked inside me, my body exhausted from lovemaking. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry….”

“Shhh, Lar, it’s okay, it’s okay….” Ben caught my face in his hands, his lips soft and warm as he pressed kisses to my tears, my nose, my lips. “It’s okay. You didn’t coerce me.”

“That is exactly the definition of what I did,” I shot back through clenched teeth, trying to stop myself from shaking.

“Well, I don’t feel coerced!” He drew back just enough to meet my gaze, voice low and firm. “Larry, listen to me. Listen to me. I’m not angry. I’m thankful. I’m so grateful to you for looking after me and for risking so much to protect me. And I really, really fucking enjoyed having sex with you. Please don’t cry, okay? We’re all right. Just breathe deep. Everything’s going to be okay.”

I drew a deep breath as he asked, closing my eyes to concentrate on it and feeling my body slowly start to relax. It made his cock easier to bear, and I relaxed more into his arms, closing my eyes and burying my face in his neck. “I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t realize how vulnerable I’d feel.”

Ben nuzzled my hair, fingers stroking soothingly over my arms and sides. “What you mean?”

I let out a long breath. “I…. I’ve never done this with an Alpha before.”

Ben gave a soft moan of dismay, kissing my temple, arms tightening around me again. “God, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

I managed to nod, trying to concentrate on the warm pleasure of his attention and not the discomfort of my body. “I - I think so. I will be. How long does it normally last?” 

Ben’s hands smoothed down to my thighs, rubbing gently at my tense muscles as his lips found mine again. Despite being exhausted, it felt really good, and a soft wave of arousal washed over me. He reached behind him to push off my jeans and boxers where they still clung to one calf. “I can make it easier for you,” he murmured between soft kisses. “May I?”

His attention was too sweet, too loving, and I had to fight back another sob at how good it felt. “Please,” I managed to whisper, losing myself to his kisses again.

Ben’s hands felt amazing on my body, slowly rubbing and massaging every bit of me that he could touch, and I felt my body relaxing a little around him as my erection began to return. He curled his fingers around my cock, stroking gently, encouraging me. “That’s it, love. Just let me take care of you.”

I kissed him harder, loving the gentleness of his words too much. “No talking. More sex.”

He chuckled softly, keeping my request and sucking gently at my bottom lip as he continued to stroke my cock. Soon enough I was hard again, craving more sensation, and I braced my feet on the floor so that I could shift and rock against him, the slight movement of his cock inside me bringing pleasure again despite the discomfort. I understood, now, what John had tried to explain to me. How being tied to an Alpha was overwhelming like nothing else could be. “Oh God, Ben….”

Ben gave a low moan into my mouth, free hand rubbing over my ass but staying still otherwise, giving me complete control. “God Lar, you feel so good. So very, very good…”

Let’s do this forever, wanted to say. I wanted so badly to be with him, to be his mate. To let him fuck me into exhaustion every night and every day. I bit my lip on my words, grinding against him little harder. “Oh fuck yes. So fucking good, Ben! Fuck!”

Ben mouthed kisses along my jaw, finally starting to rock with me again, his breath hot on my skin. “Do you think you can come for me again, love?”

I wanted nothing more, now trembling from need as I rocked against him a little faster. “Oh God, please….”

Ben’s fingers moved over faster on my cock, slick from my earlier climax, the pad of his thumb rubbing over my weeping tip with each stroke. “Come on, gorgeous. Want you to come all over me, gonna make you feel so good….”

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the door, riding the edge and reveling in the intensity of pleasure I felt. With a gasping sob my body gave in, clenching and fluttering around his cock as I came in his fingers. Ben gave a low, almost relieved sounding groan, not letting up the slow rock of his hips until I felt him tense against me and come again, holding me tight as he spent himself inside me.

Still, Ben made no move to pull away from me, pressing slow, warm kisses to my lips as my body slowly calmed. I could feel him start to soften, the intensity of sensation finally waning. Eventually I forced myself to shift away, aching from the passion of our sex but still feeling empty without him inside me.

Ben’s arms tightened around me, keeping me from standing up, and he sighed as he broke from my lips. “I know I don’t have the right to ask this, but… I’d really like it if you stayed with me tonight.”

Despite my better judgment, I felt a flicker of hope. Maybe I hadn’t completely wrecked things between us. And the thought of going to bed alone was heartbreaking. “I’d really like that,” I managed to reply, letting the warmth of his smile sooth me.

It was nice, to let Ben fuss over me, bundling me into the shower with him and then into his bed. I was too exhausted to even think about sex, but I still reveled in the pleasure of his body against mine and the feel of his bare skin under my fingers.

Ben pulled me close against his chest, taking my head under his chin with his arms wrapped securely around me, and as I drifted off to sleep I let myself indulge in the lie of believing that he was mine.

~~~


	4. Chapter 4

Daniel Carson

I didn’t end up seeing Leon very often, which was fine by me - topping wasn’t something I chose to do often, in any case. We did become far better friends, though, and I enjoyed seeing him come out of his shell. We never spoke about the mysterious Frank again, and though Leon ended up dating a few of his sexual conquests, I don’t think they ever lasted more than a few weeks. I couldn’t help but wonder if he still felt that same magical love that he’d described to me that night in the bar.

It still eluded me.

“I think I’m in love,” Ben said one night as we spoke on immersive. He seemed anything but happy about it, though.

I wrapped my arm around his and took his hand, enjoying the false contact and hoping to soothe him with it. “Tell me about her?”

Ben looked away, chewing on his bottom lip. “Him.”

“Your roommate?”

My brother laughed softly, helplessly. “How did you know?”

I smiled, stroking his shoulder with my free hand. Ben had always spoken fondly of his roommate and partner in the Academy, since they’d been assigned in residence together almost two years ago. It was the first time I’d seen my brother develop such an affinity for someone so quickly. I’d been a little jealous of it, at first. But I’d gotten over that. Seeing Ben happy and content brought me too much joy to feel jealous for long. “I know you,” I told him, leaning into him a little. “I’ve known from the way you’ve talked about him for quite a while, Ben.”

He gave a soft huff. “Well, I wish I’d known. I mean, I’ve always felt really close to him, I just didn’t think I was sexually into guys, you know?”

I nodded. “What happened?”

“Brought a girl home last night.” Ben looked off into the distance, restlessly stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. “Ridiculously hot little beta, all long legs and short red hair. I couldn’t stop thinking about him while I was blowing her. Or fucking her. It kind of made it hotter.”

I found the thought of it more appealing than I probably should have. “Have you told him yet?”

Ben shook his head, fingers tightening on mine. “I don’t know, Daniel. I don’t think he’s into alphas. I’ve never seen him bring one home, he’s normally out with omegas.”

“Are you sure? He might not want to bring home another alpha with you in the house.” It seemed logical to me.

Ben shook his head again. “I just don’t know. I don’t even know if he feels the same way about me. God, I feel so nervous and ridiculous about it, I don’t even know what I’d say. I don’t wanna fuck this up, Daniel. I feel like he gets me. I haven’t felt so good being with someone since…” He stopped, glancing away.

“Since I left?” I asked softly, turning into him more to look at him. “Ben. I want you to be happy. I want it more than anything else in the world.”

“I don’t want to be happy without you in my life,” he replied softly, voice anguished. “I don’t deserve…”

“Hush. You deserve every happiness, and I _am_ here. I’ll always be here. Look, you don’t have to do anything now. Just think about it for a while. I think the right time to confess your feelings will present itself. Okay? You can talk to me about it whenever you want.”

Ben took my other hand in his, squeezing gently. “Thank you. Are you sure?”

“Of course.” I smiled returning the squeeze. “After all, I have a very vested interest in wanting to see you with a mate.”

The knowledge of Ben’s feelings was an encouragement in the back of my mind as I went about my work. What I didn’t expect was his panicked message mid-way through the afternoon a week later.

_’I really need to talk to you as soon as possible. Are you free?’_

The urgency worried me. _‘Now? I can duck out of work at six…’_

_’Six is fine. I’m still in class. Thank you, love.’_

He was already waiting for me when I came on immersive, pacing, agitated. I caught his arm as he passed, stopping him. “Ben?”

He turned to look at me helplessly. “Daniel, I fucked up. Oh God, I fucked up.”

I shook his hand in both of mine. “Tell me about it?”

“I - “ Ben swallowed hard, looking away, his breath in short gasps. “I forced myself on him.”

“ _What?_ ” The statement was so completely unexpected and unfathomable that I couldn’t take it in. “Back up. Start at the beginning. Take a deep breath before you hyperventilate and pass out.”

Ben gave a soft, broken laugh, but visibly forced himself to calm his breathing. “I went out to a bar. I met a girl, she was… I thought she was a beta, I thought she was just enticing me. I was too enthralled to realize she was an omega on the cusp of going into heat.”

“Oh my God.” I stared at him in horror. I’d heard tales, of course, of black market machines that could temporarily alter or change out one tracking chip for another. But the thought that someone would use it to knowingly ensnare another person…. “What happened?”

Ben swallowed again. “Larry was at the bar, he recognized the girl and came to help me. I didn’t realize until he was at my side, trying to break the thrall. I couldn’t listen to him. So he…” Ben rubbed a hand across his face, briefly obscuring the projection of his features.

“He coerced you get you away?” I asked softly, and Ben nodded.

“I knew that I shouldn’t, but I wanted him so badly, Daniel. And I couldn’t say no, _I couldn’t control myself!_ He’d never even been with an alpha before, and I, I - “

“Shh…” I stepped close to him, moving my free hand up and down his arm in an effort to calm him. “Is he home with you now?”

“God no. He left to see a friend after class.”

“Have you talked to him about it? Does he seem upset with you? Try to think about this logically, love. I know you feel anything but.”

He drew a deep breath, and let it out in a sigh. “We kind of talked. He was really upset and felt really guilty about what he’d done. I think I managed to talk him down. He stayed and slept with me. It felt so good to have him with me. I just can’t stop feeling guilty about it, Daniel. I knew it was wrong, but in the moment all I could think about was wanting to… all I could feel was that he was finally mine.”

I made a soft, soothing noise, still rubbing his arm. “Ben, no law keeper in the world would charge you with assault. Regardless of how you felt, you were still coerced.”

“He was only helping me. He wasn’t - “

“I’m just saying, love. You need to stop beating yourself up over it and talk to him.” I put every ounce of conviction I could muster into my voice. “ _Tell him how you feel._ ”

Ben gave a soft, whimpering noise, shaking his head. “I can’t - I can’t do that. I can’t be that possessive, asshole alpha, I won’t - “

“You won’t be,” I tried to reassure him. “But you can’t just sweep this under the rug. If you don’t talk to him it’s going to fester and drive a wedge between you two. Please, Ben. If you really do love him…”

I watched him take in my words, sighing. “I’ll think about it, I guess.”

“I know you’ll do the right thing. You’re a good man, Ben.”

“I hope so,” he said softly.

~~~

 

**Larry Bryne**

I made tracks to meet with John after classes were over the next day, making some half-hearted excuse to Ben. We hadn’t spoken about what had happened the night before, but I could feel it sitting heavy between us. I was terrified that if we talked about it that I wouldn’t be able to hide from him how I really felt. And if he knew that I wanted him, that my actions in the bar hadn’t been completely unselfish, how the hell would he feel about that?

“Hey sexy. You okay?” John met me at the entrance to the University Arts building where he was studying to be, as he put it, “a Thespian of the Highest Degree”. It was common for Betas to find careers in public facing jobs like services and the arts. It was safer, for us. And while it wasn’t legal to discriminate against someone because of their reproductive identity, an employer could come up with a hundred reasons for why a Beta or even Alpha candidate was a better fit for a position than an Omega.

I pulled him close and sagged against him, burying my face in his neck and wishing it could hide me from the world. “I fucked up,” I mumbled, feeling a shudder of dismay race through me. “Oh god, John. I fucked up bad.”

His arms tightened around me. “Come inside with me. We can go hide in the sound booth and you can tell me all about it.”

I’d visited his theater many times and seen him in several productions in the two years he’d been enrolled. We slipped through the doors to the middle, unsegregated portion of the theater and up a narrow flight of stairs into the soundbooth. John latched the door behind us before moving to flop down on the threadbare couch at the back of the booth. “Come here, tell daddy all about whatever you’re all tied up in knots about.”

I winced at his choice of terminology, sinking to the cushions beside him. “It’s not funny, John. I fucking coerced my roommate.”

Laughter fading from his eyes, John tugged me to him. “Tell me what happened.”

It was easy to let the words spill out in the familiarity of his embrace. How panicked I’d been when I’d seen the girl in the bar and _known_ what she was trying to pull and what I’d done to try and protect him. How intense the sex had been and how terrible I felt about it all.

I didn’t expect that John would react the way he did. “Well, regardless of how it happened it’s about fucking time you two hooked up.”

I jerked away. “What the hell does that mean?”

John rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an idiot. I know you’re crazy about him. You never shut up about him. And he’s obviously pretty fond of you. I’ve been trying to get you to bang him for months, you know.”

I closed my eyes, shaking my head. “Oh god. This isn’t happening.”

John stroked my arm soothingly. “Look. Obviously he doesn’t have an issue with what happened. You just need to stop beating yourself up over it. I know Ben, I know how close you two are. Why don’t you just keep fucking him? I told you you’d like it.”

“But I’m in love with him.” The words spilled from my lips with a soft sob. “John, I’m so afraid of what he’d think if he found out. What if I get jealous next time he brings someone home? Oh God, what if I do this again?”

“You and I both know that you wouldn’t,” John replied firmly. “God, Larry, just talk to him. Maybe he liked it too. Anyone would be an idiot not to enjoy fucking you, I should know. “

“You really don’t think I’ll just fuck things up more?”

“I know you won’t. And I’m telling you this knowing that if you get serious with him I’m going to lose my best casual fuck buddy, so you also have to tell him that if he hurts you he’s going to have to deal with me.”

I laughed softly despite myself, leaning into him. “Thanks, John.” I knew I couldn’t take his advice, but his carefree optimism still made me feel better. I had to just put everything we’d done out of my mind and pretend it never happened. It was the only way that my friendship with Ben could survive.

I hung out with John for a few more hours, doing some reading for my own classes and watching him rehearse. Finally I caught a lift home, still dreading the possibility of having to talk to Ben but not wanting to avoid him any longer.

When I stepped in the door of our residence I was shocked to see two uniformed officers standing in the kitchen, talking to Ben. He gave me a warm smile instantly, holding an arm out to me. “There you are, darling. How’s your friend?”

I let him pull me close and kiss me, thoughts racing. I hadn’t told Ben where I was going. He must be covering for something. I trusted him enough to play along. “He’s great. Is everything okay?”

“Of course. The officers were just following up on a concern that there’d been a coercion at the bar last night. Seems silly with how long we’ve been involved, right?”

My blood ran cold at the thought of a complaint, and I tried to keep my voice calm, holding to Ben for support as much as for the charade. “Yeah. Pretty much since we started at the academy, right? Ben’s been really good to me.”

Ben nodded. “We have an open relationship but as you can see we’re quite serious. Now, I think Larry should tell you what he knows about the Omega girl who snuck into my side of the bar last night….”

The Alpha of the two officers, an older, dusky skinned woman, regarded me, and I tried not to wilt under the intensity of her gaze. “Your tracking records indicate you don’t engage in sexual activity with Alphas.”

“Why would I go looking for another Alpha when I have the perfect one at home?” I replied evenly. “I think you should be more concerned with the fact that an Omega’s managed to manipulate her chip. I slept with her twin a few weeks ago, an Omega named Jeremy, look back at my tracking records and you’ll find him. I’d bet money that you’ll discover a suspicious number of ended pregnancies.”

“We’ll look into it,” said the Beta officer, but the Alpha frowned.

“You need to be tested,” she said to Ben flatly. “If there’s been a coercion it needs to be dealt with.”

Ben returned her gaze with an aggression I’d never seen in him, and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “I’ll kindly ask you not to threaten my lover in our own home, officer. You can’t test me if I have no desire to press charges. I’m telling you that no coercion took place. Thank you for your concern.”

For a moment I worried that things would escalate, but the Alpha officer finally broke eye contact with him to look away. “Of course. We’ll contact you if we need any more information about your rogue Omega claim. Don’t leave town.”

“You’ll know where we are,” Ben replied, letting go of me to head back to the front door. The Beta officer scanned her chip, and in moments a law enforcement lift had arrived to take them away.

As soon as the door closed behind them I sank down weakly into a kitchen chair, a shudder of relief running through me. “Oh my god. Thank you.”

Ben moved back to stroke a hand over my hair, and I leaned into the touch despite my better judgment. “No need to thank me,” he said quietly, fingers stroking through my hair again and again. “Please tell me you were actually with a friend tonight?”

I nodded. “Just to talk though, we didn’t have sex.” The words were past my lips before I had a chance to wonder why I felt the need to clarify myself to him. “They believed us, didn’t they?”

“Of course they did, but that doesn’t matter.” Ben’s hand smoothed down to cup the back of my neck. He had the same kind intensity in his eyes as he looked down on me as when he’d spoken to the cops, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, Lar.”

For a moment I couldn’t think to reply, wanting him so badly that I couldn’t trust my words. Finally I swallowed hard, taking a deep breath to clear my head, and nodded. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

He smiled, but stepped away, leaving my skin cold without the warmth of his hand. “Have you eaten? I can make you something.”

“I’m good,” I replied, forcing myself to my feet. I needed to step away before I got any more emotional in front of him. “I really just need to call it an early night. I’m sorry. Yesterday took a lot out of me.”

“Oh. All right.” Was it my imagination, or did his smile seem sad? “Have a good night then, I guess.”

 

I came home with him after class the next day but disappeared into my room immediately, changing out of my trainee uniform and into something designed to make the boys drool. I needed to get my mind off Ben, and badly. If I couldn’t find a Beta willing to fuck me I was almost willing to go home with another Alpha.

“You’re going out?” Ben sounded surprised almost hurt. He’d started taking out fixings for dinner, and I felt a surge of guilt.

“I’m sorry. I just… I kind of need clear my head, you know?”

Ben glanced down, well-shaped lips shifting against each other. “Yeah. Sorry. I guess I’m just feeling a little… selfish.”

“Selfish?” The idea was so completely unexpected that I didn’t know how to react.

“Don’t worry about it, Larry. I appreciate what you did for me, I’m so thankful. I won’t place any more demands on you.”

Pulse racing, I stepped closer to him, reaching out to rest a hand on his arm. “What do you mean, demands?”

Ben looked up at me suddenly, a dark fierceness in his eyes that took my breath away. “Ones I have no right to ask. I won’t let myself get possessive over you. I don’t want to be an asshole Alpha about this. Look, I know it wasn’t your choice to sleep with me and I know you don’t like Alphas and god knows I’d change what I am if I could. I fucking hate the way we are. Can you please not hold that against me?”

I stared at him numbly. “Hold it against you?” 

He snorted, looking away. “It’s okay. I get it, we’re dangerous. Do you think I don’t know how people feel about Alphas? Fuck, my own parents sent my twin away when we hit puberty because they were _afraid of what I’d do to him._ ” 

I watched his jaw clench as he spat the last words out, the pain so obvious that I couldn’t help but pull him into my embrace. “Daniel’s _Omega_? I’m sorry, I – I didn’t know.”

Ben’s fingers dug into my back, and I could feel his frame shaking with repressed emotion. “Please don’t be afraid of me, Lar. I’m sorry about what happened. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. Please don’t hate me.”

His pain made my heart fall to pieces. “Oh god, Ben. I don’t – I could never hate you. You didn’t hurt me and – fuck, none of this is your fault.” I pulled back to take his face in my hands. “It’s not your fault. And I – I _wanted_ to sleep with you. I’ve wanted to for a long time. I’m sorry.”

Ben wet his lips, hesitating for a moment. He smoothed his fingers up my shoulder, fingertips hesitantly brushing my cheek. “You… You don’t sleep with Alphas.”

“I never said that,” I replied quietly, my breath coming faster. “I’ve just never cared about one enough to want to sleep with him before. But I didn’t think you liked men.”

“I like you,” Ben replied, the same fierceness coming back into his gaze. He slid his fingers up into my hair, pressing more firmly against me, free hand warm on the small of my back. “I’ve always liked you. Don’t go tonight. Stay with me. I want you here.”

I whimpered softly, wanting nothing more than to give into my desire to lose myself in his arms. “Ben, I don’t think I can do this. I like you too much. I can’t submit to you and watch you with other people, I -“

“Shhh…” Ben leaned in to kiss me, his lips sweet and warm against mine. Adoring. “You won’t have to. I know you’ll still want to bed Omegas, and I’m okay with that. But if you’ll have me, all I need is you.”

I realized suddenly how much I’d wanted to hear him say those things, and I sagged against him, returning his kiss with desperate need. “I want you to claim me,” I hissed, arching up against him instinctively and moaning at the flood of desire it sent through me. “I want you more than anyone I’ve ever met, it’s why I’ve been so afraid to be with you. But are you sure you want this? I can’t have children for you, I….”

He chuckled softly against my mouth, fingers stroking through my hair. “That’s not important to me. Not every Alpha lives to breed like a rabbit.”

“Thank god,” I breathed, kissing him again. The elation of his revelation and the relief that things were going to be alright were a powerful aphrodisiac, and I wanted him badly – a clear minded, joyful desire that was nothing like the feral need I’d felt for him before, driven and addled by pheromones.

Ben’s hands slid down to cup my ass, kissing me deep and warm and yearning. “Can I cook for you later? As hot as you look in this outfit I’d really just like to get you out of it….”

“God yes. In a real bed this time.” I grabbed his hands as I pulled away, drawing him into my room. Our clothes came off between increasingly heated kisses, and I whimpered as I pressed up against his bare skin, my erection rubbing against his abs alongside his own. “You make me so fucking hard, Ben….”

“Perfect,” he murmured, trailing open mouthed kisses along my jaw and down my neck, nipping possessively at the crook. “Mine.”

I bit my lip on a moan, grinding up against him. “Oh God, say that again.”

Ben licked a stripe of warmth to my ear, breath hot, voice a low growl. His hands slipped down to my ass as he spoke, clenching on my cheeks and pulling me up onto my tiptoes as he drew me against him. “You’re mine, you hear? No other Alpha will ever touch you, will ever fuck you but me.”

His words drew a desperate whine from my throat. “Oh God yes, please…”

Ben pressed a hard kiss to my mouth, then drew away, and before I could question he’d dropped to his knees, licking a hot stripe up the underside of my erection. I cried out as he took me into his mouth, fingers clenching in his hair as I fought the urge to thrust up into his throat. “Fuck, Ben!”

Ben hummed encouragingly around me, lips sliding down my shaft again and again, taking me deeper with each bob of his head. He was surprisingly practiced at this, hands rubbing over my hips and ass as he swallowed me down, the tight heat of his throat almost overwhelming.

I tried to keep control of myself, hands stroking through his hair, kneading his shoulders. “Oh my God you suck cock like a pro. Holy fuck, Ben, feels so fucking good –“

My words seemed to encourage him more, groaning hungrily around me and sucking me down a little more desperately. I had to force myself to stop him, clenching my fingers in his hair as I pulled away. “Gonna make me come too fast, love….”

Ben looked up at me through a fan of blond eyelashes, nuzzling my hip. “Isn’t that the idea?”

I drew a shuddering breath, wetting my lips. “Wanna come with you inside me.”

He bit his lip on a low groan, eyes darkening. “We don’t have to have sex…”

I smiled, stroking my thumb over his lips, humming appreciatively as he sucked on it. “I know. But I really want to ride you.”

I caught a flash of surprise in his eyes, then more desire. “Hot. We can do whatever you want, sexy.”

In moments I had him under me in my bed, straddling his hips, hands braced on his shoulders. He let me move as desired, his hands rubbing over my thighs as I rocked against the length of his erection, letting him slide along my sex. The sensation was intoxicating and only made me want him more.

Ben smoothed one hand over my thigh, curling his fingers loosely around my cock. “You’re so fucking sexy like this….”

“Just getting started,” I breathed, wrapping my fingers around the base of his cock and sinking down onto him.

My body adjusted far more easily to him this time, the pleasure of being filled just as intense, but with none of the discomfort from before. I let myself grind down onto him, back arched, bracing my hands on his chest as I moved, stimulation shuddering up my spine. “Oh fuck yes…”

Ben’s hips jerked up into me, his hands clenching on my ass, pulling me closer. “Feel so fucking good, love…”

I could feel the base of his cock start to swell inside me, but I didn’t fight it, keeping him deep inside me as I rocked against him. I quickly discovered what my body craved, moving against him just so, the extra girth of his knot pressing up inside me against all right places. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, body shuddering with pleasure as I rocked on him. “God, didn’t know it could feel like this! Your cock feels so fucking good Ben - !”

Ben gave a low, pleased growl in response, bucking up against me, and I cried out at the surge of sensation. “You’re so good, Lar. Just made to take my knot, aren’t you?”

I laughed breathlessly, leaning down to kiss him, reveling in the way the slow roll of my hips and the small thrusts of his own built the most intoxicating blend of pleasure. “Oh yes. And you were made to fuck me. My big strong Alpha male… Take such good care of me… Make me feel so fucking good, oh God, Ben!”

He raked his hands down my back, clenching and kneading at my ass, rubbing one fingertip against my asshole. “God, Lar, gonna make me come so fucking hard - !”

The idea made me feel almost wild, and I rocked down harder into him, my own pleasure quickly drawing close to its crest. “Fuck yes. Come inside me, Ben, fill me up!”

Ben twisted to bite down on my neck with a snarl, bucking hard against me, and I felt his whole body shudder as I made him come. The flood of heat inside me was the last straw, and I clenched around him, crying out as the waves of orgasm overwhelmed me. I gave into it completely, losing myself to the pleasure and joy of being with him.

We cuddled like that for some time, locked together, trading soft, tender kisses and words of adoration. Ben’s hands smoothed slowly over my frame as we did, caressing and exploring me with tender possessiveness, slowly rousing my passions again. Finally he rolled us over with practiced ease, pressing me back into the pillows and tenderly making love to me. My heart sang with joy from it, and if I hadn’t known already, I definitely did now: I loved this man with every fiber of my being.

Afterwards part of me wanted to just drift off to sleep in his arms, but my stomach rumbled in betrayal. Ben chuckled softly, kissing me softly before sitting up. “Let me go make us something to eat.”

“Only if you don’t put on clothes,” I replied, sitting up as well. I followed him to the kitchen, waiting patiently as he put a package of pasta into the hydrator before selecting a number of ingredient packages to combine for the sauce. Sometimes I thought that if Ben had been born Beta he would have made one of the best gourmet chefs in the world. It was a shame few Alphas made it in professional kitchens.

I pressed up against his back as he went to work, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck, thinking about what he'd said earlier about his twin. Ben had always spoken adoringly of Daniel, though all I knew was that he’d earned an incredibly prestigious scholarship at Harvard-Cambridge in some kind of biology. I’d assumed they’d always been together and been quietly jealous of the idea – my parental Alpha, a beautiful woman in the few photos I had of her, had taken my twin Mallorie back to Greater Ireland when my parents had split. I’d been too young to remember much of either of them. My father – he’d never let me call him anything else - had never re-mated or allowed me to travel to see them. 

It must have been amazing to grow up being close to his twin. It must have been terrible to lose him. 

I nuzzled his hair. “Ben… you could see your brother again if you were mated, right? In person? We could go to Harvard-Cambridge one weekend?”

Ben froze with a package of diced onions halfway to the saucepot. Then he set it down slowly, turning in my embrace to look at me. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to commit to me just because I have,” he said seriously, eyebrows knitting together.

I smiled, leaning in to kiss him. “I know. But I want to.”

Ben’s arms wrapped loosely around my waist, and he let his forehead rest against mine with a sigh. “I just want you to be sure that I’m enough for you,” he said softly, fingers stroking circles at the small of my back. “I don’t want you to regret this, Lar.”

I tried to think about it logically as I snuggled into him. “Well, now that I know what your cock is like I’m not going to miss anal. How do _you_ feel about anal?”

Ben hesitated for a moment. “… being on the receiving end?”

“Mm-hmm.” I nibbled his earlobe. “Let me finger you next time we fuck. I guarantee it’ll make your toes curl.”

Ben gave a slightly interested sounding growl as he licked up my neck, hands slipping down to cup my ass. “Hey now, stop using your pheromones on me. I have to feed us.”

“I’m not!” I protested, briefly traumatized until I pulled back to see his grin. “You ass.”

He chuckled, kissing me softly, then longer, drawing me close. “Lar… if you’re sure….”

“I am. I’ve loved you almost since I met you, you know. I’ve never found anything like this with anyone else.”

Ben was visibly overwhelmed by my words, and he pressed his face to my hair, arms tight around me. “I feel the same way, I’m so in love you. I just want to make sure I do right by you. Let’s give it a couple of months, okay? Before we register?”

“All right.” I’d wait if it made him happy, but I knew that nothing would change. “But let’s make love like we are.” If I enticed him with just a touch of pheromones a few times a week it would be more than enough to keep his Alpha tendencies at bay; he’d keep his head around any Omega. When we registered it would be part of my legal vows to him. “I want you to be a bit wild with me sometimes. And I really want to meet your brother.”

Ben swallowed hard, his voice husky. “I’d really like that,” he murmured, stroking his fingers into my hair. “And I’d really like you to be my mate.”

I kissed him wordlessly, a shiver of happiness running through me. I cuddled up against Ben’s back again as he turned back to making dinner, reveling in the knowledge that this was real. Somehow I couldn’t help but feel that if Ben and I could find happiness together then maybe the world wasn’t such a fucked up place after all.

~~~

 

The first few days after Ben and I agreed to exclusivity were more fulfilling than I'd ever imagined could be possible. Even when we weren't having sex all I wanted was to touch him, to cuddle up against his back or curl in his arms. Ben seemed just as enthralled, doting on me with sweet kisses and gentle touch, offering his body to me unrestrainedly. 

Bonding behavior, the logical part of my mind supplied, this need to be as close as possible. How a newly mated pair was supposed to act. I'd never felt it before, and I'd worried at times that there might be something wrong with me, or that it might be a failing of my beta phermones that I'd never been able to inspire such behavior in my beta or omega lovers, even when I thought I'd been in love.

Now it was warmly reassuring. Nothing was wrong with me. I'd just needed to find Ben.

The more we slept together the more I learned the greater joy of taking my time with our lovemaking, letting the bliss of post-orgasm stretch out so that I could enjoy the warm pleasure of just being locked to him, cuddled in his arms. We'd talk softly or even doze a little until my body's subconscious need for stimulation woke me so I could grind down on his knot and take my pleasure of him again. If I were a fertile Omega it would all be an attempt to ensure conception, and it felt gloriously, arousingly subversive that I was allowing myself to be knotted solely for only my pleasure, and to please my Alpha in return.

Ben was all at once possessive and protective and completely adoring, and though I'd always told myself that I didn't want an Alpha's possessiveness in a relationship, I quickly realized that I'd only felt that way because of a fear that I'd somehow lose myself, end up controlled and dominated by an Alpha who only wanted to own me.

At the same time I realized that I'd always wanted Ben because I knew he'd never be like that. I could enjoy these wonderful feelings of being protected and possessed by my strong, beautiful mate with the knowledge that Ben would never try to force that ownership on me or make me into anything I didn't want to be. And that knowledge made me love him all the more, made me crave the joy of giving myself to him, the perfect intensity of feeling him knot me and own my pleasure completely.

Not putting on clothes once throughout the entire weekend was certainly an added bonus.

When we were pulled out of class on Monday almost as soon as we arrived, I didn't even consider that it might be in relation to the police inquiry into what had happened at the bar. Ben had protected me from any consequences of my actions, and I knew he would continue to protect me. Plus, there were a few other recruit-officer pairs who had already been taken from regular classes for more specialized training, and that was a level of aptitude we all aspired to reach.

What surprised me was that when they took us to the office of our academy Unit Head, she waved us in together. Captain Prentis started speaking as soon as we'd sat down. "Gentlemen. I'm going to have to be more direct with you today than we'd normally be, and I'll apologize in advance for it. But we need to act quickly if we're going to protect you. Have you recently become sexually involved, and do you have any intention of registering?"

Instantly I felt my heart stop, and thought of the officers who had visited us. How else would she know?

Beside me, Ben stiffened, sitting up taller, leaning forward. "With all due respect, Captain, I didn't realize that the academy had any business asking about our sex lives or marital status."

"The academy does not, not officially."

"Then that's your answer." Ben's voice was a low growl, and while I appreciated the protectiveness I couldn't help but wonder if he was making it completely obvious to her.

The captain's lips pinched, and she leaned back in her chair, not rising to meet Ben's Alpha aggression but not submitting to it, either. "Carson, please. You're not in trouble, I'm not asking because - "

"Then maybe you should explain what's going on? First we get questioned by officers in our own home, then - "

"Officers that you lied to. You haven't been sleeping together since you started at the academy. We'd know. We watch very closely for that."

I felt my stomach lurch. "You do?"

Ben's jaw clenched. "Why the hell do you do that? What gives you the right?"

The Captain held up both hands, obviously used to displaying far more patience than was normally asked of an Alpha. "If you will allow me a moment to speak without interruption, I will tell you everything you need to know. Alright?"

I nodded quickly. "Please."

Ben hesitated, lips still pursed in displeasure, then nodded as well.

Captain Prentis leaned forward, steepling her fingers together on her desk. "There's a contractual agreement that all field officers must agree to when they enter service, regardless of if they're mated, one that we don't reveal to cadets. It's not a requirement for employment, since that would be discriminatory, but it is absolutely required for public facing positions. The agreement is what allows for police exception to segregation laws, and the reason why we create Alpha-Beta partnerships from day one in the academy. Why we match our pairs to deliberately encourage relationships, based on all of the personality and aptitude testing you undergo during intake. The two of you were what we consider a golden match, compatible enough that we matched you despite your displayed sex preferences, and that will help considerably."

I'd had inklings that pairings were planned, of course, but the extent of it was surprising and felt strangely invasive. And why was she telling this to us now? Still, I couldn't help but feel a little pleased to be told that we were so compatible.

Ben shook his head. "I don't understand. Help with what?"

Prentis picked up two folders from the desk, handing the wine coloured one to Ben and the navy to me. "The agreement that you will sign is one that you will never take action against your partner for any kind of coercion. In return, the Beta officer commits to do anything necessary to protect their Alpha partner from committing any kind of sexual misconduct, up to and including full coercion. Normally this is signed at graduation, as I said, but if a recruit pairing is observed displaying mating behavior, we invite them to sign the agreement early and officially register, so that we can fast track their training. Those two agreements are officially dated last week. Sign them, and what he did in the bar on Tuesday was fully in the line of duty and completely legal."

Ben's reaction was immediate, chair pushing closer to mine as he leaned towards the desk, as if to physically put himself between me and the Captain. "He didn't do anything. He wasn't the one breaking the law, and if you're accusing him - "

"I'm not," the Captain replied, cutting him off firmly. "But Sex Crimes has received multiple complaints from Alphas who were at the bar that claim otherwise, enough that they're obligated to investigate. So if you want to protect your mate, Officer Carson, you'd better sign the damn papers!"

"Ben...." I placed a hand on his arm before he could snap back at her, turning instead to the Captain. "We'll have to register, if we sign these? What happens if we don't?"

"If you sign but are unwilling to register, we try and re-match you with new partners. If you're unwilling to sign, he gets funneled into corrections, and you get stuck behind a desk. And I don't think either of you want that." 

I swallowed hard, and nodded. "I'm sorry, this is just really sudden. I... can we talk it over?"

She nodded, her expression softening. "I have until five PM to provide these to Sex Crimes. Sign them now, then take the rest of the day off. Go home and discuss things and if you change your minds all you need to do is call me before then. You have my word I'll destroy them if you ask me to."

Wordlessly Ben reached for a pen, turning to the back page of the contract and scrawling his name. It made me feel confident enough to do so as well, and soon enough we were leaving her office and stepping into a lift for home.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not being able to bring myself to look at him. "This is all my fault. I - "

"Hey. Stop that." Ben's hands caught my hips, drawing me close. I cuddled into him without hesitation, badly needing the security of his embrace and giving a soft sob of relief as he enfolded me in his arms.

"Shhh..." Ben pressed a kiss to my hair, stroking my spine. "You didn't do anything wrong, Larry, and I won't let anyone say otherwise. No matter what it takes."

I hid my face in his neck, breath catching in helplessness. "But I did. I can't force you into this just to protect me, I - "

"Sweetheart, you're not forcing me into anything. This is what I want." He drew back to press a warm kiss to my jaw, then my lips. "I want to be with you. You know this is what I want."

I drew a shivering breath against his mouth. "But you were so angry...."

"Of course I'm going to be angry at anyone who threatens you." He tugged me back into our apartment as the lift opened. "Come on, love. Let's go cuddle and talk, alright?"

I nodded, letting him pull me inside. "Are you sure about this?"

"I am." Ben stopped in the entry and moved a hand to cup my face. "But I promised I wouldn't force you into anything you don't want. So it's up to you. Sign, don't sign. We don't have to stay registered if you don't want to. We can register long enough to complete training and then tell the force to go fuck themselves and their agreement. Whatever you want."

There was so much tenderness and adoration in his voice and his gaze that for a moment I couldn't speak, couldn't do anything but kiss him, trembling as I curled into the strength of his embrace. "I want this," I whispered finally. "So much. I'm sure of it, I promise. I want to be your mate, I'd want you no matter what, I - "

"My Lar..." Ben smoothed his fingers through my hair as he kissed me, soft and warm and slow, murmuring soft reassurements until I'd calmed. Then he caught my hands. "Couch?"

I moved with him, but glanced down, biting my lip. "Bed? Can we... I - I really need to feel you...."

"Anything you need, love," Ben assured, leaning in for a soft kiss as he drew me into his bedroom.

He helped as I started to tug at his trainee uniform, then urged me into bed once we were nude, pinning me underneath him as he claimed my mouth again. I arched up against him with a sigh, feeling more secure under the weight of his body. I ran my hands down his well muscled back and over his firm ass, cupping it and pulling him closer, already growing hard from the pleasure of his body and his kisses and the promise of what was to come. "Feel safe with you," I murmured, stroking his side with a thigh. "Never knew how good that would feel. Never thought I would want this so badly...."

Ben smiled against my mouth, pulling back to look down at me, fingertips tracing my jawline. "I know. God, the way I feel about you, Lar... I'd give you the world if I could. Didn't think things could be like this either." He dipped in to kiss me softly, still speaking as we rocked together slowly. "Must've done something right in my life if my perfect match is someone like you...."

That's what the Captain had said, wasn't it? That we had a near-perfect compatibility? I might have felt threatened by the knowledge if I'd known that coming into the academy, but now I just felt a rush of gratitude, smiling wide against his lips. "I'm so glad we were matched."

"It's the best thing that's ever happened to me," he replied, kissing me again. I pulled my thighs around his waist, grinding my sex against the length of his cock, feeling a rush of need at the way it made him groan against my lips. "God, Lar...."

"Please, love..." I curled one hand in his hair to hold him to my kisses, sucking at his lips, tasting him more urgently. The stimulation of his hard shaft rubbing against me was exquisite, but just a shade of what my body ached for. "I need you, please mate me...."

Ben drew a sharp breath against my lips, shifting so the head of his cock pressed against my sex. "Sounds so dirty when you say it that way," he breathed, then started to rock into me, groaning. "Oh god, you're so wet for me...."

I groaned as I pushed up against him, revelling in the slide of his thick, hard cock inside me. I tightened my thighs around his waist to urge him into deep, slow thrusts, each a rush of sensation that pushed a gasp from my lips. "Oh god... but that's what I crave, love. Need my mate to lay claim to me, god, please knot me...."

"Fuck, Lar..." He began to use me a little more urgently, jarring my body with harder thrusts. "Claim you anytime you need me to, sweetheart," he gasped, and in a few more hard bucks was grinding his cock up into me as the stimulation of our lovemaking made his knot start to expand. 

I arched up against him eagerly, whimpering as his swelling knot began to stretch my body. I knew well now that my body could take the huge girth of it, that the discomfort would only be momentary, that soon I'd find only pleasure in the shift of his cock inside me. My body fluttered around the intrusion, but I forced myself to relax, grinding up against him and crying out as the full girth of his knot shifted inside me in a rush of stimulation. "Oh god, yes - !"

"My mate," he murmured, catching my mouth in a trembling, possessive kiss and groaning as I rolled my hips up against him again. "Fuck, Lar, you feel so good...."

"Feel so full," I gasped, thighs trembling as I tried to squirm up against him for more sensation. "Oh god, Ben, please...."

"Shh. Just relax, sweetheart...." He claimed my cry from my lips as he rolled his hips into me, pushing me down more into the bed. He'd quickly discovered just how I liked it, how to rock with me so that each shift of our bodies spiked sensation up my spine, made me gasp and shudder in pleasure. At the same time I felt wonderfully helpless to the press of his knot, stretched open and vulnerable. Sex could be painful and even damaging if an Alpha was rough with his lover, but I'd never felt anything but pleasure with Ben.

"So good," I whimpered, pressing my heels into his ass, toes curled under. Between us, my cock pressed slick against his abs as we moved together, an extra tease of pleasure. "Oh god, love, thank you....."

"Me?" Ben gave a soft, surprised laugh into my kiss. "You're the one letting me knot you...."

"Because you make it so - oh! Oh god, so good for me, Ben!"

"So good for me too, sweetheart...." He nipped at my bottom lip, breathing hard as the rock of his hips grew a little more urgent. "God, being able to grind my knot into your tight little sex, feeling you shudder around me... fuck, Lar, gonna make me come so hard...!"

"Please," I gasped, jerking up against him, my own pleasure quickly rushing towards its peak. "Come in me, fill me up, give me everything, Ben, please....!"

His groan of pleasure was almost triumphant against my lips, and in a few more desperate little bucks I felt him throb and pulse inside me, continuing to roll his hips into me as he pumped me full of his seed. The added fullness was a near-agony of intensity, but it was just what I craved. I let my body revel in it, grinding up against his knot again and again as orgasm overwhelmed me, my breath in gasping cries against his lips as I fucked myself on his cock until every last shudder of pleasure had been pulled from my climax.

"So amazing...." Ben pressed soft kisses to my face as I caught my breath, murmuring adorations. "My beautiful, perfect mate... taking my knot so good... taking all of me, taking all my come...."

I couldn't help but arch up against him, clenching around him briefly and whimpering at the over-stimulation. "Oh god, don't try and start me up again so soon...."

Ben chuckled softly, kissing my mouth, slipping one arm under the pillows to rest his weight on it. I shifted carefully to let my feet rest on the mattress, relaxing under him, sighing as he reached down to stroke and rub one thigh. "Just wanna stay like this for a bit, love?"

"Mmm." I closed my eyes with a soft sigh, reveling in the feeling of fullness and post-coital bliss. "Forever...."

He chuckled again, nuzzling my jaw. "I have to feed you eventually."

I stroked my fingers along his spine and up the back of his neck, encouraging his kisses. "Mm. Just hire someone to bring food to the bed."

"Sure. Anything you want, love."

I trailed my fingers up into his hair. "Just you."

"Always yours," he murmured, and his lips found mine again, slow and reverent. "And... maybe commitment rings....?"

My heart fluttered with happiness at the suggestion. "I'd really like that."

"And we'll be good little officers and go register...." He paused drawing back to look down at me. "Do you want a ceremony?"

I caught my bottom lip between my teeth, thinking of my father, who wouldn't leave his house even if we held it in an Omega-segregated area, and my mother, who was little more than a picture to me. Then I shook my head. "I'll just ask John to witness for me. Maybe we can do something fancy once we've graduated and have a bit more money...." I stroked my fingers along his jaw. "And then your brother can come...."

I watched Ben's lips press together tightly, his eyes growing bright. Then he pressed a trembling kiss to my mouth. "Thank you. You don't know how much that means to me, Lar."

I smiled against his lips, stroking my fingers through his hair. "I can't wait to find out."

~~~


	5. Chapter 5

**Daniel Carson**

As much as I’d tried to be confident for my brother, I couldn’t help but worry, feeling distracted as I went about my work the next day with no word from him. Finally I received a message early in the evening.

_’I took your advice. We’re okay. He loves me. He wants to meet you - he asked, not me. I’m so happy, Daniel.’_

For a moment I couldn’t respond, heart aching with an overwhelming surge of joy at his words. I hugged my wrist com to my chest, closing my eyes and trying to swallow around the unexpected lump in my throat. _‘I’m so glad, Ben. I’m so happy. ‘_

 _’I’ll message you later and we can talk,’_ he promised, and I smiled.

_’Tomorrow. Then you can tell me all about it. Just be with him tonight.’_

He didn’t have any argument for that.

Despite my joy for my brother’s happiness, I couldn’t help but feel a bittersweet twist of longing. For the first time I wanted badly to experience what he was feeling, and the fear that I’d never be able to left me feeling very lonely indeed. 

Finally I messaged Neal. _’I could do with some company tonight. Are you busy, handsome?’_

 _‘Never too busy for you, sunshine,’_ came the reply, and I was all too happy to lose myself in his arms for the rest of the night.

~~~

As Ben and I made plans to finally see each other again, it was sometimes difficult to concentrate on my work, which was experiencing some frustrating delays. We’d finally ironed out the bugs in the dosage calculations for the treatment we were working on - Leon’s break through the night we’d first slept together, I learned - and I’d quickly signed up to participate as part of the Omega trial group. Our testing had been extensive, and Mere was confident enough in its safety to join the trial group herself, but we still had to prove its safety over a number of years before we could think about going public.

Proving its safety was one thing. Proving its effectiveness, well… that wasn’t quite so easy.

I looked up from my work as Liv and May came back into the lab. “Any luck?”

May wrinkled her nose. “We had ten sign the NDA, but two backed out once they found out about the sex. Why can’t we use Omegas?”

“Apart from having to apply for an exception to segregation laws - which is a nightmare, trust me - our control group would be getting knocked up every time we ran a test.” Liv ran a data chip over the input scanner on my workstation. “What are our totals, Daniel?”

I checked the numbers. “Seventy-three betas, forty-one alphas.”

Mere glanced over my shoulder to verify the numbers. “We need to still recruit at least twenty-seven and nine, though we really should get twice that much just for a safety buffer.”

Liv frowned, chewing on her bottom lip. “I’ll make some inquiries within the faculty, some of them have been willing to help us out in the past. And some of them owe Mere and I.”

“Good call. But even then there aren’t many unmated alphas and betas on staff. I’ll contact some recruiters in Portland-Biddeford and Grand New York, they’re close enough for someone to travel out to do the interviews and monitoring. We’ll have to increase the stipend to account for it.” Mere looked down at me. “I don’t suppose anyone in your circles would be interested?”

“I tapped everyone I could think of,” I told her. “Neal, Courtney and Pink are already signed up. Michelle was in until he started dating that alpha. He said he’d talk to his sister, though. Oh, and Leon said he’d participate.” It had surprised me, but I didn’t question him. Leon had become far more liberal with his affections since we’d hooked up, though I got the distinct impression that he still wasn’t particularly happy.

“Well, we’ll do what we can. You might as well take off for the weekend. If you need us, Liv and I will be in Cape Cod.”

I was more than happy to leave early. I’d gone into heat the day before, and while Neal had been all too happy to spend half the night indulging me in hot sex, it hadn’t been quite enough to completely scratch the itch. But Ben and his mate were traveling up to visit in the morning, and I wanted full control of my faculties for the rest of the weekend.

When the lift dropped me off at Neal’s residence, I could hear the water running. He’d upgraded a year ago to a much more expensive residence that that boasted, among other amenities, a full-sized soaker tub, which was a decadent rarity when there was much more efficient ways to clean oneself.

Neal stepped out of the bathroom to greet me, pulling me close for a yearning, blistering kiss that made my toes curl. I arched into him, moaning into his mouth at the feel of his body against mine, both relieving and enticing. I started undoing the buttons of his shirt. “God, I missed you.”

“Since this morning?” Neal chuckled, dotting my mouth with kisses as he started to undress me as well. “You are in a way.”

“You like it when I am,” I growled, pulling his shirt off to stroke my hands hungrily over his bare skin.

“I like it all the time,” Neal replied, nipping at my bottom lip and tugging me towards the bathroom. “Come on.”

I tucked my glasses into the breast pocket of my blazer, draping it and my shirt over the bathroom vanity. “Sex in the bath? Darling, you’re too good to me.” Somehow the heat of the bath always helped sooth the thrum of need in my veins

“I enjoy spoiling you,” Neal said, pulling me against him as we shed the rest of our clothes. He stroked both hands down to cup my ass, and I groaned, reaching between us to curl my fingers around his half hard cock.

“Will you entice me, too? I want to get as much of this out of my system as possible.”

Neal gave an appreciative hum against my mouth, hardening more as I stroked him. “I’ll keep you going all night, sunshine. I’ll fuck you until you can hardly walk straight.”

I drew a sharp hiss at the thought, forcing myself to pull away and step back towards the bath. “Bath. Sex. Now.”

Neal stepped in, and I felt the enticement of his pheromones wash over me as I sank down into the hot water to straddle his lap. Words fell away to frantic kisses, my cock hard and aching, sliding against his own between us as we rocked together. The heat of the bath and the decadent feel of his slick skin under my fingers was far too much temptation for me to wait, and I reached between us to curl my fingers around his cock, holding him in place as I sank down onto him. “Oh God, yes…”

Neal stroked his hands up my hips, thumbs pressing into my hip bones as he encouraged me to rock on him. “That’s it, sunshine… However you want… Love watching you fuck yourself on me.”

One of the things I loved most about being with Neal was how familiar with we’d become with each other’s bodies, and I knew exactly how to move on him, exactly how to please him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as I shifted and rocked against him, reveling in the feel of him inside me, stroking my passion. My cock, trapped tight between us, slid slick against his abs in the bathwater. I groaned, moving a little harder on him. “God… Just wanna do this all the time, Neal… You feel so good inside me…”

He started to rock with me a little, bracing his feet against the other side of the tub to thrust up into me. “All the time, love? Everywhere? Want me to bend you over a bench in your lab and fuck you there?”

I gave a soft cry of pleasure, moving more desperately on him, craving the intensity of sensation as much as I craved release. I loved playing this with him. “Oh God yes, want you in my lab, want you to fuck me in the hallway against the wall where anybody can see us…” I couldn’t help but whimper at the last words, my passion building fast and hard, drawing me towards orgasm “Oh God, Neal, harder!”

“That’s it, sunshine, come for me - “ his hips stuttered up into me as my orgasm overwhelmed me, and I clung tightly to him, reveling in the familiar bliss of our mutual pleasure.

Afterwards I was happy to let him fuss over me, wrapping me up in one of his big fluffy house coats and opening a bottle of wine while we waited for dinner to cook. We talked and flirted through the meal, and by the time he took me to bed I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in our lovemaking for the rest of the evening. Neal had always been an ardent and attentive lover, but what I always loved about coming back to his bed was how well he knew how to please me, teasing me to the heights of orgasm with his mouth and hands and cock several times before finally taking his own pleasure of me. It left me completely sated and wonderfully exhausted, and as I curled in his arms afterwards, drifting off to sleep, I felt a perfect contentment and fondness for him.

Neal’s voice was soft and warm against my hair. “You should really think about moving in with me.”

For a moment I couldn’t quite understand what I’d heard. I tried to pull my mind back from the fog of sleep. “Hmm?”

Neal shifted against me, arms tightening around me, and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You should think about moving in here with me. I’d really like it if you did. I have plenty of space. And I like it when you’re around.”

My sense of alarm grew each word, but I couldn’t help but try to convince myself that I wasn’t hearing what I thought I was hearing. “Neal, we’re not exclusive. We’re not - “

“No, of course not, I don’t want that. Nothing stopping us from going out to find other partners whenever we like. Or together. I just thought, well, you’re basically my primary - “

I sat up, pulling away from him in panic. “I’m your _what_?”

“Primary. Lover. Aren’t we?” Neal sat up as well, reaching out to touch my arm. “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong? I know you’re not with anyone else on a regular basis, and I don’t want any of my other lovers like I love you, Daniel. I don’t want to register or anything, I just…”

I whimpered softly despite myself, and brought my hands to my face, pressing my fingers against my mouth. How had I completely misinterpreted the situation? “I’m sorry,” I managed to say, trying to breathe around the panic that clenched at my heart. “I thought this was just casual, I - “

“You thought _four years_ was casual?” The incredulousness in his voice stung me to the core. “Jesus Christ, Daniel. Why are you being like this? I know you love me - “

“I do,” the words coming out as a sob, my eyes burning. “Neal, I do, I care for you, I care so much, but I’m not _in love_ with you. I’ve never been in love with you. I’m so sorry….”

For a long moment he said nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, too overwhelmed by shame and hurt. I tried to keep my shoulders from shaking, feeling like I couldn’t quite get enough air but not able to calm myself. “I’m so sorry,” I whimpered again. “Please don’t be angry…”

Neal gave a long sigh, and after a moment I felt him shift to press close to me, wrapping his arms around me. “Shhh. I’m not angry. God, Daniel, please don’t be upset. This is my fault. Please don’t cry….”

“I’m sorry,” I said again, his words so kind that I lost my tremulous grasp on self-control and started sobbing, burying my face in his neck. Neal held me tight, stroking a hand over my hair and down my back again and again, and though his kindness only made me feel worse, I finally managed to pull myself together.

Pulling away from him, I grabbed a tissue from his bedside table and blew my nose, hands still shaking a little. “I’m sorry,” I said again, still not able to bring myself to look at him, to see the hurt in those pretty blue eyes. “I do care for you, very much. You’ve been so good to me. But this isn’t what I want for the rest of my life. I’m not - I’m not polyamorous. I want to find someone and fall head over heels in love and just be theirs, I want what my brother has. I know it’s completely illogical to think that way, because we have a really good thing going on here, I just… I can’t change the way I feel. And I’m so sorry if I’ve lead you on or hurt you, Neal….”

“It’s okay,” he said softly, not moving to touch me again. “It’s okay. God knows love isn’t logical.” He gave a soft, broken sounding laugh. “Look… if what you want is exclusivity, I can try….”

I shook my head, reaching out to take his hand in both of mine. “It would be a lie for us both. You know that.”

He sighed, stroking his thumb over my skin restlessly. “Yeah. So… I guess this is probably the end for us.”

The thought of it hurt more than I’d ever expected, but I knew it was unfair of me to continue this when I couldn’t give him what he wanted. “I guess so,” I replied, my voice sounding lifeless even to myself. “I… I should probably go.”

The terrible aching, trembling feeling in the pit of my stomach only grew as I gathered my things, dressing in silence. Neal had put on a robe, but said nothing. When I went to leave his room, he met me at the door, catching my wrist. “Daniel, please don’t leave like this…”

I couldn’t stop myself from pressing close to him, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his neck. “I’m so sorry, Neal…”

“Shhh.” Neal pressed his lips to my hair. “No no, sunshine. Please don’t feel badly, this isn’t your fault. I wish I hadn’t said anything. Especially not today, not with your brother coming in the morning.”

I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more at the moment than to crawl into Ben’s arms and cry. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be better once he’s here. I’m just sorry I hurt you.”

“I’ll survive.” His arms tightened around me. “Look, when I’m over this, when I’ve found another primary, I’ll give you a call if you’re still single. We can have a threesome or something.”

“I’d like that,” I told him, pulling back to claim his lips with my own, trying to forget as I kissed him that this might be the last time.

Then I signaled for a lift, going back to Mere’s residence and crying quietly into Ben’s battered blue sweater until I fell asleep.

~~~

 

I felt marginally better the next morning, able to push away the heartache of last night’s memories for the anticipation of finally seeing Ben again. I had a light breakfast with Mere and Liv, and was sipping tea and discussing the project when the chime sounded to announce the arrival of the lift.

Mere smiled at me, rising and crossing to the door. I stood as well, feeling a sudden, ridiculous rush of nervousness. Of course everything would go well. But it had been so long….

My twin greeted my aunt as he stepped into the residence, followed closely by a tall, lanky ginger man who I knew must be his mate. Ben caught my gaze, smiling slowly as he set down the bag he was carrying, and then held out his arms to me. “Daniel.”

In a few steps I was across the room and in his arms, burying my face in his neck and wrapping my arms tightly around him to convince myself that he was there. It was a hundred, thousand times more real than immersive – the warmth and scent of his skin, the feel of his strength and solidity, the way he held me tight and pressed his face to my hair. I was sobbing before I could help myself, the overwhelming joy of being with him mixing with the heartbreak I’d felt last night.

“It’s so good to see you again,” Ben murmured, voice thick with emotion, his fingers stroking restlessly through my hair and down my back. “Feels so good, I’ve waited so long….”

“Me too,” I whispered, taking a deep breath to try and pull myself together. I could hear Mere introducing herself and Liv to Ben’s mate, but I held to the embrace a moment longer, pressing a kiss to Ben’s jaw and breathing deep before finally stepping away from his arms.

Ben caught hold of one of my hands as he turned back to wrap an arm around his companion’s waist. “Larry, this is my twin, Daniel. Daniel, my mate.”

I turned my attention to the man who’d come in with Ben, taking his offered hand in my free one. I’d seen pictures of Larry online, of course, but he was more striking in person - a tall, broad shouldered man with a thick shock of red hair and freckles to match, and a generous mouth that seemed to have a propensity for contagious grins. He was grinning at both of us now. “Damn, Ben. Your twin is almost as hot as you are.”

I chuckled self-consciously at the praise, glancing away. Ben chuckled as well. “Well, we are identical.”

“Not in every way, you aren’t,” Larry replied suggestively, then laughed and covered his eyes with a hand for a moment. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Daniel. I’m terrible.”

Instinctively, I threw my arms up around his shoulders, giving him a tight hug as well. “You’re wonderful. I hope you know how happy you make my brother.”

“I hope so too,” Ben replied softly, and the quiet, peaceful adoration I could see in his eyes made me feel both overwhelmingly happy for him and poignantly lonely at the same time. Ben looked back to me, letting go of my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me against him again, as if sensing my feelings as he always had when we were young. “Enough of being sappy, though. Let’s catch up. Can we take you out for lunch somewhere?”

“We just had breakfast, but lunch would be great in a bit. I can make you something now, if you’re hungry.” I looked over to my aunt. “Mere, will you two stay for lunch?”

“As much as I’d love to be part of this impromptu family reunion, we have reservations in Cape Cod involving large quantities of wine.” Mere smirked and wrapped her arms around both Ben and I, kissing my hair, and then his. “Good to see you again, wayward nephew. You boys have a good weekend.”

They left in the waiting lift, and I put the kettle on for tea, feeling strangely anxious and trying to find something to occupy myself. Ben finally caught my hand, pulling me into the living room towards the couch where Larry had taken a seat. “Come sit. Tea can wait. Those glasses look really nice on you, by the way. I didn’t know if you’d like them…”

“Oh!” I lifted my hand to touch the frames I wore as I sat beside him, not resisting as Ben wrapped an arm around my shoulders to pull me close. He’d sent the vintage style wire rimmed glasses to me for Christmas my first year I'd been here, when I tried to describe the style that most people here had adopted. They were purely decorative, of course; vision problems had all been solved in the twenty-first century. But I’d never worn them for him, they interfered with the visor system for immersive. “I wear them almost all the time, actually. I really love them.” I glanced up at Larry. “Ben gave them to me.”

“They’re not really vintage,” Ben said, trying to be modest despite his proud smile.

“They suit you,” Larry replied, leaning into Ben’s other side with one arm resting along the back of the couch. He didn’t seem uncomfortable with us, but I didn’t want to make him be, so I tried to pull back.

Ben gave a little growl and pulled me back against him, pressing a kiss to my hair. “Don’t move. I’ve waited too long to see you again to not cuddle the hell out of you right now.”

I glanced up at Larry. “But - “

“Don’t worry about me,” he replied, smiling. “I couldn’t be jealous of family.”

It surprised me how quickly I started to feel completely comfortable around the two of them. They talked for a while about their work in the Academy, about my parents and younger siblings and how everyone was doing. Once Ben had been accepted to his intake program I’d gone home a few times to visit, but school had kept me too busy to do so often. In any case, my parents had their hands full; Ange and Nat both looked likely to settle as female Betas, and I didn’t envy either of my parents having to deal with the two of them going through puberty while raising Brooks and their newest set of twins.

Finally Ben leaned back against the back of the couch, hand stroking my shoulder as he regarded me. “How is school? Are you changing the world yet?”

I wanted so badly to tell Ben about our successes, despite Mere making me promise not to. Still, if it was something he could figure out by himself…. I looked up at Larry. “I know most betas can detect pheromones better than the rest of us. Can you?”

He looked a little surprised, and shrugged. “Yeah, more or less. Why?”

I pulled out of Ben’s embrace to lean across his lap, looking up at his mate. “Will you tell me what you smell on me?”

Larry hesitated for a moment, glancing at Ben before leaning in close, breath warm on the crook of my neck. “Um. Are you sure you want me to tell you?”

I leaned back, smiling. “Go ahead. You won’t embarrass me.”

Larry wet his lips, still looking a little nervous. “Um. You’ve had a lot of sex with very recently with a male beta.”

Ben gave a soft hum that sounded impressed, but I didn’t look away from Larry, still smiling. “And?”

He looked a little confused. “Was I supposed to catch something else?”

“How close am I to being in heat?”

His answer was immediate. “Oh, not at all.”

I grinned wider, feeling a rush of pride. “I’ve been in heat for two days.”

“ _What?_ ” Ben pulled me close, pressing his face to my hair and breathing deeply. “That’s impossible.”

“The guy I was with last night would disagree with you,” I said, trying not to feel too smug.

Larry was shaking his head slowly. “That’s amazing.”

“That’s incredible.” Ben stared at me. “What is it, a drug treatment? Hormone therapy? Why haven’t we heard anything about this?”

“You still haven’t heard anything about it,” I replied, looking back at him pointedly. “I know the two of you will keep any assumptions to yourself, yes?”

“Of course,” Larry replied immediately. “But say there _had_ been something developed that blocked Omega pheromones. Wait, are they - would it just be blocking transmission, or blocking creation all together?”

“They’re definitely still there,” I replied, leaning back against the couch again.

“Why haven’t we heard about this, then?” Ben asked. “Something like that could change… Well, everything.”

“I hope so,” I said softly, looking down at my lap. “It’ll be a long time before we can get - I mean, before something like that could ever get approved for use worldwide. I’m part of the phase 1 trials, as are Mere and Liv. But there’s… restrictions. Despite how long something’s tested, regulatory bodies are extremely wary of the impact it might have on fertility. You won’t believe the amount of paperwork I had to wade through and the shrinks I had to meet with to convince them I had no intention of ever bearing children. We’ve been recruiting for phase 2 trials, but… it’s been difficult.”

Ben shook his head. “Why wouldn’t people want to be part of something like this?”

“We can’t actually tell them what it’s about until they sign an NDA,” I pointed out. “And then… well, let’s just say it’s been more difficult than anticipated to recruit unmated betas willing to agree to trials that involve a 50% chance of being fucked by a random alpha they don’t know. The stipend for participation is good, but not that amazing.”

“Really?” Now Larry sounded incredulous. “Have you been to a bar lately? They’re full of completely unapologetic whores. I would’ve been down for that in a heartbeat before Ben.” He grinned at my brother and shrugged. “You know it’s true.”

“Then it’s a good thing you’re mine now,” Ben replied, leaning in to press a brief kiss to his mouth. 

I watched Larry melt under the display of possessiveness, and wondered what it must feel like. He smiled adoringly at my brother as their lips parted, and looked back to me. “Seriously, though. Say I happened to know some people who I thought, theoretically of course, wouldn’t have any qualms about taking part in such a study. Could I put them in touch with you?”

I hesitated, chewing on my bottom lip. Mere probably wouldn’t be happy if she knew I’d bent the confidentiality rules this far. But we did desperately need test subjects.… “Well,” I started, “if an unmated beta happened to register with Harvard-Cambridge for participation in drug trials, then a project like that would be given priority for new recruits. Just… please be cautious. If it gets out that I may have leaked information about the study….”

“Don’t worry. There’s definitely a few betas I know who are complete and unrepentant whores that I think I can send your way without revealing any details of this theoretical study that doesn’t exist,” he replied, patting my knee reassuringly.

We didn’t talk about it again for the rest of the day, but knowing that I had both of their support was icing on the cake. I took them both all over the institution - with a mate accompanying him, Ben had full access – we had drinks with May and Leon and a few more of my classmates, and I just generally reveled in his presence. I even managed not to think about Neal until Leon unknowingly asked if he was coming out. I was surprised by how much the thought of him hurt, but managed to make some excuse and change the subject.

Larry turned in when we finally came home, begging sleep and blaming the alcohol. Whether or not he was being sincere, I enjoyed a few moments alone with my twin, sitting out on the balcony with the remains of a bottle of wine.

“So,” Ben said softly, watching me. “Who’s this Neal? You’ve never said anything about him before, but you’re still heartbroken about him, aren’t you?”

“You still know me too well. He’s…” I sighed, leaning into him and looking out across the grounds of institution, the old brick buildings partly illuminated by streetlights. What on earth was I supposed to say about Neal? “A friend with benefits,” I said finally. “Was. We… ended.”

Ben shifted to wrap around my shoulders, pressing a kiss to my hair. “Should I be angry at him?”

No,” I said quickly. “Not at him. He’s been really good to me, Ben. He has been since I came here. I just….” I stopped. I just what? Why did this hurt so much?

“Are you in love with him?” Ben asked softly, and I turned into him, pressing my face to his shoulder and losing control of a soft, shuddering sob. 

“No. But I really wanted to be. I tried to let myself believe that we weren’t serious, but when I found out that he was in love with me, I - I just can’t let myself lead him on anymore. I wish I could feel the same way about him - about anyone - as you feel about Larry. I want to be with someone and know with a certainty that I don’t want anyone else but them. I’m so afraid that I’ll never find that.”

Ben gave a soft, soothing hum, holding me close and stroking my back. He was silent for a long moment, but I could feel his love and sympathy acutely, and it soothed me.

“The thing about love….” he said slowly, finally. “I think I know how you feel. I really wanted it, too. After I made you that promise it was all I could think about, this magical, fairytale thing that would change my life and let me see my brother again. I tried so hard to make it happen with so many girls. And then… it kind of just happened when I least expected it.”

“So I shouldn’t give up,” I murmured, and sighed. “But what if I’m not capable? What if there’s something wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Ben said vehemently, arms tightening around me. “Don’t ever think that. You’re perfect.”

“You’re biased,” I murmured, but his words made me feel better. I shifted to press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for saying that, though. Having you here means more to me than I can say.”

“We’ll come up as often as we can,” Ben promised, returning the soft kiss and hugging me tight.

~~~

I was surprised at how peaceful I felt after Ben left. Whenever I thought back to my time with my brother and the surprising fondness I’d developed for his mate I felt a surge of contentment, and it was noticeable enough that Mere started referring to me in disgust as the bloody bluebird of happiness. When the message came through to the lab two weeks later that we had two new recruits in the lobby, I didn’t think anything of it, loading the prescreening questionnaire onto my data tablet and heading downstairs to reception with May.

As we exited the lift, my eyes were drawn to a pair in the waiting room who were obviously siblings - tall, gorgeous, dark-haired twins. The man commanded my attention immediately - his dark hair in tousled curls framing fine features and eyes that I could tell were startling shade of green even from halfway across the room. He looked up at me as if sensing my gaze, glancing me over and giving me a warm, appreciative smile.

Beside me, May gave a low, appreciative hum. “I call Hottie McFoxalot.”

I tore my gaze from the beautiful man. “What?”

“The pretty lady. Okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” I managed to stammer, telling myself very firmly that I’d been out of heat for a full week and had absolutely no reason to suddenly want to jump this man’s bones as badly as I did. I took a deep breath to clear my head and led the way across the room. “Are you the new recruits for our study? I’m Daniel Carson, this is my colleague, May Jensen.”

The man smiled as he took my hand. “John Murdoch. My sister Anna.”

I forced myself to smile at the girl as well, though her focus quickly moved to May. “I’m glad to hear of your interest in our study,” I told them. “We’ll need to record separate prescreening interviews with the two of you to determine suitability. After that you’ll be required to sign a nondisclosure agreement, and then we’ll get you the details of the study and arrange for a standard psych evaluation. You can choose to stop participating in the study at any time, but the nondisclosure agreement will be binding until such a time that the university publicly releases the study results. Can you agree to that?”

“Sure, sounds good,” John replied, still smiling at me.

We took them back in the building and into separate interview rooms. I turned on the recording function, and sat down across from the table. “For the record, please state your full name, date of birth and reproductive type?”

“Jonathan William Murdoch, born December 5th, 2217. I’m a male beta.”

My age, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking. “What made you interested in joining the study?”

John shrugged. “I’m a broke postsecondary student studying to be a thespian of the highest degree. Extra money would be pretty sweet. And making a difference in the world in science and all that, of course.”

“You’re a drama student?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“Yeah.” He leaned forward across the table excitedly. “Are you interested in theater?”

“I am, I - “ I forced myself to stop and stay on task. “I’m sorry, we can discuss that later. Are you registered to anyone?”

He snorted. “Oh God, no.”

“Do you have any intention of being registered, or are you in a serious relationship that may lead you to desire to be registered anytime within the next twelve months?”

John smirked, leaning back in his chair. “I am a completely unapologetic whore. So, no.”

His choice of words immediately reminded me of my discussion with my brother and his mate, and I bit my tongue to keep from bringing it up. “Have you ever been convicted of an account of coercion?”

“No.” John looked shocked. “What kind of people do you get here?”

Thought of upsetting him made me feel surprisingly flustered. “I’m sorry, Mr. Murdoch, it’s just a required question on all studies for your reproductive type. Please don’t take offense.”

“Oh. Hey, it’s okay, no worries.” He smiled, leaning towards me again. “And please, call me John.”

The invitation sent an unexpected flood of warmth through me. “All right, John. Have you ever engaged in enticement with a willing partner?”

“Sure, whenever my partner wanted it.”

“Would you be willing to coerce a willing partner who had agreed to it in their sound mind?”

“Sure. Sounds pretty wild.” He quirked his eyebrows at me suggestively, and I felt my cheeks heat, my thoughts moving, unbidden, to what it might be like with him. I swallowed hard.

“All right. The study will require participation over a period of twelve months. You’ll be required to visit the institution once a month for intensive testing, and consent to be visited every two weeks between those tests for samples and an interview, as well as a weekly interview through immersive. You’ll need to give consent to Harvard Cambridge to access your tracking data and sexual activity during the period of the trial. You’ll be given the standard weekly trial stipend for the duration of those twelve months, along with a travel bonus, as long as these conditions are met. Would you still like to participate?”

John opened his mouth to say something, glanced at the recording equipment, then merely smiled. “Yes, I do.”

May and Anna were giggling together when we met up with each other. We took them through their paperwork and the NDAs, then explained the requirements of the study in detail. I watched John, feeling strangely anxious, too used to study participants backing out at this point, but he seemed pleased with the idea. Anna seemed a little more insecure.

“We won’t know, then, if we’re in the control group or the test group until we come here for our first test session, right?”

I nodded. “We are quite certain that the treatment is safe, with no dangerous side effects. I’ve been involved in phase 1 of the testing myself for six months.”

“Oh.” Anna looked over to May. “And you?”

May shook her head. “We’re not allowed to test on Omegas that might want to have children in the future. Not that there’s any indication that the treatment will have an effect on fertility, it’s just standard procedure considering… Well.”

Anna nodded. “And if we are in the control group, is there any way to request being tested with a female Alpha?”

May set up a little straighter in her chair. “We can arrange for gender preferences, yes.”

I would’ve teased her for being so twitterpated if I didn’t feel quite so flustered by John myself. I looked back to him. “Any other questions?”

John had been regarding me thoughtfully, and nodded. “All these interviews and things. If I’m going to participate I want you to do them. Can I be that demanding?”

I felt my heart unexpectedly skip a beat. “I - um, sure?”

“Done deal, then.” John replied, looking very smug with himself.

Anna leaned over to punch him in the shoulder. “Hey. Stop flirting with the scientists.”

“You’re just as bad,” he shot back, rubbing his arm and pouting. “Ow.”

May giggled, sweet and breathless in a way I’d never seen before, and stood. “That’s all we need for today, then. We’ll see you out. If you know anyone else you think might be interested in participating - you can’t tell them the details, of course, but we’d very much appreciate the references. If we can fill our test group the study will start next month.”

We saw them back down to the lobby and outside, waiting a lift with them on the sidewalk. Just as it was arriving, John leaned close, murmuring low in my ear. “You’re way sexier than your brother, you know.”

His words sent an unexpected rush of nervousness and excitement through me that settled in my stomach, I could only stare at him as he winked at me and stepped back towards the lift with his sister. “See you soon, Daniel.”

As the lift doors closed, May let out a long breath. “Holy shit, those two are just…”

“I’m glad they’re participating,” I said calmly, turning back towards the building and taking a slow breath to force my stomach to stop flip-flopping. This was just lust. I hardly knew the man, and there was no way I was having any sort of feelings for someone who was a self-declared unapologetic whore.

But I couldn’t help but think that after what had happened with Neal, falling for John was probably exactly what I deserved.

~~~


	6. Chapter 6

**John Murdoch**

 

“So let me get this straight.” I looked across the table at my best friend, my hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. “I get money, sex, and I don’t get called a whore?”

“You’re already a whore,” Larry replied with a smirk. “And the sex isn’t a guarantee. But the money is.” 

“Thank God for that.” Unlike Larry’s choice of a career, mine wasn’t hurting enough for applicants to pay for my education. Between the money Anna and I had saved growing up, our parents’ contributions, and some part-time work we managed to get by, but the standard rate for taking part in a research study would certainly make things far, far more comfortable for the next year. “How have I not gotten into this before?”

“Just don’t tell them I sent you. Or anyone. Okay?”

I smiled and reached across the table to touch his hand. “Don’t worry, Red. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

It was easy enough to talk Anna into coming with me. My sister was far less whorish than I, but just as in need of the money, and being recently single again meant she didn’t mind the idea of casual sex too much.

What I didn’t expect was Daniel.

“Oh my God, that boy is adorable and I wanna fuck him so bad.” I said as the lift left Harvard-Cambridge, sinking down into the seat and getting comfortable for the ride home.

“They were both very pretty,” Anna agreed. “It’s too bad they’re not the ones we’ll be possibly having sex with.”

“Not for the study, anyway.” I replied with a smirk.

Anna rolled her eyes. “I’m pretty sure we’re not allowed fuck the researchers.”

“Hey, there wasn’t anything in the agreement restricting our sex partners, just who we entice. I checked.”

My sister snorted. “You would.”

Despite knowing that the study wouldn’t start for at least a few weeks, Daniel was never far from my mind. I’d unexpectedly been more charmed by Ben’s Omega twin that I had been by anyone in a long time. When the treatment and monitoring equipment arrived from Harvard-Cambridge I could hardly stand the anticipation of waiting to see him, counting down the days until my first interview.

When the arranged time finally came I pulled on my visor and gloves for immersive eagerly. But when the virtual environment for the interview session loaded I was surprised to find not the gorgeous little blond boy that I’d expected, but an unfamiliar older woman with short blond hair.

“John Murdoch? I’m Doctor Meredith Schreber. I just have a few questions for you, this won’t take long.”

I stared at her. “You’re not Daniel.”

Her eyebrows knit together as she looked up at me. “Aren’t you the smart one. No, I’m only the head of the study.”

“Oh.” I felt a rush of embarrassment. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. I was just expecting…”

“Someone infinitely better looking?” She smirked, the environment creating a chair for her as she sat down. “My nephew is indisposed. So let’s get this over and done with, shall we?”

I sat down in my desk chair as well, knowing that immersive would sense my movement and render my surroundings accordingly. The Doctor didn’t have many questions, but I felt distracted, unable to keep my thoughts from Daniel and my disappointment.

“Thank you, Mr. Murdoch. That is all. We’ll send someone out next week for your samples.” She disappeared before I could question whether or not that someone would be Daniel.

I paced back and forth across the main room of the residence I shared with my sister restlessly, warring with myself. When Anna came out of her room I turned to her almost accusingly. “Did _you_ get Daniel?”

Anna shot me a look. “No, I got a very nice doctor named Liv. You didn’t seriously think they’d let the students interview us, did you?”

I opened my mouth, then closed it again, frowning. “Fuck it. I’m messaging him.”

“You sound obsessive.”

I stuck out my tongue at her. “Bite me.” Going back into my room, I sent Daniel a message. We’d only met once, so he’d have to accept me into his network to read it, but I was confident that he would.

A few hours later I received a reply. _’I’m sorry, John. May and I had a project to finish. Were you serious about only wanting me to do your interviews?’_

 _’Of course, why wouldn’t I be?’_ I wrote back, suddenly worried that I’d completely misread the situation or messed things up. _’Does this mean someone else will be coming next week? I was really looking forward to talking to you.’_

There was no reply for a short time, and I couldn’t help but think that I’d come on too strong or offended him. _’I’ll see what I can arrange,’_ came the reply, finally. _’In the meantime, would you like to speak on immersive?’_

I felt a rush of joy and quickly sent back my connection information, pulling back on my equipment.

Maybe I did have a chance after all.

As we got to talking, I was surprised to find Daniel was incredibly well-versed on the subject of theater. It was easy to connect with him, chatting about the productions that were booming in Grand New York, about school, about things I’d worked on. He seemed softer, quieter than he had been when we’d met, when his focus had been on the project. I found it even more charming, and I found myself thinking strangely how much I appreciated this opportunity to speak with him, even though my intentions were fully to get him into bed as soon as possible.

“What are you working on right now?” he asked, and I grinned, excited for the opportunity to wax passionate.

“Oh, our project right now is amazing. The director just transferred here from California, she has the most brilliant ideas. It’s a dual cast, gender bent version of The Great Gatsby - all three leads are male, or female depending on the night you go, and all played by sets of male-female twins. You should come see us. We have segregated theater seating and everything.” 

Daniel looked intrigued. “What an interesting way to explore the relationship dynamics. And your part?”

I felt a thrill of pride in my stomach. “Anna and I both play Gatsby. It’s not the lead, of course, but it’s arguably a far more challenging part, don’t you think?”

“Undoubtedly. It would be interesting to see that casting extended to the three reproductive types as well. Do you play Gatsby as an alpha?”

I shook my head. “Gatsby is undoubtedly a beta, but he’s trying to pass as an alpha. It’s part of the tragedy of his character. He wants so badly to be what he isn’t that he’s willing to give up all the wonderful things that he is.”

Daniel’s smile seemed wistful. “Buchanan, then. He’s the alpha.”

“Of course. And coveted Daisy, with all the grace and magnificence and beauty of an Omega….”

Daniel looked suddenly startled. “You think that?”

More than anything, I wanted to reach out and run my fingers through his golden hair, which had looked feather soft when I’d met him. Instead I stepped close and took his hand in mine, stroking my other hand up his arm to rest on his shoulder, knowing that the sense jacket he wore would transfer the sensation. “I think you’d be a beautiful Daisy.”

For a moment, Daniel held my gaze, blue eyes wide. Then he looked away, lips pressing tightly together, visibly fighting with emotion. When he spoke, his voice was low and soft. _“For a moment the last sunshine fell with romantic affection upon her glowing face; her voice compelled me forward breathlessly as I listened - then the glow faded, each light deserting her with lingering regret, like children leaving a pleasant street at dusk.”_

Even through immersive, the tone and timbre of his voice was rich and almost hypnotically beautiful, and when he finished the passage I found myself wishing that he’d continued on with more. It took me a moment to find words, clearing my throat. “You know the story well.”

“I own a hardbound, physical copy, if you’ll believe it,” he replied, still not looking at me, a strange distance in his expression. “I would have very much liked to be involved in the stage production of it.”

“Why haven’t you been? You have such a beautiful voice for theater. You could make the entire audience swoon….”

He looked up at me, and for a moment I saw such an intense hurt and longing in his expression that I didn’t know how to react. Suddenly, the rendering of his avatar flickered and faded, though he hadn’t disconnected. He’d taken off his visor. “I’m sorry,” I heard, distantly. “Please give me a moment.”

I waited quietly, awkwardly, torn between concern for him and panic that I’d somehow hurt him unintentionally. Finally he came back, looking more composed.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “It’s just a bit of a sensitive topic for me. Forgive my embarrassing behavior.”

I quickly shook my head. “Not at all, I’m sorry to upset you.” I bit my bottom lip, watching him for a moment before asking hesitantly, “Would you like to talk about it?”

His lips tightened, and he looked away. “There’s not much to tell. I thought I was beta until I was almost 17. Obviously I’m not, so I had to give up on the theater.”

“But Omegas can still - “

“Can they?” He cut me off sharply. “Are there any in your production, John? In your school, even?”

“They… have their own segregated classes,” I admitted, frowning. “I’m sorry.”

Daniel shook his head, then gave me a too bright smile. “It’s all right. I’ll just have to live vicariously through you.”

The idea made me feel a strange tenderness towards him, and a shiver of exhilaration. “Of course. I’ll be your champion. I’ll tell you anything you want.”

He laughed softly, taking my hand and squeezing it gently. “You really are something else. Do you have time to talk again tomorrow?”

“Would you be willing to help me run lines?” I gave him a hopeful smile.

I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone actually blush before, but Daniel did, looking down and giving another soft laugh. “I’d like that very much.”

~~~

**May Jensen**

I knew Anna Murdoch was going to be trouble the first time I saw her.

But I liked trouble. Especially when it was in the form of a curvy, dark-haired beta girl with smiling blue-green eyes and kissable rosebud lips. We’d added each other to our networks even before she’d agreed to take part in the study, and a week later she was back in my residence, arriving on a late-night lift from Grand New York with a case of wine coolers.

“I should probably tell you that I’m rebounding,” she said between kisses, and I gave a soft hum of understanding, already drunk on the feel of her curves under my hands without needing to open a single cooler.

“That’s all right. I like fucking broken-hearted women.”

Her fingers slipped under the hem of my shirt, her caress a silken tease on my waist “What about angry women who’ve put up with subpar sex for way too long?”

I pulled back to grin at her. “Oh, honey. I can _definitely_ make up for that.”

When I’d first become sexually active I’d avoided going home with beta women. It seemed too complicated. Omega women were for ravishing; if I wanted to be ravished, I found a boy. Then, in a moment of heartbroken drunkenness, I’d gone home with an older woman from an off-campus bar and quickly realized that I could have absolutely everything I wanted in one beautiful, sexy package. I even started thinking that maybe when I was ready to have a family I’d try dating some alpha women and see how things went.

For now, though, I couldn’t think about wanting anything but Anna.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with an Omega woman,” she confessed as we lay spread across my bed after round three, boneless, sweaty and sated. “I’ve just met so many wilting wallflowers, you know?"

I turned into her, stroking my hand along her waist to cup one pert, soft breast, smoothing my thumb over her nipple. "Clearly you just needed to meet one with an extensive collection of strap-ons."

She laughed softly, arching closer, pressing into my touch as she smoothed a hand over my hip. "More than just the strap-ons. You're so passionate and confident and beautiful... make me feel so sexy, May...."

"You _are_ sexy," I replied, leaning in for a soft, lingering kiss, reveling in the sweetness of her lips and the soft gasp I pulled from them as I rolled her nipple between my fingers. "Can hardly keep my hands off you."

Anna whimpered, stroking her hands up my stomach, cupping my breasts as she kissed me more hungrily. "Trying to get me started up again? You're insatiable."

I wrapped my thigh over hers, pressing our hips together and rocking against her teasingly. "You should come back next weekend when I'm in heat. If you think you can survive it."

I could feel the effect my words had on her arousal, and she pressed her thigh between mine and against my sex, a hand on the small of my back to encourage me to rock against her. "Mmmm. You're a whole lot of sexy, but I'm up for the challenge." She squirmed closer to me, pressing our breasts together as she sucked on my bottom lip, growing harder against my hip. "Can I fuck you, this time? I'll entice you, if you want."

I felt a surge of arousal, grinding against her thigh unashamedly. "Oh, honey... if you entice me I'll ride you reverse cowgirl and fuck you with that vibrator again."

"Oh god, yes."

Her pheromones were intoxicating enough that I was almost too desperate to follow through with my plans. It was worth it, though; Anna behind me, propped against my headboard as I rode her, arching up to kiss my shoulder and stroke her hands over my breasts. When her fingertips found my clit it drove me wild, and I found myself grinding down on her desperately, not even trying to hold back my cries. I was coming before I knew it, crying out as pleasure washed over me in waves. "Oh god, Anna - !"

Anna chuckled, low and pleased, still rocking into me slowly as she stroked my hips. "Told you I'm up for the challenge."

~~~

 

**John Murdoch**

I’d never felt more exhilarated than I did after talking to Daniel, and it brought such energy and zeal to my classes that even my teachers remarked on it. I found myself breathlessly anticipating our sessions together on immersive and counting down the hours until them.

And if the thought of going out and hooking up was completely gone from my mind, well… That was probably the treatment I’d started, wasn’t it?

 _’I have a line on super cheap student tickets to Les Miserables on Saturday night,’_ I messaged him halfway through the day on Thursday. _’I’d really like to take you. Do you think you could fit it into your schedule while you’re here?’_

It was a gamble, I knew. There were quite a number of trial participants he needed to meet with in the city; it would be incredibly self-centered of me to presume that he could devote so much time to me. Still, I waited breathlessly for his reply.

 _’I can arrange it,’_ came the message, finally. _’I’d like that very much, John. Thank you.’_

The next two days seemed to take forever. As the time of my appointment approached on Saturday I could hardly focus on anything, fluttering around my residence and tidying things that didn’t even need tidying.

Finally the door chimed.

Heart pounding, I crossed the room to open it, and found myself instantly at a loss for words. Daniel was polished and perfect, dressed head to toe in the vintage formal wear that was so popular with academics; a perfectly tailored three piece brown cashmere suit and matching fedora, with gold cufflinks, a tie pin, and a gold chain that stretched from a clip on his vest to the breast pocket. He was carrying a brown leather handbag in a style I’d never seen outside of theater or history books. Impulsively, I reached out to take his free hand, pressing a kiss to the back and then holding it to my cheek, relishing in the warmth of his skin.

Daniel flushed, his voice husky as he looked up at me. “Hello, John.”

“It’s really good to see you again,” I managed to say, before being startled by my twin’s sudden appearance at my side.

“Sorry lovebirds, but I’ve got places to be. Can we get this interview over and done with, Daniel?”

“Oh!” Daniel flushed darker, tugging his hand from my grasp. “Of course. If there’s somewhere we can speak in private?” He glanced back to me. “We’ll only be a few moments, John.”

It was long enough for me to dive into my closet for something appropriate.

I had a tuxedo, of course, a gift from my parents and a basic requirement for anyone who wanted to attend any serious, high-end theater event. But it seemed a bit of overkill. I settled on a slate gray dinner jacket with only a touch of modern flair to the sheen of the fabric, wearing it over a darker gray button-down. I was just tying my scarf when I heard Daniel and my twin in the main room again.

Anna looked me up and down as I came out of my room and smirked. “I’ll be gone until Monday morning. Don’t wait up for me.”

I stared at her as what she was saying set in. “What the hell are you going?”

“That’s for me to know and you not to find out.” She shouldered an overnight bag, stepping into the lift she’d held when Daniel had arrived. “Have fun, boys.”

Daniel stepped closer to me as the lift doors closed, setting his bag down on the end of the sofa and reaching up to run his fingertips along the sleeve of my jacket. “You clean up very nicely, John.”

“I have such a handsome date that I had to try and dress to match,” I replied. More than anything I wanted to pull him to me, to kiss him breathless and do everything that I’d wanted to so badly since I’d met him. But I had a feeling that if I started then we’d definitely end up missing the play. Instead I reached up to stroke my fingers over his cheek, reveling in the soft warmth of his skin. “You look really, really good.”

Daniel leaned into my touch, lips parting on a soft gasp as he returned my gaze with so much desire that I almost forgot about the play altogether. Then he seemed to catch himself, stepping back. “I need to take your samples, if you don’t mind. Please have a seat?”

I sat, watching him take a sealed box with my name on it from his bag, opening it and taking a sampling device much like the once I was used to in medical offices. He fastened it around my right wrist, adjusting the fit with a focused precision before turning it on. “You’ll feel sharp prick and some heat,” he said apologetically, and I tried not to wince as I did.

“That wasn’t too bad,” I said. “Is this it?”

“For samples, yes. The monitoring device that dispenses the treatment for you sends daily updates back to us. These samples are just for further testing.” Daniel hesitated for a moment. “There is the interview as well, but if you don’t feel comfortable answering these questions with me I can certainly arrange for you to do it over immersive with another team member…”

I smiled and shook my head. “No, it’s fine. Please go ahead.”

“All right.” Daniel set a small recording device on the coffee table and activated it. “For the record, please state your full name, date of birth and reproductive type?”

I did so, answering his questions as best I could about how I was feeling, if I’d noticed any changes in my appetite or sleep patterns. Then he paused for a moment, glancing down as his cheeks colored adorably pink, clearing his throat. “Have you experienced any changes in sexual desire?”

That I knew with certainty. “Absolutely not.”

“And sexual activity?”

I hesitated. “Yes, but don’t really think that’s because the trial. Wait, am I actually taking the drug? Or am I part of the control group?”

“We won’t know until the first round of intensive testing,” he replied, voice soft as he watched me.

“You don’t even know?” I pressed, and he shook his head.

“No. I’m sorry, John. The first month and set of trials are necessarily double-blind. Would you like to continue the interview another time?”

“I’m okay. Please continue.”

Daniel wet his lips. “Could you please describe any changes you are experiencing?”

“I haven’t hooked up with anyone since around a week before the trial started,” I answered without hesitation, holding his gaze and deciding to be completely truthful with him. While my intentions in the beginning had just been to get him into bed as soon as possible, the more time I spent with him the more I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. “I’ve been busy with school. And there’s someone that I’ve been talking to long-distance. He’s the only one I want to be with at the moment.”

I watched Daniel draw a sharp breath, lifting one hand as if to reach for me and then placing both firmly against his thighs. “And you haven’t enticed anyone since the trial started?”

I shook my head. “No. I’m not allowed to, am I?”

“No. We just need to verify.” He swallowed nervously. “Are you still willing to participate in the intensive trials at Harvard-Cambridge in two weeks?”

“Of course. Unless you - “ I caught myself, and stopped. “I mean, I might have to reconsider it if my new… if my friend were to ask me not to.”

“Please let us know as soon as possible if that happens,” Daniel replied, reaching over to turn off the recording, then taking the sampling device off my wrist, sealing it in plastic and tucking it back in the box with my name on it. “I don’t mind,” he said softly, though I didn’t miss the way his hands trembled.

I leaned close, reaching up to cup his cheek in my palm again. “Daniel, I’m serious. If you know that I’m in the control group and you don’t want - ”

“I need you in the study,” he replied, cutting me off. “Please, John. There’s so much more at stake here than my feelings. In any case, I can’t expect to monopolize your attentions.”

“But you do,” I replied softly. “The more we talk, the more you’re all I can think about.”

Daniel looked up at me, eyes wide and gaze conflicted. Then he closed the space between us, lips trembling as they found mine, arms wrapping up around my shoulders. I moaned softly and pulled him closer, tossing his hat on to the coffee table and stroking my fingers through the coveted softness of his hair. I knew for a certainty that the trial couldn’t be affecting my sex drive; my longing and desire for him was overwhelming. It was hard to think about anything other than getting him naked and under me as soon as possible, and I pressed him back into the crook of the couch so I could be closer to him. I stroked my hands hungrily over the fine fabric of his suit, completely lost in his kisses and the warmth of his body against mine until his hand pressed to my chest, breaking from my lips with a gasp. “John, please stop….”

I forced myself to draw a slow breath, forcing myself to give up on his lips and nuzzling his hair instead. “I’m sorry,” I murmured. “You don’t know how incredibly intoxicating I find you….”

He gave a soft, shaky laugh. “You’d be surprised,” he murmured, and swallowed audibly. “John, I - forgive me for this is too much to ask, but… I need to take things slow.”

I pressed a soft kiss to his hair, then drew back obediently. “You need to wait and see what trial group I’m in.”

He looked suddenly surprised. “No. No, believe me, that doesn’t concern me. But I…” He stopped, sitting up again and straightening his clothes distractedly, seeming almost skittish. “The thing is, I’ve basically spent my entire adult life jumping into bed with anyone I wanted,” he said, not meeting my gaze. “It hasn’t really worked out for me. I want….” He let out a soft breath and looked up at me. “I _like_ you. I’m… not really used to feeling the way I do about you. It’s… a bit frightening, to be honest.”

He seemed so incredibly vulnerable, and at the same time, his words created a strange resonance within me. More than anything I wanted to calm him, reassure him. I reached for his hand, nuzzling the back of it and pressing a kiss to his skin. “I’m happy to do anything you ask me to,” I told him, squeezing his hand gently. “Can I take you out tonight, still?”

“I’d be extremely disappointed if you didn’t,” he replied, smiling warmly at me as he stood. “May I leave my equipment here?”

I smiled, encouraged by the fact that he trusted me enough to come back here with me afterwards. “Of course.”

There was a small Italian place near Broadway that I loved, a little hole in the wall barely big enough to be segregated. Daniel hung his hat on the coat stand and slid close to me on the bench as we waited for food, and I gave into the urge to wrap my arm around his waist to pull him close. “Is this all right?”

He smiled at me shyly. “Yes. Thank you. I really like… I like being close to you, John. Immersive feels so frustratingly fake in comparison, and it feels like that’s all I’ve had for so long…”

I tightened my arm around him briefly. “Really? There’s been no one at school?”

He sighed, glancing away. “I’ve had lovers, of course. But not really anyone that I’ve… It’s just nice to be close to someone, sometimes. Ben and I….” He stopped.

“It must’ve been hard for you to be separated from him,” I said, not being able to imagine what it would have been like if I’d ended up Omega and Anna an Alpha.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Daniel said, finding my hand under the table and twining his fingers with mine. “It was… So incredibly lonely.” He looked up at me, forcing a smile. “I’m so thankful he has Larry, now.”

“I honestly thought Larry would never settle down, but I’ve never seen someone more in love. Your brother must really be something special. But I guess even an unapologetic whore can change his stripes for the right person.”

Daniel looked pleased, glancing down at the table. “I think… I think finding love change things.”

Thankfully the food arrived before I could say anything terribly incriminating and sappy, and it was easy to talk about safer subjects as we ate. Afterwards, Daniel stayed close to me as I took him to the theater, leaning into me in our seats despite watching the production with rapt attention. I’d seen the show a few times before, but I was surprised at how much more poignant the romantic elements were now. I’d always thought it completely trite and shallow, but now I couldn’t help but feel a sense of understanding and camaraderie with the young, romantic student. I leaned in to nuzzle Daniel’s hair, giving into the urge to croon along with the actor. “ _A heart full of you... a single look and then I knew…._ ”

I felt Daniel’s shoulder shake with laughter as he turned into me. “You’re _terrible_ ,” he hissed, smiling, and kissed me warmly.

After the production, I found myself wishing that he were a beta so that we could walk through the streets together and enjoy the lights of the city. _Or if we were mated,_ a little voice said at the back of my head that I quickly pushed away. Instead I kept an arm around him as we waited inside the Omega lobby for an available lift. “Can I take you anywhere else? Should we go out for a drink?”

For a moment he looked tempted, his tempting, rosebud lips pursing slightly. “I’d like to, but… If I let myself get drunk I’ll definitely take advantage of you.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” I couldn’t help but ask, leaning closer and lowering my voice. “You know you can’t take advantage of the willing…”

He smiled, stroking his fingers into my hair and leaning up to press a soft kiss to my lips. “It’s not a bad thing. Just… not yet. Please?”

I nodded. “Anything you want, darling,” I murmured, keeping him close as I took him into the arriving lift and prudently programmed it for home.

The ride itself was far too short, but I took full advantage of our last minutes together, trailing soft kisses along Daniel’s jaw and nuzzling his neck, trying to memorize his scent. Daniel didn’t seem to mind at all, melting into me, breath catching as I nibbled his earlobe. “Thank you so much for taking me out, John….”

“It’s been absolutely my pleasure,” I murmured, kissing down his throat and sucking at his skin. I couldn’t ignore his soft whimper of pleasure, and I pulled him closer, hands stroking down to cup his pert, perfect ass. “Just tell me I can see you again soon…”

“Soon,” Daniel moaned, hips giving a little helpless buck against mine. Then he pulled away. “Tomorrow. I’m staying at Ben’s tonight. Please come over for lunch. I’d really like us all to spend time together.”

The thought of facing Daniel’s alpha twin when I’d fucked his mate in the past – fucked his mate a hell of a lot - and currently wanted to fuck his darling brother was suddenly terrifying. “Are you sure Ben won’t mind?”

“Positive,” he promised, pressing a soft kiss to my mouth. “Please?”

I couldn’t say no to him, and especially not to a chance to be with him again. “I’d love to.”

Daniel’s smile was so sweet that for a moment I couldn’t breathe. Sadly, the lift came to a stop at my residence, and I forced myself to pull away, hitting the command to hold it temporarily as I stepped inside for his bag. But when I turned back to give it to him I found him standing just inside my front door, looking up at me hopefully. “Will you kiss me good night, John?”

I closed the distance between us without hesitation, wrapping my arms around him as I pulled him close and kissed him like I’d been wanting to all night. Daniel gave a soft, needy moan into my mouth, wrapping his arms up around my shoulders and arching up onto his tiptoes to press closer to me. I was all too happy to lose myself in the bliss of his kisses and the feel of him in my arms, clenching my free hand at his ass and squeezing just to hear him moan. I could feel his cock pressed against me through the fine fabric of his suit, as hard as I was, it made me forget every bit of propriety.

“Please stay,” I begged breathlessly, kissing hotly along his jaw. “I’ll blow you so good you won’t even remember your own name, I’ll make you come four times if you let me fuck you, oh God, Daniel….”

He gave a soft, helpless cry, fingers clenching at my back, rocking up against me so desperately that for a moment I was sure he’d agree. Then he yanked back, taking his bag from me and holding it between us like a shield as he tried to catch his breath. “John. Do something for me?”

“Anything,” I promised, never feeling so fervent about anything in my life.

Daniel wet his lips. “Can you go to bed and think about me while you jerk off? And tell me about it on immersive later?”

I forced myself to let out a long breath, wanting very much to pounce him just because of how dirty his request was and exercising every inch of self-restraint to keep from doing so. “If you promise to do the same.”

“I promise. Good night, John.” He smiled, brilliantly sweet, reaching out to touch my cheek briefly before disappearing into the waiting lift.

I sighed and turned for my room, stripping off my clothes and groaning as I fell back onto my bed. If any of my past lovers had ever worked me up like this and then left I don’t think I could’ve gotten over the frustration. But somehow with Daniel it only made me want him more. I smiled, slipping my hand into my boxers to curl around my cock, all too happy to lose myself to thoughts of his smile and his voice and the thousand and one things I wanted to do with him when he was finally mine.

~~~

It didn’t take too much self-convincing to get me to Ben and Larry’s in the morning. After all, I couldn’t disappoint Daniel. Ben would have to be okay with everything, wouldn’t he? As the lift slowed to a stop, I swallowed hard, pushing down the shiver of nervousness I felt as if I were about to step out on stage.

The door slid open to reveal Ben, who pulled me inside and into a hug of welcome. But his voice was a growl in my ear that was 100% alpha. “My brother is a sweet, delicate flower, and if you hurt him in any way I will kill you personally, slowly and painfully.” Then he pulled back, smiling at me. “Good to see you, John.”

“John!” Daniel’s greeting as he came into the entryway saved me from having to reply, and I was all too happy to move into his offered embrace, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. He squeezed me tight before pulling back. “Whatever Ben said to you, I’m sure he was kidding. Right?”

“Of course,” Ben replied, with a smile that was more shark-like than reassuring.

Still, as the afternoon progressed, I was happy to find that things became pleasantly comfortable between all of us. I still wanted to jump Daniel’s bones, of course, but it was easy enough to keep myself under control in polite company, and I was so grateful to be able to spend time with him. On top of that, was one of the first times I’d seen Larry for any significant amount time since he and Ben had hooked up and started immediately honeymooning. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed my friend, or how happy I’d be to see him so happy.

Despite myself, I couldn’t help think about how ideal it would be if Daniel and I became serious like they were. It was a thought that would’ve terrified me a month ago. But now the only thing that worried me was whether or not Daniel could ever feel the same.

~~~


	7. Chapter 7

**Daniel Carson**

After I left John’s residence all I could do was sag weakly against the wall of the lift, trying to catch my breath and think about anything other than going back to John's. I started trying to do complex mathematics in my head, and by the time the lift reached my brother’s I’d calmed down enough not to make a complete embarrassment of myself.

Larry answered the door, and stared at me. “You’re here?”

I felt myself flush. “I’m sorry, did Ben not tell you?”

His eyebrows knit together. “Yeah, of course Ben told me, but I assumed you’d end up staying with John. Um, come in, I guess.”

Ben joined us as I stepped inside, looking concerned. “Are you alright, love?”

“I could do with a drink,” I said honestly, pulling out one of the chairs at their kitchen table and sinking down into it wearily.

Ben plunked down three shot glasses, filling them all with whiskey before I could say anything. It was good enough. I lifted my glass to the two of them and then took the shot, coughing as it burned down my throat. “Ew. Thank you.”

Ben nodded, grabbing beers out of the fridge and popping the cap off one for me. “Now tell me the truth. Am I going to have to kill him?”

I choked on my mouth full of beer, barely managing not to spit it on the table. “No! Oh God, no. John was wonderful, he was such a gentleman.”

Even Larry looked slightly incredulous. “He was a _gentleman?_ ”

“He was,” I insisted. “He took me to dinner and a show and safely home again and did everything I asked and was perfectly wonderful even when I told him I wanted to wait, and – “ I pressed my fingers to my lips, looking up at Ben and feeling a rush of the strange mix of terror and elation that I felt whenever I tried to contemplate my feelings about John. “I’ve never felt like this before. About anyone. I… I think I’m in love with him.”

Ben sighed, then gave me a soft smile, reaching out to stroke his fingers through my hair. Despite his obvious concern, I could feel his unspoken support, and I relaxed under his touch.

Across the table, Larry took a long pull from the beer, then set down the bottle. “Daniel, listen to me. I’ve known the guy almost since I was in diapers, he’s the closest thing I have to a brother. He’s passionate and intense and sometimes a bit of an airhead but incredibly loyal and still one of the best guys I know. And yeah, maybe a month ago I would’ve said he was a complete whore and completely incapable of commitment, but… he’s legitimately mad about you. I haven’t seen him like this before.”

Ben’s lips thinned as he contemplated what Larry was saying. Then he gave a sharp nod. “All right, he’s allowed to date you. But I’m still gonna kill him if he hurts you.”

Everything they were saying washed over me in a wave of relief. I set down my beer, laughing softly and rounding the table to wrap an arm around each of them. “Thank you,” I breathed, placing a kiss to Ben’s hair. “Because I invited him for lunch tomorrow.”

~~~

We spent the afternoon talking over cold beers, catching up and distractedly trying to play classic card games with increasingly ridiculous rules. In the warm afternoon sunlight that streamed through Ben's living room windows it felt indulgently wonderful to just forget about school and everything responsible and just enjoy my time with these people I cared so much about. John and Larry razzed each other incessantly with the kind of adoration only two long time friends could develop, and while Ben seemed a little wary of John at first by the end of the afternoon I could tell he felt far more at ease with my new paramour.

Ben and Larry gave us a few minutes alone in the evening before I had to leave to go back to Harvard-Cambridge, and I gave in to the urge to curl up in John's lap on the couch, wanting to cuddle as close to him as possible.

John nuzzled his face into my hair, fingers tracing warm patterns over my spine. "When can I see you again? In person? I could probably come up for a day next weekend, but I have a couple of projects due that I've kind of been putting off... sorry."

I smiled, shifting to kiss him softly. "It's okay. We're ramping up for the intensives, I don't think I can get any time away next weekend, really. So... we can talk on immersive? And then the next weekend you'll be there...."

"Are you sure you're okay with me continuing?" he asked anxiously, and despite my unvoiced misgivings I couldn't help but smile at his concern.

I couldn't let my feelings get in the way of the trials. It was the one rule I'd firmly set for myself and the one that I couldn't break. Mere was already anticipating a fifteen percent dropout rate after the first intensives - which was a shame, really, because I was certain that things would get much easier once the groups were identified and we started focusing on dosage variations - and I couldn't allow myself to make that any worse. "I'm fine," I told him, trying to keep my voice light. "Maybe you could come up Friday evening….?"

He shook his head. "My cast has tech rehearsal. But I'll come up early Saturday morning. We can do breakfast before the trial."

"And then spend the rest of the day in bed? I'll be in heat..." I murmured against his ear before I could stop myself. John drew a sharp breath, then turned his face into mine to claim my mouth hungrily.

"I'd really like that," he hissed between kisses, fingers tangling in my hair. "No matter what happens. Please...."

I nodded, happy to indulge in his kisses for a short time. "Promise." Then, regretfully, I disentangled myself from his embrace, leaning down to kiss him softly. "I'll miss you."

He nodded, looking suddenly emotional as he stood and pulled me into his arms again. "I'll miss you so bad."

For a moment I regretted my decision to wait. Then I pulled back, stroking a hand over his cheek indulgently, then finally pulling away to signal for a lift and say my goodbyes to my brother.

~~~

I tried my best to focus on my work over the course of the next few weeks, taking comfort in structured tests and objective data. Mere had given the entire research team access to all of the data we'd collected so far in both phase 1 and 2 of the trials, and highly encouraged May, Leon and I to analyze it to our hearts content. None of it could be linked to individual participants, and it was good to turn off my emotions about my personal life and dig into the meat of the study.

May had always been the first to rise to the challenge of any debate when we'd had classes together. And while I'd originally written off Leon's shyness, over the past two years of working on the project together he’d become confident enough to hold his own even against May. After a long weekend of conducting interviews over immersive, I smuggled a couple bottles of wine into one of the data labs and we proceeded to get fabulously toasted while going through everything, finding the smallest similarities in the data and using them to come up with increasingly wild ideas about the direction of the study. By the end of it we each had sorted the participants into treatment and control groups based on our own pet theories, none of which we could agree on.

"Well, why don't we put money on it?" May tried to empty one of the wine bottles into her cup only to find it empty, and pouted. "Daniel, I'm drinking your wine."

"Please," I replied, rubbing my eyes. "I'm way too shitfaced to put money on anything."

"I'll take your money," Leon replied, stopping the slow spin of the chair he'd settled in and spinning the other way. "I will take the hell out of your money, and so will Daniel."

"Ask me tomorrow," I insisted, finding another bottle and tipping the dregs into the cup that had formerly been mine.

"Don't put goddamn merlot in my Riesling. Your Riesling," May complained, but drank it anyway. "Come on, Daniel. Or do you just not want to admit that the brainchild might finally be wrong about something?"

"I'm not wrong, I'm just drunk," I replied, a little testily.

May snorted, lifting a hand to give Leon a comical aside. "He's getting his brain sucked out through his dick," she said, tonguing her cheek suggestively and sending Leon into peals of laughter.

"Bitch," I shot back good-naturedly, then took a deep breath and tried to clear my head. "All right. One question first. Leon, which group are you in?"

He wrinkled his nose at me. "I won't know until I'm half dressed and possibly completely fucked next week."

"God, stop it. You have a theory. I know you. Which group do you _think_ you're in?"

Leon untucked his feet from under him on the chair, regarding me. "I could lie just to throw you off."

"I'd know if you did," I shot back, smiling. "But you won't. You know that you're smart and you're secretly proud of it."

"As opposed to openly proud of it like this beautiful cocky bastard," May responded, poking my leg with the butt end of a bottle.

"Stop distracting him," I stuck my tongue out at her, then turned my attention back to Leon. "Well?”

“I…” he hesitated, eyebrows knitting together slightly. “I think I’m in the control. It’s a little bit frightening to think about, honestly.”

May’s demeanor softened immediately. “Are you having second thoughts? No one would blame you if you wanted to pull out – “

Leon shook his head quickly. “No. I’m committed. Having sex with an alpha will just tick another thing off my bucket list, so to speak.”

“I’m a bit envious, I won’t lie,” I replied, winking at him. “I’ve heard it’s wild. You’ll be fine. And I will put money on my groupings, by the way. Let’s say - whoever has the most participants in the right group gets one school related favor from each of the losers. Whatever reporting or monitoring or weekend bullshit Mere asks us to do.”

May wrinkled her nose. “That’s not fair, you already get the New York visits, golden boy.”

“I wouldn’t mind going to New York,” Leon mused. “I’m in.”

“You still sure you’re right?” I teased May.

”Of course. And if I win, I’m definitely taking a weekend in New York.”

We each took a copy of the others’ work and shook on it, and I didn’t think much on it again until a few days later, when I was reviewing and finalizing the weekend’s intensives. The scheduling program was robust enough to ensure the right match of trial participants while still taking their availability into account, and I was tempted to take the finished schedule back to my classmates to see if it changed the ideas we’d already come up with.

Moving on to Saturday's schedule, I auto-filled the first participant slot and found myself staring at Leon’s name. I felt my pulse begin to race. If Leon was right, then I’d been given an easy way to determine John’s group. Or at least whether he was in the same group as Leon.

Part of me knew I shouldn’t. But it wasn’t like we knew for sure, right?

Before I could question myself any further, I filled in John’s information and added one of the alphas I knew from the faculty, then hit submit.

_Trial Booked._

I let out a long breath and forced myself to move on the next appointment, not sure whether or not I'd just made things worse.

It was not until much later that I recalled the first time I'd gone to bed with Leon, and the fact that the alpha I had scheduled for their trial - a professor we’d had in the intake program who I’d quite liked - had the given name of Frank. But that had to be just a bizarre coincidence, right? And in any case, it was too late to change it now.

~~~

 

**May Jensen**

It had been a long time since I'd felt so immediately comfortable around someone as I did around Anna. It was hard not to want to be around her all the time. I hadn't asked her for anything serious, but she seemed to enjoy my company just as much as I did hers, and despite a busy schedule in rehearsals at school for a play she was starring in she managed to escape up to Harvard-Cambridge for at least a short time every weekend to see me.

"Are you going to be okay next week?" She asked a week before the intensives, as she was preparing to leave.

I'd asked myself that question a few weeks previous, thought it through, and decided I was fine. I smiled, leaning in to kiss her softly. "I'll be fine. You're far too addicted to my cocks to get swept away by some Alpha."

She laughed softly, slipping her arms around my waist. "I love far more than just your sex toys, sweetheart."

Her words sent a surge of warmth through me, and I nuzzled the silken strands of her dark hair, holding her close. "I adore you, you know." Then I pulled back, suddenly worried. "Are you going to be okay next week?"

She nodded, smiling. "I will be now. As long as I can spend the rest of the weekend with you."

It didn't stop me from feeling nervous Friday afternoon as I approached my boss. "Mere... do you think I would be able to observe a little tonight?"

I watched Mere regard me for a moment, considering the request. I'd always admired Meredith Schreber; as both an Omega woman and an incredibly successful professional in her field. I'd been very fortunate to join her research team, and though I'd never tell her, I thought her and Liv were the most adorable couple I knew. "You may. I think you can keep your head."

"Hey!" Daniel complained, overhearing. "You said I wasn't allowed to."

"Stop being competitive. You don't even want to," she replied, giving him a bemused look. "Anyway, it's not a peep show." She ruffled his hair as she passed by on her way out of our workroom. "Go home and watch some porn."

Daniel wrinkled his nose at me. "You just want to a leg up on seeing if your theories prove correct."

"Of course," I retorted, but my heart wasn't in it.

In Daniel's expression softened as he stood, stepping close to touch my shoulder. "Hey... you okay?"

I nodded. "I just want to make sure everything goes okay, you know? Anna and I...." I stopped, and he smiled.

"I figured as much. I'm not as gutsy as you, though, I won't be here tomorrow." He glanced down and snorted softly. "Mere forbid it before I could even ask, anyway. I think she might suspect I have something going on with someone."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," I told him, trying to believe it myself.

He let out a soft breath, nodding. "You'll tell me if there's anything I need to know, right?"

I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, squeezing gently. "Promise."

I was glad he wasn't there when the trials started. The control group seemed fine, happy enough to drag their alpha into one of the two unmonitored "bonding rooms" that were attached to our test rooms. The treatment group, however, became increasingly agitated with their pheromones at full strength, so much so that one of the head beta researchers had to stop observing and go in to forcibly remove them from the testing room. The few who'd brought companions to the trials were sent via lift to one of several suites Mere had arranged with a nearby overnight; those who didn't were given a large dose of liquid diazepam and taken to recovery rooms with medical staff nearby.

"Did you know it was going to be like this?" I asked Mere quietly as we waited for the next subjects, and she glanced away.

"I was optimistic that it wouldn't be, though we prepared for this. I thought maybe a few, but... the way betas transmit pheromones isn't the same as us, you know. Coercion is more like releasing several days of being in heat all at once. The treatment has never affected any of the phase one participants like this. But as difficult as it is, this is the kind of results we need to prove its effectiveness to the assholes in charge of this fucked up world.

I nodded, glancing towards the displays as the Alpha participant for the next trial was led into Room A, sat down and blindfolded. A moment later I found myself staring at Anna, and my heart stopped. She was wearing one of the white hotel robes we'd purchased in bulk for the study, and it made her look strangely fragile.

How could I have thought I'd be ready for this?

“All right, which one is she? The blonde, or the brunette?"

I started at Mere's words, and felt my cheeks heat up. "What?"

My project head and mentor smirked at me. "Don't look so shocked, girl. I know what a twitterpated young lesbian looks like.”

“She does,” Liv agreed in a cheerful chirp.

Mere chuckled softly at her mate, then repeated her question. “Your girl. Which one is she?"

I wet my lips nervously, glancing back to the screen. "... the brunette."

"Hm. Good." Mere jerked her head towards the door. "Go wait in the lobby."

"What?" I felt a surge of panic seize me. "Are you saying I won't want to see this?"

"I'm saying, you silly girl, that she's going to need you." She raised her eyebrows pointedly. "Very soon."

"Oh!" Realizing what she was saying, I stood up fast enough that I almost knocked the chair over, bolting for the door. "Thank you!"

Reaching the lobby, I tried not to pace. Of course Mere would know the treatment groups. I just hadn't realized how relieved I'd feel. When I heard the lift from the testing labs arrive, I was there in a heartbeat.

Anna seemed disoriented, her body shaking and her skin flushed, her fingers clenched at the edges of her robe. A sudden clarity came into her eyes when they met mine, and she gave a sob of relief, throwing herself into my arms. “Oh God, May. Take me home, please, I need you so bad….”

“Good, here you are. Take her clothes.” Connor, the beta who’d been playing bodyguard, handed me a bag and give me a wink. “I’ll tell Mere you two got home safe, yeah?”

“Thanks,” I replied, managing to pull Anna through the lobby despite the fact that she was pressing increasingly heated kisses up my neck. Thankfully the lift came within seconds, and once inside I pressed her back against the inside, claiming her mouth in a kiss. I stroked my hands over her hips and waist, cupping her breasts through the robe and not trying to stop her as she went to work on the buttons of my shirt.

I felt her shudder and buck up against me, her words almost a sob. “Please tell me you’ll fuck me. Please, May, I’ll do anything, God it aches so bad….”

”I’ll fuck you so good, gorgeous,” I murmured into her ear, shifting to push a hand into the folds of her robe and up her thigh. Anna was slick and aroused, and I slid two fingers into the satin heat of her sex, fucking her slowly. Despite not being able to feel the effect of the pheromones that were driving her crazy, I had gone into heat a day before, and having Anna writhing helpless against me meet me feel both protective and possessive of her as well as wildly aroused. With the relief that I felt from finding out she was in the treatment group, all I wanted to do was make love to her.

Anna’s breathless whimpers and the way she thrust against my fingers made me feel more aggressive about it, too. I nipped her earlobe, fucking her more firmly as I growled in her ear. “You want my cock, don’t you, sugar? You want to feel my hard cock inside you, you want me to knot you - ”

“Oh!” Anna jerked up against me, clenching around my fingers with a sob as her body shook with orgasm. The lift opened into my residence, but I ignored it for a moment, pressing soft kisses to her skin she caught her breath. “Oh God, May….”

I eased my fingers from her, watching her as I brought them to my lips to lick them, slow and deliberate. “Did that take the edge off, honey?”

Anna gave a breathless, helpless laugh and shook her head. “Can we please go to bed? I’m sorry….”

“Shhh…” I pulled her through my residence and into my room, only pausing to drop the bag with her clothes onto my bureau before backing her up to the bed, shedding my blouse and skirt as I did. I pulled her robe undone and then tossed it aside, stroking my hands hungrily over her bare skin. Anna arched against me, yanking my bra undone so she could push her hands underneath to cup my breasts.

“I want your biggest,” she murmured, leaning back against the bed and wrapping one thigh around me. “I can handle it. Please….”

I shed my bra and pulled the blankets aside, pressing her back into the pillows, relieved to see her a little more in her right mind. I kissed down her neck and over her breasts, sucking at one hungrily. “I really do have one that can knot you, if you want….”

Anna whimpered, and when I looked up she had her bottom lip between her teeth, eyes wide as she nodded.

It only took a moment to find what I needed, pushing aside my thong and easing the short end of the black rubber double ended dildo up inside me. It had a thin hose with a bulb on the end, which I tucked into the band of my panties as I moved back between her thighs. Anna’s fingers dug into my back as she pulled me close, kissing me desperately, and I barely had time to position myself properly before her thighs were tight around my waist, pushing me deep into her.

I kissed her hard, stealing her cries as I began to fuck her, hips snapping into her. The dildo shifted inside me as I did, the ribbed crook rubbing against my clit, sending shudders of pleasure through me. I broke from her lips to kiss her throat, nipping at her skin and letting my voice become low and husky. “Just wanted me to claim you, didn’t you?” I slowed, pressing deeper, giving the bulb the few pumps and knowing she’d feel the knot of the toy thicken inside her. “Wanted to show me who you belonged to, did you?”

”Yes - !” Anna gave a soft sob, her thighs tightening around me, hips rocking up against me. “Only you, May. Just you….”

I kissed her again, stealing her whimpers, slowing my thrusts to gradual rock as I slowly pumped the toy to full inflation inside her. “That’s my girl. Take my knot. Do I feel good, filling you up tight?”

“So good,” she whimpered, hips grinding up against me. “Fill me up so good, May, I’m gonna come so hard…!”

I gave a harder thrust against her, slipping a hand between us to curl around her erection. “Come on, love, come for me…”

She was far too worked up to disobey, her pleasure a trembling cry as she bucked up against me helplessly. “God, May!”

I continued to rock with her slowly as she caught her breath, pleased and more aroused by watching her come, pressing soft kisses to her face and lips. “My sweet girl, so good, Anna…”

Anna smoothed one hand up my back to stroke through my hair, rocking up against me with a low moan. “I wanna make you come…”

I grinned against her mouth. “I don’t know, are you ready for round three?”

She laughed, breathless and a little helpless. “Oh God, yes.”

I grinned. “Then I know just the thing.” Urging her thighs from around my waist, I eased off of my end of the toy, still rocking it against her to tease her. She was still hard, and I sank down easily onto her, stroking my free hand over her breasts. I was already so keyed up that I knew it wouldn’t take long. “God, yes….”

Anna drew a shaky breath, running her hands up my thighs to grasp my hips as she rocked with me. “Oh God. You’re so incredible….”

I laughed breathlessly, gasping as her thumb found my clit. “I just really… ooh, fuck…. I really enjoy fucking you…!” My breath caught as pleasure surged, and I moved harder on her, riding the edge of orgasm for a few exquisite moments before crashing hard. Overwhelmed with pleasure and joy, I leaned down to kiss her breathlessly as I came back to myself, letting her take control. My body was happy to keep going, and Anna knew well how I liked it, taking us both to the heights of passion again for a final, earth shattering orgasm.

As much as I want to collapse into a little pile of well fucked goo, I roused enough energy to take care of the toy, curling up against her and tugging a sheet over us to ward off the evening’s chill. “Feeling better, honey?”

“Mmm-hmmm…..” Anna’s hum sounded decadently sated, and she turned to wrap her arms around me, pulling me in for a slow, warm kiss. “Thank you so much….”

“Always my pleasure,” I replied, reveling in the perfect joy and contentment of having her in my arms.

Anna smiled, running her fingers through my hair, watching me quietly for a moment. Her voice was soft when she spoke again. “Did you mean what you said, about me being your girl? Or was that just sex talk?”

I smiled, feeling strangely shy. “I’d really like it if you were.”

Suddenly her smile was shaky, lips trembling as she kissed me, emotion stealing her voice to a whisper. “I am, I am. I’m so in love with you.”

“Then I’m yours for always, my love,” I managed to reply, suddenly just as overwhelmed as she.

~~~

 

**John Murdoch**

As the intensive trials grew closer, I watched Daniel quietly become more stressed out, though he didn’t say anything to me. I tried my best to distract him, talking about school and the play and on a few occasions letting myself wax poetic on what I planned to do with him when we were together again. I hoped it helped.

On the Thursday night when we met he pressed close to my avatar despite the fact that I didn’t own a jacket. It didn’t matter. I wrapped my arms around him, to be my best to soothe and comfort him, hoping that the slight warmth and pressure that came through my glove as I stroked his back felt slightly more real for him than it did for me.

“Let me back out of this,” I said softly.

“No.” The reply came immediately.

“I’m only in this for you, now. It’s not worth upsetting you.”

Daniel pulled back and shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I could never forgive myself if I asked you to - “

“You’re not. I’m offering.”

“No.” He let out a long breath, looking down. “John… The first time I realized what I was…” I watched his lips pressed together tightly in obvious distress. “I lost everything I loved. I lost my twin, I lost the theater, my family… everything I wanted to do with my life changed that night. I came here and went into STEM studies because I was very good at them, and because my mother prepared for the possibility. I was incredibly lucky… as far as Omegas go. So I made it my purpose to fix this. No one should have to go through what I went through, or be shuttered away wasting their potential because their field won’t take risks on Omegas. I believe in that more than anything else in the world. So I’ll be fine, I promise. No matter what happens.”

I hadn’t thought it was possible to love him anymore than I already did.

“I understand,” I said softly. “I’ll go through with it. I promise.”

He smiled, taking my hand in both of his and squeezing gently. “And then we’ll have the rest of the weekend together.”

“Aren’t you observing the trials?” I asked, and he shook his head.

“No. Mere won’t let me.” He flushed, looking down. “I think she suspects I have something going on with someone in the group.”

“And I won’t get you in trouble?”

“I’ll be fine. Only…” He hesitated, looking up at me. “Is it alright if I don’t see you until after the trial? I… I’m not certain I’ll be strong enough to let you go.”

I squeezed his hand gently. “Of course. But I’ll come to you soon as I can.”

The next day at Tech rehearsal I threw myself into my role without restraint, wanting to think about anything other than the possibility of upsetting Daniel. I didn’t hear anything from him, disappointingly, but I did receive a very late text from my sister, who’d gone up after school.

_’I’m in the treatment group. The intensive was really overwhelming. But then I found a pretty girl and had the best sex of my life. You’ll be fine tomorrow.’_

I still slept restlessly.

When I arrived the next morning I was met in the lobby by a handsome, dark-haired man with striking blue eyes. He smiled, offering a hand. “John Murdoch? I’m Neal Caffrey.”

“Pleased to meet you.” I shook his hand, thinking that if I’d met him before Daniel I would’ve tried very hard to charm him. “Are you part of the research team?”

“No, I’m part of the trial. But I’m a student here, and I agreed to help out. I’ve already had my intensive. We’ve discovered that some of the members of the treatment group are quite agitated when they don’t end up with a partner, so I’m here to play… bodyguard.”

I couldn’t resist the urge to ask. “Are you in the treatment group, then, or the control?”

He smirked, taking me through the building and into a lift. “Control. Let me tell you, that was a hell of a thing. Are you hoping for one or the other?”

I hesitated a moment before responding. “When I signed up I really wanted to be in the control group,” I admitted. “Sex with alphas is so wild. But then I met someone here… he’s a student on the research team, actually. I feel kind of silly about it, but now I’m really hoping I’m in the treatment group.”

Neal’s eyes narrowed slightly as he regarded me. “You… wouldn’t happen to be talking about Daniel, would you?”

I felt a rush of embarrassment. Of course they‘d know each other. “No, of course not. I’m not talking about anyone, I didn’t say anything. I’m sorry, please….”

He chuckled softly, looking away as lift opened and stepping out into a small waiting room. “Don’t worry, I’m not that kind of asshole. You just look like his type.” Then he turned back to me, expression serious as he held my gaze. “You really feel that strongly about him?”

I forced myself to hold his gaze. “Yes.”

“Then can I offer you a word of advice? You seem like a really nice guy, John. Don’t try and get serious with him.”

I felt the hair on the back of my neck bristle. “Why would you say that?”

He held up a hand. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean that as a threat or an ultimatum, just a word of advice. Daniel’s not exactly boyfriend material.”

I shook my head. “It’s not like that with us.”

“You think that now.” Neal’s lips pursed as he looked up at me, but I couldn’t detect any malice in his expression, only a kind of quiet sadness. “He’ll make you believe that he’s in love with you. You’ll fall for his sweetness and his vulnerability and his passion. He’ll make you believe that you have something that you don’t. But that’s not what he’s interested in. So… just be careful.”

I was about to ask him how exactly he knew all this with another lift opened up into the room, revealing a slight, sweet faced young man. He hesitated at the door. “Am I in the right place? I - “

“You’re fine, Leon. I’m just here to help.” Neal beckoned him into the room. “John Murdoch, this is Leon Husselbeck, one of the trial members and your competition today.” He smirked at those words, and Leon flushed darkly.

“There’s no competition to it,” he said, frowning. He crossed the room to disappear into an alcove behind a curtain, pulling it shut behind him.

Neal nodded toward a second alcove. “There’s a robe in there for you, if you’d like to change. I recommend it. You can put your clothes in the bag inside.”

I nodded, feeling strangely nervous as I stripped down and put on the robe. It was easier to focus on the tests than on what Neal had said about Daniel. Regardless of however he’d gotten that impression, it couldn’t be right. I’d spent too much time with Daniel to entertain the notion that what we had wasn’t real.

When I stepped out in the robe, Neal was attaching a monitoring bracelet around Leon's wrist. I let him fasten one on me as well, wincing at the sharp hot poke as the first sample was taken.

“We’ll need to take another the sample before you leave,” Neal told us, fastening my monitoring chips. “The trial room is video recorded along with your vitals throughout, but the bonding room through the open door is completely private for the control who stays. When you go inside you’ll receive some verbal instruction. Afterwards I’ll take the member of the treatment group from the room safely.”

“Thank you,” I told him, and glanced to Leon, giving him a nod. “Good luck, I guess?”

He laughed, breathless and nervous. “I guess.”

“You’ll be fine,” Neal said again. “John, you have someone to go to after this, correct? Leon?”

I nodded, trying not to feel shy about it, and Leon did as well. “Yeah, I… I’ve made arrangements.”

“All right.” Neal checked his wrist com, then smiled. “We’re ready. If one if you could take the left side of the room, and the other the right?”

Leon nodded, stepping into the room as the door opened, and I followed. Then he stopped short, so quickly that I almost bumped into him, his hands flying to his mouth in a panic.

I glanced at the blindfold Alpha that sat in front of us, a tall, dark-haired man who looked to be in his mid-40s. But surely they wouldn’t pair us with anyone we knew, would they? I caught a faint whiff of his scent, but he didn’t smell malicious. I touched Leon's shoulder, trying to express my concern in a questioning look, but he shook his head, forcing a smile before he pulled away to stand against the left wall.

I moved to the right, nervously toying with the cuff of my robe. A moment later, a low female voice came over the com. “Gentlemen, my name is Doctor Meredith Schreber, head of the study. Thank you for your participation. Today’s test will be short. Alpha, please give me your observations.”

The man’s voice was low and pleasant. “There are two male betas the room with me. Both anxious. This is all I can sense. I feel unaffected.”

“Thank you. Betas, on my mark if the both of you could attempt full coercion, please. Three, two, Mark.”

The instructions were so calm and commanding that I was following her instructions before I could question myself, summoning every ounce of remembered passion and willing my body to entice with everything I had. Arousal burned through me in a rush, and I gasped despite myself.

The Doctor’s voice was still calm. “Frank, please report.”

I heard the man draw a slow breath. “I sense nothing to my right. To my left….” His words stopped, breath coming more labored. “A very, incredibly enticing….”

I knew the revelation should have relieved me, but with arousal burning hot in my veins the knowledge of his rejection sent a surge of panic through me. On the side of the room, Leon gave a soft sob that sounded relieved, then pressed his fingers to his lips.

“I sense nothing from the right side of the room,” the Alpha said again, voice thickening. “I can only - God, I want – “ he rose and turned towards Leon, pulling the blindfold from his eyes and freezing. “Leon!”

Leon gave a soft sob and practically threw himself at the man, wrapping his arms up around his shoulders and shuddering visibly as he pressed close, gasping desperately. “Please don’t turn me away. God, Frank, please – “

I gave a soft moan, starting towards them, feeling confused and rejected when the only thing my body wanted to do was submit to this man who was supposed to be all over me. But before I could act a hand grasped my elbow, pulling me from the room. “Come with me. You’ve better places to be and someone else to fuck.”

I was vaguely aware of the Alpha murmuring soft words to the other beta, but suddenly the man next to me was far more appealing. I pressed up against his warm body before I could stop myself, knowing that he could give me what I needed. “You? Please, I’ll let you fuck me anyway you want….”

“I’d love to, but I don’t have a death wish.” The voice sounded aggravatingly calm as he deftly stepped out of my grasp, still pulling me along. I barely felt the hot sting of the sampling bracelet, and then he unfastened it. “Come on, Romeo. We’re almost there.”

“Neal!”

Daniel. _Daniel._ We had plans to make love. I gave a soft sob of relief as my gaze focused on him, and I wrapped myself around his form, moaning at delicious agony of his body against mine. “You came for me….”

“Here are his clothes,” the calm voice behind me was saying as I started mouthing kisses up the sweetness of Daniel’s throat. “Be good to him, Daniel.”

“Of course, thank you – ” Daniel caught my hand and pulled it away from his belt, stepping back, one arm around my waist to pull me with him. “Not yet, John. Come with me, we’ll be home in just a few minutes, I promise….”

I didn’t even realize I was in a lift until I felt the cold of the wall against my back and head the beep as Daniel scanned his chip for home. Then he was pressed close to me, cupping my face with trembling hands, whimpering as he claimed my mouth with his. “Oh God, John. I’m so relieved. I didn’t know what I’d do if you - I was so scared that you – “

Of course. The trials. I forced my hands to still on his body, stroking my hands from their claim on his ass to the small of his back, holding them to me and pressing my face to his hair. “I only want you,” I told him, my mind clearing a little more as I spoke. “And I hate to say this, but if you don’t fuck me as soon as possible I might literally exploded.”

“….you want me to fuck you?” There was a soft question to Daniel’s voice, but also an underlying purr that kicked my arousal back into high gear. Before I knew it I was kissing him frantically, trying to stroke him through his pants and undo them at the same time, grinding against his hip as I did. Luckily the lift opened into his residence.

Daniel yanked me inside and through to his bedroom, discarding my robe on the floor somewhere and pushing me down onto the bed under him. I managed to yank his pants undone, wrapping my fingers around the thick girth of his cock and groaning at the feel of him in my fingers. “Oh God yes, you’re so big….”

Daniel licked a hot stripe up my neck, voice low and throaty as he nipped at my skin. “All for you, all to take care of you…”

“Please,” I sobbed, giving up on his clothes and wrapping my thighs up around his waist, crying out at the press of his cock against my sex. “Daniel -!”

“Shhh…” Daniel breathed, claiming my mouth as he started to press into me, each thrust pushing deeper, taking me more completely. It wasn’t the helpless stretch of submitting to an Alpha, but the thick girth of his cock still left me feeling wonderfully filled, and each thrust sent a rush of pleasure through me.

“Oh God, yes, Daniel, fuck me so good…” I could hardly stop the words that fell from my lips as I gasped in pleasure, rocking up against him.

“Oh? Is this what you needed, darling?” He gave a harder thrust, groaning against my lips as I cried out. “Sure you wouldn’t rather have… a nice big knot stretching you open?”

The rock of our bodies together was so intoxicating that I honestly couldn’t imagine anything better. “No, no. Want you to fuck me. Want the pound of your cock - fuck, harder!”

He shifted suddenly, pulling my calves to rest on his shoulders, his hips snapping into me, burying himself to the hilt with each thrust. My hands scrambled for purchase on the bed, each thrust driving the perfect shock of pleasure up my spine. “Oh! Oh, fuck! God, yes!”

I’d never seen Daniel so disheveled and lost to pleasure, clothes rumpled and skin flushed, eyes dark behind smudged glasses as he watched me. “Come on, love, I can’t - God, gonna come so hard - “

The thought of it was the last straw, and I jerked up against him, clenching around the girth of his cock as the world whited out and I came in hot spurts between us. I heard Daniel’s voice break on a cry, his hips jerking into me desperately as he pulsed inside me and came. His breath came in soft, incredulous whimpers as he eased my legs from his shoulders, and I instinctively wrapped them back around his hips and reached to pull him to me. All I knew was that I wanted him close.

Daniel wrapped his arms around me, the fabric of his button-down cool against my skin. He nuzzled his face against my hair. “Are you all right?”

I took a slow breath, taking stock. “I… I think so. I feel much better.” I stroked a hand down his back, kissing his hair. “Mmm… So much better. Thank you for that.” Then, suddenly concerned, and I shifted to look at him. “Are _you_ okay?”

He laughed softly, and nodded. “Yes. It just wasn’t quite the way I expected the morning to go.”

I tightened my thighs around him slightly, enjoying the feeling of his softening cock still inside me. “Oh, I like being fucked just as much as I like fucking. Unless you don’t?”

Daniel shook his head, smiling. “Don’t worry, you’re not the first pretty boy that’s begged me to fuck him.”

I returned his smile, stroking my fingers through his hair. “You’ll be begging for me soon enough.”

He flushed, wetting his lips. “I certainly hope so.” He leaned in to kiss me softly. “How was the trial?”

The trial. I blew out a soft breath, thinking about it. “So different than how I thought it would be. So glad you were there, love. I felt so overwhelmed that I couldn’t even think. If you hadn’t come I might have thrown myself at that pretty blue-eyed fellow.”

Daniel drew suddenly still, seeming smaller, quieter. “Did he say anything to you?”

I thought back to Neal’s words, but shook my head. “You know him?”

Daniel swallowed, glancing away. “It’s not important. I don’t really want to think about it right now.”

“Did he hurt you?” I reached up to stroke his cheek, surprised and a little hurt when he ducked away, pulling from my embrace.

Daniel perched on the edge of the bed, clothes still askew, taking off his glasses and cleaning the smudges off the lenses with the sleeve of his button-down. “John, please. He’s not important.”

I didn’t know how to react to his sudden distance other than to try and make light of it, falling back to joking about the play he’d been helping me with. “Well, I’m sure he’s not going to come and steal you away from me with ropes of expensive pearls.”

He glanced over at me, expression far too serious. “Do you think me as fickle as Daisy Buchanan?”

I sat up as well. “Of course not. More beautiful, and never as fickle. Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not silly,” he muttered, frowning, focusing more on his glasses. “I’m sorry. I’m hormonal and grumpy and I didn’t really expect things would go this way.”

I couldn’t help but think back to Neal’s warning and wonder if there was anything to it after all. I’d been lucky that Daniel had been so accommodating to my obsessive attraction to him, and I’d never really stopped to ask him what he wanted. I stroked a hand up his back tentatively, watching his shoulders sag at my touch, then wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I didn’t want to upset you. We don’t have to talk about anything serious. We don’t even have to be serious. Just… whatever you want. Okay?”

Daniel curled into me, letting out a shuddering breath as he buried his face to the crook of my neck. “Can we cuddle and maybe nap for a bit? I just want to spend time with you and make love and not be serious at all.”

My heart sank. There was my answer, then. I’d misinterpreted this whole thing. But that wasn’t Daniel’s fault, and I couldn’t hold against him. I pressed a kiss to his hair. “Okay. I can do that.”

Daniel pulled back to look up at me, concerned. “Are you okay?”

No, I wanted to say. I’m in love with you and I’ve been a fool. But I was far too good of an actor to fall apart. I kissed him softly, giving an affirmative hum against his mouth. “I’m just tired, too. Let’s cuddle and sleep for a bit.”

We cleaned up enough to sleep, and Daniel kicked off his pants, curling up against me in his boxers and half undone button-down. It made him seem slight and vulnerable and everything I loved so much about him that Neal and warned me about. I closed my eyes and held him close, determined to enjoy our time together for what it was.

~~~

Arousal pulled me from my sleep, and a warm, pleasant stimulation on my hardening cock that my brain soon identified as someone’s mouth. I arched towards it with a soft moan, craving more sensation, reaching down to stroke my hand through feather soft hair. “Mmm, Daniel….”

I drew a sharp hiss as Daniel’s lips slid down to the base of my cock, his throat tight around the head, moaning around me as he pulled back. “I thought you’d sleep the day away.”

“And miss out on so much sexy?” I pulled him back up into my arms, claiming his mouth and making a little disgruntled noise of the feel of his shirt under my hands. “How are you not naked yet?”

He laughed softly, all melancholy from earlier gone. “I’ve been waiting for you to make me that way.”

“Well, if that’s the case…” With a little growl of challenge, I pressed him onto his back, stealing slow, deep kisses from the temptation of his rosebud lips. I let my hands stroke and explore his body as I did, unbuttoning the fine fabric of his rumpled white button-down to stroke his chest and waist. “God, you’re beautiful….”

He shivered under my touch, arching up against me, hands mapping my back and hips and the curve of my ass. “Make love to me, John. Want to be with you so bad….”

The afternoon sun peeked into his room through gaps in the blinds, making everything feel soft and warm, and I just wanted to press close to him and forget everything we talked about earlier. He’d taken his glasses off to sleep, but there was still the wide-eyed innocence to him that had first drawn me to him, and in that moment I felt so overwhelmingly in love with him that I couldn’t speak.

Daniel reached up to run his fingers through my hair, his smile heartbreakingly sweet. “The way you look at me… you make me feel so special, John.”

I sighed, leaning in to indulge in a kiss, stroking my hand and over his hips and tugging his shorts down. “I’ve never had anyone in my life like you,” I murmured against his lips, reveling in the drag of mine against their sweetness. He lifted his hips to let me pull his shorts the rest of the way off, and I ran my palm slowly up the length of his body, over his compact thigh soft with downy blond hair, over the ridge of his hip bone and the curve of his ribs.

Daniel drew a soft gasp against my lips, arching up against me to press closer, already hard against my hip. “God, John. Please, I need you…”

“I’ll take care of you,” I murmured, dropping my lips to kiss his throat, sucking at the soft skin and feeling quietly pleased as I kissed over the small red marks that I now vaguely remembered leaving there. I let myself map the tendons of his neck with my mouth, kissing and sucking on his delicate skin and feeling his pulse flutter under my lips.

Daniel wrapped one leg over my hip, urging me between his thighs, whimpering as his hips stuttering up against me. “Don’t tease, love….”

“Shh, love… I’ll give you exactly need….” I kissed him softly, reaching between us to tease him with the head of my cock before finally pushing into the sweet heat of his welcoming body. “Oh, Daniel….”

Daniel’s breathless moan was from relief as much as pleasure, and he rocked up against me, feet braced against the bed and fingers clenching the small of my back. “God yes, feels so good… Needed you so bad….”

I started rocking into him, unhurried rolls of my hips sheathing my cock to the hilt with each thrust. Despite his words he seemed completely appreciative of the pace, moving with me, breath catching in little gasps every time we came together. I pushed myself up to look down on him, pulling one of his arms from around me and pressing my lips to the palm, cupping it with the back of my hand as I nuzzled his fingers and lavished kisses down his wrist. “My sweet Daniel… beautiful, golden lover….

Daniel seemed a little overwhelmed at my words, pulling me down into his kisses and tucking his thighs up against my side for deeper penetration. He whimpered as I laced our fingers together, stroking his free hand through my curls. “God, John….! The things you do to me.…”

I gave a harder thrust to make him cry out, balancing on one forearm and reaching between us to curl my fingers around his cock. “Wanna make you feel so good, love, wanna make you forget everything but me….”

“Oh God, yes!” Daniel’s breath shuddered against me, body arching up into my thrusts, arousal slick on head of his cock as I stroked him. The fingers of his free hand dug into my back as he caught my lips desperately, whimpering against him. “Please, more - !”

I dropped my lips to his ear, moving harder, groaning as a hard snap of my hips made him cry out. “Give you anything you want, darling, God, you feel so fucking good….”

“Come inside me,” he gasped, and the idea was so dirty and possessive at the same time that it drove me wild. I cried out, trying to both keep a steady rhythm and thrust as deep inside him as I could the same time, riding the edge.

“Fuck, love, I – “ I tightened my fingers to stroke him more firmly, losing my last thread of self control and bucking hard into him as orgasm took me. Daniel’s cry was both desperate and triumphant, and I felt him shake under me as the shudders of orgasm moved through him, drawing my pleasure to earth-shattering intensity as I came.

Afterwards all I could do was hold him close, nuzzling his skin and breathing in his scent as I came back to myself. Daniel wrapped his thighs tightly around me to keep me close, his breath in soft shudders, face pressed to my hair. “Thank you. Oh God, John, I needed that so bad….”

“I’ll do that whenever you want me to,” I replied, and despite our earlier conversation I still meant it completely. Regardless of Daniel’s feelings I was his; I was going to come at his beck and call whenever he asked. And perhaps this was exactly what Neal and tried to warn me against, but I didn’t care. I loved him, and the depth and beautiful ache of that feeling was worth any sacrifice.

“Lots,” he breathed, one hand cupping my face as he kissed me, smiling against my lips. “Always. You’re so perfect….”

I let his pleasure and happiness wash over me reveling in them. I would be a concubine for this beautiful prince as long as he would have me.

~~~


	8. Chapter 8

**Leon Husselbeck**

After the first time I slept with Daniel, I let myself overindulge, pursuing the few people Daniel had mentioned and some others who had approached me in the past and just generally letting myself get fucked by anyone I wanted to. It was wild and strangely liberating, and while it didn’t have the desired effect of making me forget my feelings for Frank, I did start to accept the situation. It was stupid of me to have ever imagined that we could be anything more than a student and his mentor. Even friends. The worst part was the memory of that brief moment when I had been so certain he wanted me. But then again, I was young, and beta, and reasonably decent looking. Any attraction was certainly just superficial.

When I finally went back to see him, I felt a bit more confident, or at least more accepting. I waited at the side of his lecture hall as his last few students left, and approached his desk. “Mere was really pleased with my work, we think the phase 1 trials can start in a few weeks. She wanted me to thank you. I wanted to thank you.”

Frank smiled, making a little dismissive shake of his head. “I’m just glad to hear it’s going well.” He looked up at me, trying to keep his tone light. “How have you been, Leon? I haven’t seen you.”

I shrugged, forcing myself to grin. “Oh, I’ve been good. Busy. I kind of started seeing someone.” It wasn’t completely a lie; several of my conquests had expressed interest in something more serious, and I was even considering pursuing a few of them. A few others, both Daniel and Neal included, had left me with an open invitation to share their beds again. That I would definitely pursue.

Frank’s face was expressionless as he nodded. “I’m glad you’re well. And I suppose you don’t have any need to swing by. ”

It was true, at least for the project. I smiled and shrugged. “I might still pick your brain on some passion projects. Oh, I brought you something to take home.”

I pulled a wax paper wrapped box in the top of my shoulder bag and put it on the desk. “It’s zucchini loaf. I didn’t realize how easy baking was, it’s basically just math, right? I got a bit carried away. But thank you, really. For everything.”

Frank regarded the package for a moment, then gave a small smile, picking it up and tucking it in his bag. “Your success is thanks enough. But thank you. I look forward to trying it.”

I wanted to find some reason to stay, and for a moment I stood there in silence, longing for him as I tried to think of one. “Well… I guess I should head home. I’ll see you.”

I was halfway to the door when I heard his voice. “Leon?”

Heart pounding, I turned, taking a few steps back towards him. “Yes?”

Frank and open his mouth, then hesitated. “If you need help with anything… even just to chat, I - I enjoy working through things with you. There aren’t many who have your passion.”

I can be passionate about so many things, I wanted to say, but held my tongue. The invitation - the praise - was enough, and I resolved that if I didn’t have a project to bring to Frank that I’d damn well find and start one. “Thank you, Sir. Frank. I’d like that, too.”

I worked to keep a delicate balance in my leisure time in the coming months, allowing myself time with Frank only if I spent time pursuing others. I was certain that if I didn’t I would lose myself completely in his company. I couldn’t allow Frank to be my whole world. I often questioned his motivation in spending time with me, but in the end it didn’t really matter. Regardless of what it was, Frank was never going to make a move that would take us off school grounds, as friends or otherwise. My own motivation was no easier to understand. What was the point of putting so much energy into time with him if would never have more than this? But the thought of having nothing at all was so completely despairing that I couldn’t face it.

Agreeing to participate in the phase 2 trials was an easy choice. We needed participants. I had no mate. Possible sex with some unknown Alpha wouldn’t be that much different emotionally than the beta men I picked up in campus bars or out in the city, sometimes so drunk that I didn’t remember their names after they’d fucked me.

I tried to ignore that my level of drunkenness directly correlated to how much I longed for Frank on any given day.

Neal found me on the Omega side of the Midnight Lounge one Saturday night, already half cut after a long day with Frank. I’d been talking to a beta girl who was trying to buy me a drink, but I hadn’t quite decided if she was dominant enough to agree to fuck me.

I caught his gaze and smiled at his approach, but didn’t expect him to pull me into his arms, claiming my mouth without a word of greeting. The kiss was unusually intense for my normally playful lover, tasting of whiskey, and his fingers clenched too tight on my hips. When he broke from my mouth his voice was rough with emotion. “If you come home with me, right now, I’ll fuck you any way you want me to.”

His directness and intensity sent a flood of arousal through me, and I wouldn’t have dreamed of saying no. I glanced away long enough to see that my companion had already given up and left, then turned my attention back to him fully, sliding my arms up around his shoulders and arching closer. “I want you to fuck my brains out, hard and rough.”

His blue eyes narrowed, desire plain in his expression. “Perfect.”

We moved outside, and I pressed closer to him as the lift arrived. I wouldn’t have the courage to ask if I hadn't been half drunk, but I’d been wanting this from Neal for a while, and tonight I couldn’t think of anything else. I trusted Neal. “One more thing,” I told him, voice low, hearing a surprising roughness in my voice. “I want you to coerce me. I’ll do the same. I want sex so wild I forget my own name.”

Neal drew a sharp hiss, fingers tightening on my hip as he pulled into the lift. “Then we’re well matched tonight,” he growled, and I felt the rush of his pheromones overwhelming me and responded in kind.

I was half undressed before the lift even opened on his residence, one hand in his undone pants, wrapped around his cock, crying out as his teeth worried a hot brand of pleasure into the crook of my neck. I pushed him back inside, drunk on our frantic urgency and needing more, now. “Fuck me on the kitchen table.”

Neal gave a breathless, feral laugh, kissing me as he pushed me back against it, yanking at my pants. “Gladly.”

Moments later I found myself naked and perched on the edge, arms wrapped around his shoulders, crying out as he drove into me. He set a hard, frantic pace, nipping and sucking at my lips as his hips snapped into me. Each time our bodies came together was another hard shock of pleasure, and I gasped breathlessly against his lips, wrapping my legs around his hips for deeper penetration. “Fuck, Neal! Harder!”

“Grab the edge of the table,” he hissed, and I freed one arm to do so, crying out as he bucked up into me almost savagely. 

I could feel my pulse pounding in my ears, my cock pressed between us as we moved together, every part of me lost to the intensity of sensation and craving more. Neal’s fingers dug into my hips as he used me, but it still wasn’t quite enough. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I stretched my head back and pulled his mouth to my neck. “More. Please, God, fuck me - !”

Neal’s teeth were a brief, hot brand of pain that made me wail in pleasure. Then he pushed me back onto the table’s surface, climbing over me and taking me again in one hard thrust, slamming into me hard enough that I could feel the table shake under us. I grabbed his back, nails digging into his skin, thinking about nothing but more and harder, approaching orgasm at breakneck speed. “Oh God, Neal, please, please, please-!” My words broke on a wail as his teeth found crook of my neck again, biting down hard, making me come so hard that the world nearly blacked out around me. Still, I heard him come with a gasping sob, and unmistakably the name on his lips was Daniel’s.

For a time I could hardly breathe, let alone speak, clinging to him as I came down, trembling in the aftermath of pleasure and adrenaline. The knowledge of what had driven his savagery didn't anger me, regardless of my occasional rivalry with Daniel. Instead, it made me feel strangely reassured. It was only appropriate when I had come to this needing to escape my own demons. I could feel Neal trembling against me, but he still pressed soft kisses to my skin, pulling back to urge me off the table. “Are you okay to walk? I’ll get you to bed.”

I nodded, clinging to him as we moved, glad to collapse into his arms in bed. The blissful oblivion I’d found in sex had ebbed, leaving me feeling as empty and lonely as I had been before. Suddenly I badly wanted to talk to him, wanted someone to know what I was going through who might be able to understand and accept me without judgment.

“I’m in love with someone who doesn’t want me,” I blurted, hiding my face in his neck, fingers digging into his back.

I felt Neal gave a short, soundless laugh, his arms wrapping around me. He gave a long sigh. “Me too, sweetheart. I was hoping that would help… I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

I shook my head, closing my eyes, forcing my hands to relax on his skin. “You didn’t. I really, really needed that. If I can’t be with him I’d rather be with you right now. I just - I didn’t want to be alone. And this is so much better than being with some stranger who can’t understand….”

Neal’s arms tightened around me a little, and he pressed a kiss to my hair, fingers stroking through it. “I’ll stay with you, sweet, heartbroken boy.”

We didn’t speak of it again, and the next morning Neal was as tender with me as he always had been. In the light of day it was easier to let him lift my spirits, and I found myself seeking out his company more when my longing became too painful, needing to lose myself in the arms of someone who understood.

It meant the world to me to find Neal in the room when I arrived for my intensive. Despite my resolve, I couldn’t help but be nervous. I changed out of my clothes and into a robe, letting him fasten the sampling bracelet around my wrist. “I’m here today for you, if you want me to be,” he told me when the other participant had disappeared to change, his voice low. “If you’re in the treatment group would you like me to make love to you afterwards?”

I nodded, giving him a brave smile. “Thank you. And if not… Can I still call you later if I need you?”

Neal smiled, and nodded. “Of course.”

Moments later I was stepping into the observation room, my thoughts stumbling to a halt as my mind registered who the alpha was in front of me. 

Frank.

I could barely conceive that he’d agreed to be part of the test, let alone that he was here right now. I panicked. If I wasn’t the control could I bear to see him with someone else? If I was, could I bear to go to bed with him knowing that it was a lie?

With a rush of shame, I realized I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I wanted him. If it had to be like this, then so be it.

When the instruction came for us to coerce, I gave it everything I had.

I watched Frank stiffen as his body registered the coercion. I felt like I could hardly breathe, every inch of my being aching for him to turn towards me, and not just from the pheromones. Finally Frank spoke. “I sense nothing to my right. To my left….” I watched his breath come heavy, blindfolded gaze turning towards me. “A very, incredibly enticing….”

I gave a soft sob before I could stop myself, already overwhelmed with desire and relief, clinging to every inch of control to keep from throwing myself at him as he continued to report. “I sense nothing from the right side of the room. I can only - God, I want – “ he stood, and suddenly the blindfold was in his hands, Frank staring at me in shock. “Leon!”

I closed the distance between us before I could stop myself, wrapping my arms up around his neck and pressing up against him, desperate for him. “Please don’t turn me away. God, Frank, please – “

“Oh God.” Frank drew a shuddering breath and his arms wrapped around me, face pressed to my hair, voice low and helpless. “I won’t, precious boy, I want you so bad….”

The next thing I knew he was carrying me, his arms strong around me as he took me back into a small, dimly lit room. All I cared about was that his mouth was on mine, his kisses warm and deep and possessive as he laid me back onto the bed, blanketing me with his body. He pushed my robe open, broad hands moving over my torso, trembling as he touched me, obviously fighting for control. “God, Leon. I don’t want to hurt you.”

I arched up into his touch, every inch of me aching for sensation, and I couldn’t help but sob at the very thought of being denied. My cock was so hard that it pressed tight against my stomach, leaking precome. I couldn’t think about anything but how much I ached for him, my arousal almost frighteningly disorienting. I pushed open his robe, spreading my thighs wide, grinding up against him desperately. “Frank, please. Fuck me, I need you inside me, fuck me please, I hurt - “

Frank gave a low, helpless moan, and I felt the thick head of his cock press against me, finally breaching me, filling me in a rush of pleasure and relief. “I’ve got you,” he murmured, giving a harder thrust against me, pushing deeper. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” Then he gave a low, almost feral growl. “My Leon.”

For the moment, with my thoughts and uncertainties lost to the pleasure of him inside me, I could believe it was real. I wrapped my arms up around his shoulders, clinging tightly, pushing him deeper, gasping for breath. “Oh God, Frank. Claim me, God, please make me yours. Please knot me - ”

I could already feel him start to swell inside me, but the pleasure of it was just as strong as the intensity. Frank’s hips slowed to a rock, pushing deep into me. His breath was ragged, his voice low growl, commanding and possessive. “You _are_ mine. I’ll fill your sweet little hole and lock you to me so no one can have you but me. My boy. My sweet Leon.”

I didn’t try to hold back my cries of pleasure, eyes closed and face pressed to his hair as I rocked up against him, my body taking the pleasure that it needed it so desperately. I couldn’t think about the tests, just how good it was to hear everything that he was saying. His cock stretched me open almost painfully tight, but it was what I craved, orgasm approaching fast as I shuddered around him. “Oh God, yes, Frank, come in me, make me yours, fuck - !”

Frank pulled me up so I was sitting in his lap, grinding down onto his cock, and he claimed my lips as one broad hand moved to curl around my erection. Every inch of me was shaking with the need to come, clinging to him, crying out into his mouth, and for a few, agonizingly beautiful seconds, nothing existed in the world but this. Then my pleasure was crashing around me, my body clenching tighter around his knot as the waves of orgasm overwhelmed me, crying his name against his mouth.

“Oh God, Leon - !” My name fell in a broken, shuddering gasp, his hips jerking up against me, arms tight around me as he flooded me with heat.

I buried my face in his neck, my passion spent, arms tight around his shoulders. I felt so small and overwhelmed in his arms, his cock still locked inside me, and I wanted desperately to cling to that brief illusion of us. But I couldn’t stop the anxiety from creeping in. Part of me wanted to run and hide, but we’d be locked together for some time. I’d have to face my disappointment.

Frank’s hands tightened on my hips. “Leon - “

“Don’t say anything,” I found myself cutting him off. “Just let me pretend this is real for a few more minutes….”

For a moment Frank sat silent against me, frozen, and I’d just began to worry that I’d offended him when one of his hands moved to the small of my back under the robe, stroking slow circles, caressing my spine. “Why would you want that?”

I gave a bitter, trembling laugh, tightening my arms around his shoulders, closing my eyes tight against the tears that pricked at them. “Because that’s what I want. I’ve always wanted this to be real.”

Frank let out a long, trembling sigh, his other hand stroking up my back, caressing the back of my neck and sliding into my hair. He pressed a soft kiss to my temple. “I’m your professor and twice your age.”

His touch was so gentle that I couldn’t hold back a sob. “I don’t care.”

He gave a soft moan of dismay, cupping my face, shifting to press soft kisses over my forehead and eyelids. “Shh, Leon, don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I’ll take care of you. Never wanted to hurt you, you’re so precious to me….”

I drew a shuddering gasp, unable to stop my body from trembling, kissing him desperately. “Please tell me you’ll see me again. Even if it’s a lie. Please, Frank…”

“Shhh,” he murmured again, tugging my robe the rest of the way off. Frank wrapped his arms around me and laid me back into the softness of the bed, kissing me long and slow and soft until my trembling had stopped, until all I wanted was to melt into his arms. “I’ll do anything you want me to, my sweet boy,” he murmured softly. He stroked my side slowly as he spoke, his fingers warm and strong as they rubbed and kneeded my thigh, helping me relax. Then for a moment he simply searched my gaze, his grey eyes worried but so completely adoring that part of me couldn't help but think that maybe this wasn’t completely a lie after all.

Frank pressed closer, propping himself over me with one forearm beside my head, and he stroked those fingers through my hair again and again, finally smiling tenderly as he looked down on me. Then he leaned in to press his lips to mine, a slow, gentle caress, growing warmer as he urged my lips to part with the press of his tongue. I yielded without hesitation, drawing a trembling breath through my nose, tightening my arms around him to pull him closer.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you,” he murmured, so low I barely heard. “That’s not a lie, Leon. You’re so precious to me.”

I gave a soft moan of relief, breath catching. “Then make love to me again. Please….”

“Anything for you,” he murmured, and started to kiss me again, growing more possessive, as if to steal every thought from my mind but him. He continued to stroke and caress my body, hand rubbing over my thigh and ass, finally curling around my cock to stroke and encourage my erection. Finally I began to feel a soft, hopeful happiness, drinking in the love and care I’d always wanted to feel from him, and as he tenderly brought me to the heights of passion again, my heart sang with love for him.

Frank held me close, spoiling and reassuring me with touch and soft kisses long after he’d finally eased from my body. I wanted to stay there forever, but the rational part of me knew that I needed to let them reset the room for another pair. I looked up at Frank a little nervously, letting my lips. “I know we have to leave, but… if you’re not busy…”

Frank pressed a kiss to my forehead, sighing softly. “I have to leave town, that’s why I asked for a morning appointment. I’m sorry, sweetheart. But if you’re willing…” He drew back to look at me, a little anxious. “I’d like to see you Monday night, if you’ll let me.”

I felt my heart skip a beat, and I barely could manage to stop smiling long enough to kiss him. “I’d really, really like that.”

~~~

When I found Mere near the end of the day on Monday, I felt like I’d rehearsed my words thousand times. “I was thinking, about the trials. It might be a good idea to keep some of the testing group static so that we can make sure there’s no issues with tolerance on repeated exposure, right?”

Mere looked amused. “And you’re altruistically volunteering, are you?”

I felt my face heat. “Well, um – “

“Don’t worry, Leon. You’re not the first participant to ask to stay with his… grouping. You get brownie points for at least trying to come up with a good excuse.”

“Can I?” I asked anxiously. I didn’t want to quit the study, the thought of being with anyone other than Frank made me feel faintly ill. “I - I really don’t want to test with anyone else.”

“I’m not adverse. However…” She hesitated, looking a little worried. “Frank pulled out of the study this afternoon.”

“What? I’ll talk to him.” We’d sent a few messages back and forth over the weekend, but he hadn’t mentioned anything to me. I tried to tell myself firmly that he must be doing this for me, but I still felt a strange sinking feeling. I messaged him as soon as I had a moment alone.

_’Mere says you’re concerned about the study. It’s okay, she says we can keep testing together. You don’t have to quit.’_

There was no reply.

I could barely focus on my work for the remainder of the afternoon, constantly checking my com with a growing sense of panic, finally messaging him again. _’Frank?’_

Finally, just as I was leaving, a response buzzed through.

_’Leon, I’m truly sorry to have to tell you this, but I can’t do this. If I’d known the study would put us in this position I would have never agreed to participate. Please forgive me for hurting you. You’ll come to understand that it’s better this way.’_

Trembling, I directed the lift to the intake building and ran through the halls, frantic to catch him before he left. But his lab was empty, and the lecture hall dark. I tried to think of a response as I walked down the steps to the front of the room, wiping blindly the tears that filled my eyes. How could I have thought for an instant that this was real? All his words of love had just been a kindness to this silly boy with his ridiculous crush. Frank never had any intention of continuing anything with me. He’d never wanted anything with me to begin with.

Sinking down into his desk chair, I wrapped my arms around the back and buried my face in the upholstery, breathing in the remnants of his scent and sobbing brokenly as bitter disappointment overwhelmed me.

~~~

 

**John Murdoch**

Once I’d come to terms with the fact that I was far more obsessive Daniel then he was with me, it was easier to act as I thought I should, to cover my longing and disappointment with an artfully erected façade. I couldn’t let him know how disappointed I was, not if I hoped to continue to receive his affections.

We went out drinking Saturday night, losing ourselves to music and alcohol, and I tried to memorize the feel of his body against mine as we swayed together to the music. Our lovemaking was heated and passionate and driven, and between my pleasure and the alcohol as I fell asleep with him in my arms I’d almost forgotten that anything was wrong at all.

But I shouldn’t overstay my welcome. I couldn’t put that kind of pressure on him.

“You’re opening this week, aren’t you?” Daniel asked as I got my things together.

I nodded. “Opening Friday, then a Saturday matinee. I’ll be in rehearsals ‘till late. But let me know if you want to talk, I’ll try to fit something in.”

He nodded, frowning a little. “I would like to see your play, John.”

I smiled. “Sure. Just let me know, whenever’s good for you is fine with me. The trip back isn’t even that long, if you decide you don’t want to stay.”

“I – okay.” He looked a little lost, so I pulled him into my arms, holding him close and pressing a kiss to his hair.

“I had a really good time this weekend,” I murmured against his hair. “Thank you, beautiful.”

Daniel’s arms tightened around me. “I wish you didn’t have things to do.”

The thought of being asked to stay made my heart leap with joy. “I can rearrange things - “

Daniel shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’m sure we’ll see each other soon, right?”

I smiled and nodded, cupping his cheek and leaning into kiss him warmly. “Whenever you want.”

I almost messaged him out of habit when I got home, just to let him know I was home safe, but caught myself. I wasn’t the obsessive, madly-in-love boyfriend, no matter how much I wanted to be. I had a different role to play.

~~~

 

**Leon Husselbeck**

When I finally went back to my residence on Monday night I didn’t call anyone. Not even Neal. I felt broken and completely exhausted, and the thought of having to see someone, anyone; the thought of having to control my feelings for an instant was too overwhelming to contemplate.

When my alarm went off on Tuesday morning I turned it and my com to silent, covering my head with a pillow and going back to sleep.

When I woke again that evening I had messages on my com from May and Neal and even from Mere. I felt guilty, but I couldn’t bring myself to reply to them, other than to send Mere back an apology for missing work. What else could I say? I’d been a hopeful, foolish boy, letting myself believe something that had never been. I drank until I passed out, and woke up early the next morning grumpy and hung over, moping around my small studio residence and drinking way too much coffee until the guilt of flaking out on Mere became too strong to keep ignoring.

I let myself indulge in a traditional shower, wasting far too much hot water, but by the time I was shaved and dressed in crisp new clothes I felt like I’d finally built a strong enough barrier to be able to survive going outside again.

“Leon!” One of the other betas on the research team, Connor, crossed the lab to meet me as I came in. I was surprisingly relieved that he was the one to meet me. He had an easy-going manner and had always been very kind to me, and even though I was a little jealous with how in love he and his alpha wife were I’d always enjoyed working with him. “Been feeling a bit under the weather? It’s okay if you need to take the day. Just go check in with Mere first, alright? She’s in her office.”

I nodded, happy to agree to the old turn of phrase despite its ridiculousness; most human diseases of the twentieth century had either been eradicated or didn’t affect the three reproductive types.

Scanning through the transfer point, I made my way down the hall to Mere’s office, but before I could scan to announce my presence the sound of her voice from inside stopped me.

“Listen, you melancholy asshole. Whatever you think, you're wrong. He said he'd only keep on with the trials if he could only test with you."

Heart beating, I leaned closer to the door. I heard a low murmur of reply, unintelligible over the com, then Mere again. "What the hell do you think that means? Look, I don't care - just make it right. He hasn't been here in two days. You completely shattered the poor boy. I'm absolutely holding you responsible."

There was another low murmur, then Mere's exasperated growl. "I don't care! For gods sake, Frank. And I refuse to coddle you when you're being willingly blinded by your own pigheadedness! First, he isn't Nick. And second - if Nick saw the way you're acting he'd be so disappointed in you! Get your shit together!"

I heard an angry sounding crash, and hurriedly tried to back away from the door. It opened before I could make my escape, and I found myself standing face to face with Mere, who seemed momentarily stunned, her eyes red-rimmed and bright.

I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry for the time I’ve missed, Mere. That was unprofessional of me.”

She nodded in acknowledgment. “Are you all right?” 

I glanced away. “I’d be lying if I said yes.”

Mere sighed, running a hand through her short cropped hair, suddenly looking very weary. “Just go talk to him, Leon.”

I gave a bitter laugh despite myself. “What’s the point? He’s been pretty clear about what he wants. Doesn't want.”

Mere sighed again, lips thinning, disapproving. “Frank doesn’t - look, I’m gonna let you in on a secret, Leon. Nobody’s actually an adult. We’re all just faking it. I’m not an adult, you aren’t, and he certainly never will be either.”

I felt my eyebrows knit together. “What does that have to do with - “

“I’m saying he’s an idiot. He cares. You just need to be persistent enough to get through that thick skull. Now take the rest of the day off.”

Forcing myself to hold her gaze, I took a deep breath. "Who's Nick?"

Mere's lips pressed together tightly as she contemplated me, silent for so long that I'd almost decided to push her again. Her words were short, clipped. "Nick was my roommate when I was a student here. Frank was a student teacher in our third year. The rest of it is Frank's to tell. Ask him."

I felt a surge of hopelessness bubble up. “How am I supposed ask him if he won’t even see me?”

She sighed, then took my arm, pulling me down the hall to the lab and banging on the window. It was alpha/beta access only, but Connor crossed the room quickly, scanning through the transfer point. “Everything okay?”

“I need your arm.” Mere started tapping commands on the small screen of his com, moving quickly through the interface. “I can’t give you access to an alpha member of the faculty since I don’t have access myself, but he does, so… There.” She grabbed my wrist and pushed against Connor’s for the data dump. “Go sit on his balcony until the asshole agrees to talk to you.”

The thought of doing so only made me feel vulnerable. “Mere, what if he – “

“Just trust me. If I’m wrong, I’ll give you an A+ on everything for the next two years.”

Connor looked particularly interested at that. “That’s a pretty good deal. I’d take it.”

Mere glanced over at him and snorted. “Get back to work, smart ass.” After he’d disappeared through the transfer point she laid a hand on my shoulder. “Leon. You’re braver than you know. You can do this.”

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to nod despite feeling like nothing she described. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because Frank is a friend. You’re the first person who’s managed to bring him out of himself since… for a long time. And I’d like to actually have a coffee with that asshole again at some point, so if he’s too dumb to figure out his love life then he deserves to have it meddled with.” She smirked to take the edge off her words. “And it was my oversight that let you two test together, so.”

I forced a smile. “Thank you, then.”

I mulled over her words as I left the building. Would it have been better if we hadn’t tested together? If I’d never known what it was like to kiss him, if we'd never made love?

Something had to happen, I decided. If I couldn’t make this work with Frank, I’d have to make a clean break, move on and never see him again. The thought was still heartbreaking, but I knew that sensibly, it was the only way to get my life back. So I didn’t regret that we’d been together. Regardless of how much it hurt now, I knew that one day I would treasure the memory.

It was nearing the end of the school day, so I decided to take Mere’s advice. Even if I did catch Frank at the school what I had to say to him needed to be in private. I picked up a cheap bottle of wine, knowing that if I didn't end up sharing it with him I’d want to drink alone anyway. Then I flagged a lift and transferred Connor’s authorization for it to take me to Frank’s residence into the navigation.

The lift let me out onto the balcony, the standard action if the residence was empty. Taking a deep breath, I settled onto the patio bench that sat there, setting down the wine and pulling up a book on my wrist com, trying to focus on anything other than Frank while I waited.

Minutes ticked by, and the time that I knew his classes would end came and went. I couldn’t help but worry. Did he somehow know I was here? Was he avoiding me? And even worse, what if he was meeting someone else?

Finally, nearly an hour after class had finished, I heard the whirr of a lift approaching. I got to my feet nervously, trying to focus on breathing deep and not on the frantic pounding of my heart. I caught sight of Frank through the lift window as it slotted itself into place, and a moment later the doors opened up out onto the balcony.

“Leon!” Frank was holding a large bouquet of red roses and lilies in under his arm. Obviously they were meant for a lover. 

I felt a surge of embarrassment. “I - I’m sorry, it was a mistake for me to come here. I’ll go - “

“No! No. God, I’ve been trying to find you!”

My heart stopped for a second, then resumed beating twice as fast, so much that I began to feel faint. “… Me?”

“Of course, you. Do you think there’s anyone else I would be - Leon!”

Stars had started to swim at the edge of my vision, but Frank darted forward as my knees began to buckle, dropping the flowers to catch me and lifting me into his arms. “Oh, love. Come on, I’ll take you inside.”

The world pulsed strangely around me, Frank’s voice a low echo. Overwhelmed, I laid my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes and focusing on the warmth of his body and the strength of his arms around me. The world began to stop swimming, and I was aware of Frank settling down somewhere comfortable with me on his lap, keeping one arm around me securely. His fingers stroked my hair off my forehead, caressing my cheek. “Leon? Sweetheart, talk to me.”

I leaned towards his touch, keeping my eyes closed against the world’s disorientation. “I love you and I want to be with you.”

I heard Frank give a soft, helpless laugh, and felt his lips press to my forehead. “God knows why.”

I drew a deep breath, drawing back to look up at him. “Do you love me?”

I could see both concern and adoration reflected back at me in his gaze. “I love you more than words can say.”

I felt a warm wave of relief rush through me, and lifted a hand to touch his cheek. “Then don’t ask why.”

The line between Frank eyebrows grew deeper. “I’m literally twice your age, Leon. And I’ve been completely horrible to you.”

I shook my head. “Age doesn’t matter. And the other…” I swallowed hard. “Make it up to me.”

Frank gave a slight nod, fingers stroking into my hair. “How?”

I took a deep breath, though it didn’t stop my voice from shaking. “Tell me you want to be with me.”

Frank gave a soft moan, leaning in to kiss me, soft and warm. “I do,” he murmured, and kissed me again, longer. “I’ll be with you as long as you’ll have me. I want to take care of you. I’m so sorry I hurt you. God, Leon, please don’t cry….”

I choked back a sob, but I couldn’t stop the tears, trembling as I held him tightly. “I’m sorry. I’m just - I’m really emotional and I haven’t really eaten since Monday and – “

“Oh God. Here, let me order for something - “

“Don’t leave me.” I buried my face in his neck, and Frank made a soft, soothing sound, fingers smoothing over my hair and down my back.

“I didn’t think I could ever feel like this about anyone again,” he said softly. “I tried for so long to convince myself I didn’t feel anything for you. You’re so sweet, so bright and beautiful and smart… I thought just spending time with you would be enough. That I could keep things appropriate as long as I never told you how I felt. After the test I felt so guilty, I realized that despite my intentions I’ve still been courting you, I made you fall in love with me when you should have been out finding someone better, and I - “

“I only want you,” I said into his neck, and Frank’s arms tightened around me.

“Shhh. I know, sweetheart. I won’t deny that. If I’m really what you want then I’ll be here for you every minute of every day. I’ll do anything you want me to.”

I pulled back to look up at him, wiping my tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand. “You mean that?”

“Yes. I promise. Leon, if you’ll have me, I’d very much like to be your mate.”

Despite the surge of happiness his words sent through me, I forced myself to focus, taking a deep breath. “Will you please tell me about Nick?”

Frank visibly recoiled at the name. Then he looked away, lips tightening, his voice was rough when he spoke. “Who told you?”

“I overheard Mere yelling at you. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I’m sorry.” I reached up to touch his face gently. “Did he leave you?”

Frank gave a soft, broken laugh. “In a way.” He shifted against me, leaning back against the back of the couch, and I looked out into his residence for the first time. It was small, but comfortable, and remarkable for the large bookshelves that completely lined one wall, filled with actual books. He motioned towards an old-fashioned photo frame that sat at the front of one of the shelves. I recognized him instantly - much younger, his hair dark and thick. He was wearing a tuxedo, looking adoringly at a smiling, sweet faced young man in his arms who was dressed the same. A partnership photo, I realized with a shock.

“Nick was a second year when I started my internship here,” Frank said, his voice soft. “He was Mere’s roommate, they’d known each other since middle school. We fell in love… it seemed like instantly. He was an Omega, and I tried to convince him that we should wait to be together for the sake of his education, but I was young and in love and he was so charming….”

I reached up to touch his cheek, overwhelmed by his obvious sorrow. “Frank, you don’t have to….”

Frank shook his head. “No. I’ve punished myself for this long enough, and I love you and I won’t keep it from you. Nick was unstable, and he didn’t tell me. He stopped taking his medication when he conceived. When he was six months along he took a lethal dose of street opioids. They couldn’t save him or the twins.” He let out a long breath.

Heart aching, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, stroking my fingers over his hair. “I’m so sorry, love….”

“Thank you,” he murmured, holding me tighter. “I blamed myself for a long time. Even though he tried so hard to keep it from me, I felt like I should have just seen, somehow, should have realized it was more than just moodiness and the pregnancy. It’s been long enough now that I can accept, logically, that it wasn’t my fault. I’ve even come to accept it emotionally, for the most part. I know he’d want me to move on… I just never wanted to let myself get close to anyone again. And then I started grooming you for Mere’s project and I realized I couldn’t help myself.”

I found myself smiling, moving to kiss him softly. “Then you don’t have to feel guilty. I was in love with you far before that.”

“Yeah?” Frank pulled back to look down at me, smile playing about the corners of his lips. “This stuffy old man?”

“This distinguished gentlemen?” I shot back, challengingly. “How could I not fall in love with you? You’re so ridiculously dashing in those suits and those hats. I grew up falling in love with old film stars on the silver screen. With those handsome blue eyes you’re basically my own personal Paul Newman.”

Frank smile widened slightly, eyebrows raising. “ _You_ know who Paul Newman is?”

His approval made me feel both shy and proud. “Of course. Both my dads love Silver and Early 2D.”

“Hmm.” His eyebrows raised slightly. “I don’t suppose you know Sinatra?”

I couldn’t help but grin, lowering my voice to a soft croon. _“Strangers in the night exchanging glances… Wondering in the night… What were the chances we'd be sharing love - ”_

Frank cut me off with a kiss and a soft, delighted moan. “How have we not talked about this before?”

I chuckled, charmed. “Because we’ve been too busy doing complex physics in an attempt to deny our feelings?”

I don’t think I’d ever seen Frank so happy before. He kissed me again, lingering, his words a warm breath against my lips. “My boy….”

I drew a shivering breath against his lips. “Say that again….”

“My boy,” Frank murmured, lips worshiping mine. “My darling… My love….”

“Always yours,” I breathed back, my heart near bursting in my chest.

Frank’s smile was dreamy as he pulled back. “I need to feed you. Let me throw together a pasta. Is that okay?”

”That sounds great.” I watched him stand, sliding out a tablet interface attached to the underneath of one of the shelves of books and punching in a command. Suddenly I remembered the balcony. “Oh, I brought wine - “

Frank turned to press me back down into the couch. “Rest. I’ll get it.” He tapped the tablet before turning for the balcony, and the low croon of Frank Sinatra filled the residence.

_“Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars…”_

Frank returned with both the wine and the bouquet, giving it a rueful smile. “Your flowers are a little crushed. I’m sorry.”

I stood to meet him, shaking my head. “It’s fine, they’re so beautiful. I’ve never had someone buy me flowers before.”

He smiled, placing them in my arms and wrapping an arm around my waist. “I think a gentleman should always bring fresh flowers into his home for his mate. I’ll get the food, you rest.”

“I’m fine, Frank. I promise. I’m wonderful. Can I put these in water?”

”Let me get a vase.” Frank dropped some pasta into the hydrator and started putting a sauce together as I unwrapped the flowers and transferred them into the vase he’d found for me. 

One of the lilies had bent near the head, so I broke it off the stem altogether, waiting for Frank to turn back to me and tucking it into his lapel. “Perfect.”

Frank regarded it for a moment. “No… missing something. Hang on.” He disappeared to the bedroom for a moment, reappearing wearing a smart, charcoal Fedora. He smiled, taking my hand in his and guiding the other to his shoulder, pulling me into a waltz as he sang along softly. _“Love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away.…”_

I melted against him. “How did you ever think we weren’t right for each other?”

“I was an absolute fool,” he replied, smiling against my lips as he kissed me. 

After dinner we watched Casablanca on the view screen, which I’d seen a dozen times but was always happy to watch again, especially curled in Frank’s arms, trading soft kisses with him and generally paying him far more attention than the movie. I laid my head on his shoulder, nuzzling my face against the soft wool of his vest, surrounded by the scent of his skin and his cologne and the warm safety of his arms I couldn’t imagine being more blissfully happy.

“Are you tired?” Frank said, fingers stroking through my hair. “Should we sleep?”

I was, but not so much to be able to ignore my longing for him. I shifted to straddle his lap boldly, claiming his lips and moaning softly as his hands stroked up to curl around my hips. “Make love to me,” I breathed, letting my desires fall from my lips. “I want to fall asleep with you inside me….”

Frank gave a low, appreciative growl against my lips, stroking his hands up my back. “Perfect…”

Once in his bedroom, Frank pulled away just long enough to take a small photoframe from the bedside and lay down on top of the bureau. I reached out to touch his elbow. “Frank, you don’t have to…”

He shook his head. “It’s time. I’ve lived in the past long enough.” His fingers were gentle on my waist as he pulled me closer, kissing me with sweet tenderness. “Let me spoil you….”

Frank had shed his jacket before dinner, and now I stroked my hands up the silk backing of his vest and over his shoulders. “I’m already so spoiled…”

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m just getting started.” Frank started to unbutton my shirt, trailing slow kisses along my jaw. “Want to make you feel so good…” His fingers traced of the line of bare skin he’d revealed to my throat, making me shiver, and I tilted my head back to yield to his kisses, arching closer.

Frank’s lips mapped my neck slowly, discovering the spots that made me gasp, then kissing and sucking at them until I was whimpering with pleasure. He undressed me slowly as he did, caressing each piece of skin as he exposed it. The care he took with me was so sensual and arousing the by the time his hand slipped down to cup my erection I was fully hard, rocking up against his palm with a sharp hiss. “Oh God, Frank…”

Frank kissed away my whimper, shifting to let his cock press against my hip as he continued to palm and massage me gently through my slacks. “May I taste you, my precious boy?”

I drew a sharp breath at the thought, whimpering as he tugged my slacks undone to slide his hand into my boxers. The feel of his palm against my heated cock was exquisite; the thought of more even more appealing. “God yes, please…”

Frank hummed approvingly, kissing down my neck and chest, sucking briefly at one nipple before sinking to his knees. He urged me to lean back against the bed, nuzzling my stomach, his gaze adoring as he looked up at me. I stroked my fingers over his hair to rest on bare shoulders, watching him ease my boxers over the head of my cock, nuzzling it as it sprang free with a low, appreciative moan.

Frank showed more patience and self-control then I thought I ever could, covering the length of my shaft with slow licks, kissing and sucking at my skin. His hands curled loosely around my hips as he did, thumbs stroking gentle circles on my hip bones, and when his lips finally parted over the head of my cock he gave a low appreciative moan that shuddered through me.

My hips gave a little helpless buck despite my efforts, my fingers digging into his shoulders. “Oh fuck. Feels so good, darling…”

Frank hummed in reply, eyes closing as his lips slid down the length of my shaft. Despite his long time single, I was certain he must’ve had casual lovers; he was far too good at this, sucking at me and working his tongue against me until I was whimpering, gasping for breath and rocking up into his mouth helplessly. “Frank - God, I – “

His lips pulled from my cock with a soft pop, pushing my slacks down to my ankles and encouraging me to step out of them. “Bed, darling?”

I nodded, breathless, laying back against the pillows and wrapping my fingers run my cock as I watched him step out of his pants. Frank’s eyes followed my fingers hungrily, and he crawled over me to press hungry kisses up my thigh, nuzzling the base of my cock as he pressed two fingers inside me.

I cried out breathlessly, fingers clenching in his hair as I rocked up against the penetration, too aroused to be patient. “Please, Frank, need you so bad….”

“Soon,” he murmured, licking around his fingers as his free hand curled around my cock. Then he pressed his tongue inside me, licking and fucking me in slow thrusts as the pad of his thumb teased the head of my cock. He flicked over stretched tight frenulum and pressed into the sensitive point just underneath, the intensity of sensation making me gasp and buck underneath him, my whole body shuddering.

“Frank! I - God, please, please – “

Frank groaned, moving to take me in his mouth again, groaning like he couldn’t get enough as he swallowed around the length of my cock. With slow pump of his fingers inside me and his obvious pleasure it was more than I could take, and as my pleasure crested my whole body bucked tense. Orgasm pulled a helpless cry from my mouth, shuddering and gasping his name as the world crashed down around me.

”Mmm….” Frank’s moan was entirely too self-satisfied as he swallowed around me, sucking gently to encourage every last spurt of my come. He didn’t stop until I whimpered and tugged him away. Then he pressed a warm kiss low on my hip, moving back over me to nuzzle my jaw. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that…”

I caught his face in my hands, pulling his lips to mine and kissing him, moaning softly the taste of my passion on his lips. “God, that was so good. You’re amazing…”

“Just want to please you.” Frank’s fingers stroked slowly over my waist, mapping and caressing my ribs. “It’s so beautiful to see you lost to pleasure, love…”

Despite the fact that I could feel him pressed hard against my thigh Frank seemed unconcerned, happy to continue to stroke my body as we kissed. It was so unlike my normal encounters, which were often frantic and drunken, I was surprised to discover how much more intense it was to just let Frank tease and caress my body, slowly and expertly rousing my passion again. I moved a hand down to curl around his cock. “Frank, please make love to me…”

He gave a soft hiss, rocking up into my touch. He nuzzled along my jaw to suck on my earlobe. “Haven’t been able to stop thinking about how good it was to be inside you…” Frank’s words were a murmured admission that made me whimper, his fingers tightening on my hip, voice huskier. “Tell me how you want it.”

I moaned as his fingers moved to curl around my half hard cock. “From behind. Curl around me and keep me safe. Keep me locked to you while I fall asleep.”

Frank’s breath came heavier as I spoke, and he urged me onto my side, kissing along my shoulder as he fit his body up against my back. He pushed his cock between my thighs and over my sex, pressing against me. “Oh God, Leon…”

“Please,” I whimpered, reaching back to grab his hip. “Please make me yours - oh!” I cried out as the thick head of his cock pushed into me, stretching me open. “Oh God, yes!”

“You feel so damn good…” Frank’s arms tightened around me as he gave a harder thrust, rocking insistently deeper. He curled his free hand around my cock as he did, his thrusts pushing me into his fingers. “My precious boy… feel so hot and tight…”

Each thrust of his hips pulled a trembling cry from my lips, and I pressed back against him, quickly growing hard again. I’d never felt so completely, beautifully submissive before; being with Frank, being with my Alpha, was like nothing I’d ever experienced. “Oh God yes. Claim me, please knot me, God, Frank!”

Frank’s groan was harsh and helpless, his hips jerking up into me until he was buried to the hilt, until I could feel him start to swell inside me. The strength of it was incomparable, my body stretching and clenching around him with a white hot intensity that shuddered up my spine.

Frank pressed trembling kisses along my shoulder, growling low against my skin. ”Mine… No one will ever touch you like this again but me, Leon… no one else will ever claim you again…”

I tried to rock with him as much as I could, gasping as his cock shifted inside me, sending shocks of sensation through me. “Always yours,” I gasped, trembling from pleasure. “Always been yours. Oh God, Frank, need you, wanna feel you come inside me, you fill me up so good….”

“God, sweetheart - !” The heat of Frank’s words were shuddering gasps against my skin, his kisses trembling, finally biting down at the crook of my neck with a snarl. His hips jerked up against me as he did, his cock pulsing inside me, filling me with hot spurts of seed that took my pleasure to a fever pitch. 

I whined in need, grinding down onto his cock as much as I could, fingers digging into his hip. “Oh God!”

Frank continued to jerk up into me as he emptied himself inside me, each thrust pulling a breathless, mewling cry from my lips. He kept working my cock, and worried my skin between his teeth as he growled. “Mine now, Leon. Come for me.”

My body reacted in a rush of obedience, clenching tight around his cock in shudders as I came. The feel of his knot inside me made my orgasm more intense than I would have thought possible if I hadn’t been with him before, and I give myself over to it completely, my world eclipsed by the pleasure of our lovemaking.

Frank groaned against my skin, sounding completely gratified, stroking my cock gently to milk every bit of my release from me as I came in his fingers. “That’s it, love. My precious boy. Every inch of you is mine and I’ll take such good care of you, Leon….”

I smiled, trying to catch my breath, letting his words wash over me. I felt like I was floating in a sea of happiness in pleasure, nerves buzzing in the aftermath of orgasm. “Oh yes… your little mate forever, Frank… feel so loved and safe and cherished….”

Frank nuzzled my hair, pressing slow kisses over the back of my neck. “Promise you’ll come to me whenever you need something. Whatever you need.” His voice was soft, the thick with emotion. “Don’t keep anything from me, Leon. I’ll do anything you need me to, just… please….”

I twisted enough in his embrace to look up at him, cupping his face and meeting his gaze with as much conviction as I could muster. “I won’t leave you. Not ever. I promise.”

Frank let out a shuddering breath, kissing me hard. “I couldn’t survive it.”

“I couldn’t either,” I gasped, clinging to him, losing myself to the sweetness of his kisses and how good it felt to be so completely claimed.

My pulse finally calming, I relaxed into his arms, sighing as Frank reached back for the quilt and tucked it around me. It felt good, being safely wrapped his arms, his cock still locked inside me. It calmed the primal need inside of me to be owned and taken care of. It felt right.

I could feel the slow caress of Frank’s breath on the back of my neck, and I closed my eyes to the blissful sense of warmth and well-being, my mind starting to drift off.

“When can we register?” Frank soft words roused me, and I smiled, finding one of his arms where it wrapped around me and twining my fingers with his.

“Mmm. I suppose… should probably finish Mere’s study first. Is that okay?”

Frank pressed a kiss under my ear, replying in a possessive rumble. “As long as she knows that no one else is allowed to touch you.”

“I wouldn’t let anyone,” I agreed, yawning. “She said to tell you she wants to have a cup of coffee with you.”

Frank tightened his arms around my waist. “We’ll all go for dinner and celebrate when the study’s done.”

I tried to fight sleep enough to murmur a soft agreement, but may not have been successful. It didn’t matter. I could talk to Frank tomorrow.

Tomorrow, and every day and always.

~~~


	9. Chapter 9

**Daniel Carson**

By the time John left for home, I couldn’t ignore that something was wrong between us, but I didn’t know what to do about it. The more I tried to press closer to him, the more he seemed to pull away. I couldn’t understand. Rationally I tried to examine my feelings. Had I done something wrong? I’d been moody and upset with him after we’d first made love, but I’d done my best to make up for it, and the sex had been so good….

Then, when I didn’t hear from him at all that evening, the terrible little thought started nagging at the back of my mind.

A completely unapologetic whore, John had called himself.

What if, despite all his pretty words of love, sex had been all he wanted from me?

And then, an even quieter whisper. _You deserve it._

I did my best not to let my insecurities show on the project. Mere, at least, didn't seem to notice. May seemed to pick up that something was wrong, but it was easy enough to distract her. She was practically giddy from her weekend with Anna. I found myself darkly jealous of her for the first time.

I tried to tell myself as the week went on that he was too busy with the final tech and dress rehearsals for the play to talk. But he'd always found time to message me before - little notes of adoration that would appear on my com throughout the day and fill me with joy. As the week went on with still no word, I couldn't keep denying it; what I thought I had with him was a lie.

Logic told me that I just needed to get laid. I should find someone pretty in a bar and lose myself. But the thought of being with someone other than him was too heartbreaking to contemplate.

I knew that I could never keep my heartbreak from Ben, but it was easy enough to make excuses to stay off immersive. Ben would be happy to spend time with Larry, anyway.

Then, on Thursday evening, after I'd made my excuses to get away from Mere and Liv, I received a message from him.

_'Will you come on immersive, love? I'd really like to talk to you.' ___

__I started at the message on my com, stomach tying itself in knots. If I came on, he'd know. I tried to reason that I didn't want to cause possible strife between him and Larry, since John was his best friend. But in reality I want ready to admit that I'd failed in love. Not to the person I was closest to._ _

___'I have to write a paper. Can it wait?'_ _ _

__His reply came almost instantly, like he'd anticipated my excuse._ _

___'Mere told me you’re upset about something. Please talk to me. I'm worried about you. Do we need to come up?'_ _ _

__Giving in, I pulled on my equipment and sent him a connection request. Ben connected immediately, expression full of concern. "What's going on, love?"_ _

__At the care in his voice I felt my throat close up. I shook my head wordlessly, trying desperately not to break down. Moments later I felt him enfold me in his arms, the gentle embrace transferring through the jacket, and my anguish over flowed into tears._ _

__Pushing back my visor, I grabbed a tissue, wiping my eyes and hearing my twin’s faint, soothing words through the speakers. Finally feeling like I had control of myself, I pulled the visor back into place. “I’m sorry. It’s just… it’s been an intense week.”_ _

__Ben nodded, cautious. “Mere said you’d been out of sorts. What’s going on?”_ _

__I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry anyone. I just need to work through this and… accept I was wrong, I guess.” I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat._ _

__Ben touched the shoulder again. “Wrong? About what?”_ _

__I looked away. “John.”_ _

__My brother’s posture became instantly more aggressive. “What did he do to you?”_ _

__“Nothing!” I said quickly. “Nothing, I promise. I just took things as being more serious than they were. This is my fault.”_ _

__Ben sighed, watching me for a long moment. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding talking to me?”_ _

__I felt a rush of shame. “Yes.”_ _

__“Why? Daniel, I’m always here for you. You know that.”_ _

__“I know.” I reached over my visor with one gloved hand to rub my forehead, trying to massage away the dull ache behind my eyes. “I just... I didn’t want to admit that I failed, I guess.” My words sounded hollow even to me; saying them made me feel even worse. “I don’t even know what went wrong, he just stopped talking to me. I… I really thought he loved me.”_ _

__Ben watched me quietly as I spoke, lips pressed him together. “I’m going to talk to him.”_ _

__“What? No!”_ _

__“Why not?”_ _

__I shook my head. “I can’t expect you to clean up my messes just because I can’t figure out my relationships, I - “_ _

__“Daniel, stop.” Ben reached to wrap both hands around my biceps, holding me still and meeting my gaze. “Listen to me. I’m offering to help you. I’m offering because I love you and I want to see you happy more than anything else the world.”_ _

__“I know. I know, love. But my happiness isn’t your responsibility.”_ _

__“But that still doesn’t mean I can’t help. Daniel, listen to me. I know you think you have to do everything yourself. I know you think you have to be strong and smart and perfect all the time. You’ve always thought that way. But you don’t have to.”_ _

__I opened my mouth, and then shut it again. I could see nothing in Ben’s expression except care and concern. I swallowed. “But I should be able to handle things by myself.”_ _

__“No, love. That’s not the way the world works. It took me a while to accept that, but now…. Just let me help for once, okay? Trust me, Daniel.”_ _

__I drew slow, shaky breath. “What do you want me to do?”_ _

__Ben smiled, taking one of my hands in both of his squeezing gently. “Can you be in the city by seven tomorrow night? Larry has tickets to the play, you can go with him. We’ll get you two together afterwards. Okay?”_ _

__“What if he doesn’t want to see me?”_ _

__“Don’t think about that. We’ll work it out, okay? Can I do this for you? Please?”_ _

__Part of me couldn’t help but think I was just making things worse, that I shouldn’t be involving Ben at all. But a little of what he’d said rang true. I’d always tried to keep difficult things from him, tried to put his well-being first. Ever since we’d been separated I’d been focused on making sure that Ben believed I was, if not happy, at least content._ _

__Somehow that attitude had extended to the rest of my life. To Mere and Liv, my coworkers, my schoolmates. I’d used sex as a refuge but never really leaned on my lovers apart from, occasionally, Neal. Maybe that’s why it had hurt so much to break up with him._ _

__“Okay,” I said softly, before I could change my mind. “Just… don’t be too hard on him, please?”_ _

__Ben wrapped an arm around my shoulders, smiling. “Don’t worry. Larry and I have good cop, bad cop down to a tee.”_ _

__~~~_ _

__

__**John Murdoch** _ _

__In the week leading up to my play opening I reveled in my emotions, channeling all of my love and longing for Daniel into a Gatsby more vivid than I’d ever thought possible. My sister even got told to watch me for pointers, much to her annoyance._ _

__I’d never had anyone do this to my heart before. I’d had crushes, and lovers, and I’d been disappointed, but normally when I was slighted my emotions turned to resentment and anger almost immediately. But I’d never spent so much time wooing, so long pining. I’d never so badly wanted a relationship to be more than sex, or had to settle for less than what I wanted._ _

__So what if Daniel didn’t want anything serious? I’d win him over, somehow. As soon as I had time to think about anything other than Gatsby I’d figure something out._ _

__Friday afternoon, just before Anna’s final dress rehearsal was about to start, a message from Larry came through on my com._ _

___’I need to see you before tonight. Can you come outside? I’m nearly there.’_ _ _

__For a moment the message confused me. Larry had always made time to come to the opening night performance of any major project I was on. But we only ever saw each other before the play for a traditional good luck blow job, which I was pretty sure wasn’t what he was coming for this time._ _

__I slipped out of the auditorium filled with my fellow students and headed towards the entrance were normally met Larry. Seeing my best friend and his mate outside the door, I gave them a warm smile, stepping outside to join them. “Hey!”_ _

__What I didn’t expect was for Ben to grab the front of my shirt, shoving me back against the wall. “What did I tell you about my brother?”_ _

__“Ben!” Larry grabbed his shoulder. “Hey, hang on - “_ _

__“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I squeaked. “What’s wrong with Daniel?”_ _

__“What’s wrong? He’s miserable! When was the last time you talked to him?”_ _

__I shook my head. “I- Sunday?”_ _

___“Sunday?!”_ _ _

__“Hold on!” Larry interjected, moving beside us, a hand on both our shoulders. “Calm down,” he ordered Ben, voice firm, then back to me. “John, what happened?”_ _

__Terrified, I tried to melt back into the wall. “I haven’t done anything! Just been trying to respect his wishes!”_ _

__Ben glared up at me. “What the fuck are you talking about?”_ _

__“He said he didn’t want anything serious!”_ _

__Ben looked so suddenly confused he actually took a step back, letting go of me. “What?”_ _

__I rubbed my chest where his hands had been, looking away. “Look, I know I’ve been obsessed. I still am. I just realized that I’d never actually asked what he wanted, which isn’t really fair of me, and Neal said - “_ _

__“Neal?” Ben’s eyebrows knit together. “Why the hell you talking to his ex?”_ _

__“Ex?” I stared back at him, floored at the thought. But of course that made sense. How had I not realized - “Oh shit.”_ _

__Larry let out a long sigh, rubbing a hand across his forehead. He patted Ben’s shoulder before pulling me away from the wall, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Give me a moment, darling. John, let’s go for a walk.”_ _

__His mate started to protest. “But - “_ _

__“Just trust me, okay?” Larry leaned in to press a kiss to Ben’s temple, then started to pull me away from the building, down along the sidewalk. “John, I want you to think about something for me for a minute. Imagine you meet someone, you start dating them, you’re completely crazy about them and they appear to be just as crazy about you. They call you every day, they take you out, they agree to meet some of your family, they want to spend as much time with you as possible. All that good stuff. And then you have sex, and then they stop calling you.”_ _

__I whimpered as his words set in, and pressed my fingers to my lips, horrified. “Oh my God.”_ _

__“Now you get it,” he said gently._ _

__I stopped short, turning into him. “Oh God, Lar. I fucked up.”_ _

__“A little bit,” he agreed, squeezing my shoulder. “Are you gonna make it right?”_ _

__“Do you think I can?” I shook my head, trying to understand how I’d gotten this so wrong. “Larry, I honestly thought - he got so upset when I mentioned Neal, and then when I asked him - “_ _

__“I know you have the best intentions,” Larry replied, his smile encouraging. “You’re not a bad guy. You’re not. You’re kind of dumb sometimes, but everybody gets kind of dumb when they’re in love, right? I mean, it’s not like he’s called you, either.”_ _

__I shook my head. “Daniel’s never dumb. I wouldn’t call me if I was behaving like me either.”_ _

__“Just talk to him,” Larry urged. “Tell him how you feel. That’s what you told me, right? And things worked out so good.”_ _

__I sighed, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll message him as soon as I get inside. Can you…” I looked back towards the building, where Ben was waiting, watching us._ _

__Larry squeezed my shoulder again. “Yeah, I’ll take care of Ben, don’t worry about him. His heart’s in the right place, you know.”_ _

__“I’m glad it is. But he still kinda scares me.”_ _

__Larry chuckled softly, pulling me into a hug and kissing my hair. “And here I thought you were the one that liked Alphas.”_ _

__I couldn’t help but laugh as the reality of the situation said in. “Yeah. And I can’t stop thinking about the Omega you’d normally go for. I guess it really must be love to work out like this.” I pulled back. “It will work out, won’t it?”_ _

__Larry smiled, touching my cheek. “It will. I have faith in you.”_ _

___’I’m really sorry,’_ I messaged him as soon as I got inside, spewing out my thoughts as fast as I could. _’I’ve been such an idiot and I got things all wrong and that’s not an excuse but it’s true. I miss you so much. Please tell me we can talk about this. I’ll do anything you ask me to.’__ _

__The response came almost immediately, like he’d been waiting for me, and it made me feel even guiltier. _’Okay. We can talk tonight. Thank you, John.’__ _

__~~~_ _

__

__**Daniel Carson** _ _

__Friday afternoon I wrapped up my task list in record time and was out the door before even May could question me. At home I changed three times, finally throwing on a light gray silk three piece that I’d spent far too much money on the summer before, the double-breasted vest and matching tie a darker slate. I decided to forgo a hat. It would be impolite to wear when in the theater, and in any case, the populace of Grand New York tended towards more modern styles. It was perhaps a little too showy, but it made me feel more confident. Even though John’s message to me had made me feel hopeful, I still needed the extra, silken shield around myself._ _

__I transferred the data chip from my wrist com into the vintage pocket watch styled com Ben had purchased for me last mid-winter, throwing a few casuals into a handbag and hurrying back to the lift I’d held when I’d come home, which was beeping in annoyance at my delay._ _

__The high velocity had me in Grand New York in just shy of an hour, but by the time I arrived Larry was already waiting for me outside the theater. He was dressed more casually, if still handsomely, in a dark gray button-down with tails that he wore over dark green tartan skinny pants with a matching tie. He gave me a warm smile as he saw me, offering his arm. “Hello, gorgeous.”_ _

__I took it, going with him in through the Omega doors of the auditorium. “I’m sorry to take over your date….”_ _

__Larry laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about that. Your brother was more than happy for the excuse not to come.”_ _

__“He was never particularly fond of Gatsby,” I agreed._ _

__I hadn’t been in a theater since before I’d left home, and following Larry down the aisle filled me with a sense of nostalgia. The auditorium circled around the front half of the stage, which was closed off from the audience by a translucent scrim, behind which I can see the shapes of furniture. Larry took me up to the front row, along to the end were two seats sat empty. “Not the best seats in the house, but….”_ _

__I shook my head, giving his elbow an appreciative squeeze. “No, this great, this is…” I looked out over the crowd, the low murmur of voices a familiar thrum of anticipation in my bones. It brought back old memories, and I suddenly felt overwhelmed by it all. “This is really great.”_ _

__Larry watched me, smiling with a fondness it made me feel suddenly, unexpectedly fond of him in return. I leaned up to press a soft kiss to his cheek, then settled into my seat. “Thank you for bringing me.”_ _

__“My pleasure,” Larry murmured, covering my hand with his in a brief squeeze._ _

__The house lights went down, and I was transported._ _

__The adaptation was one I hadn’t seen before, focusing on the interactions of the main cast, who were dressed in the requisite Roaring Twenties styled finery. They moved amidst a set made of movable furniture pieces and large displays and 3-D backdrops that transformed the stage effortlessly between Carraway’s tiny rental and the Buchanan’s rich mansion. Buchanan had been cast as a self-assured Alpha woman, all ego and swagger next to the male Daisy, who was a sweet faced young blonde boy who carried himself so well that I would have believed he was actually Omega if I hadn’t have known better. We were effortlessly caught up in the overwhelming rush of glamour and decadence along with the main character, the bustle of old New York, the Buchanan’s wealth and then the Bohemians’ party chaotic and over stimulating, and I almost didn’t know where to look._ _

__Then Carraway retreated, the light and noise and chaos fading as he made his way back to his home. In the sudden dark stillness of the stage I finally saw my lover for the first time._ _

__I felt my heart jump into my throat with an immediate surge of longing. John was dressed in a cream colored three-piece that was tailored impeccably to his frame, his normally wild dark curls tamed and gelled back into a tidy coif, and it was easy to believe him the eccentric and lonely title character. The backdrop had transformed into a pier on the sea as he slowly made his way along the stage, and as he came to a stop in front of us a beacon of green light flickered on from behind the audience, brightening the green in his eyes making him seem suddenly dazzlingly beautiful in his sorrow._ _

__Then, as the green light faded, his eyes gaze fell on me, and I caught a sudden flicker of surprise and absolute joy before the stage was completely cast into darkness._ _

__I clutched for Larry’s hand, suddenly wishing more than anything that the play was over so I could be in John’s arms again. Larry reached over to pat my hand gently, and I forced myself to release the death grip I had on his fingers, giving him an apologetic smile as the lights came back up._ _

__Then I did my best to lose myself in the performance._ _

__Even taking my bias into consideration, John was a magnificent Gatsby. I’d helped him run lines on immersive many times, of course, but it was nothing compared to the performance he put on now, his love and obsession, his longing and loneliness poignant and beautiful. And whenever he addressed our side of the audience his gaze would quickly move to where we sat, even when he murmured words of devotion to Daisy. When Daisy’s betrayal broke him to pieces I felt my heart break along with it, trying to wipe away the tears that streamed down my cheeks with the back of my hands until Larry handed me a tissue._ _

__The stage lights faded for the final time, and the audience burst into exuberant applause, on their feet in an instant as the cast appeared to take their bows. Their enthusiasm rose to fever pitch at John’s reappearance, and I clapped until my hands stung, adding my voice to Larry’s cheers, elated from the performance and the adoring smile on my lover’s lips every time he bowed towards us._ _

__The applause roared on, calling back the cast a second time, and then a third. Then John broke from their ranks, crossing the stage to us and nimbly hopping off the edge. My heart leapt into my throat as he took my hands in his, dropping to one knee. “Daniel, I’m an idiot. I love you more than anything. Please forgive me.”_ _

__His words overwhelmed me, and I choked back a sob, nodding and pulling him up into my arms despite the hundreds of eyes were on us. John’s embrace was warm and strong, his kisses soft against my hair, and for a moment I didn’t care about propriety. I let myself breathe deeply of his skin, holding him tightly before finally pulling back. “Go. We’ll talk after.”_ _

__John tugged me towards the stage. “Come with me.”_ _

__The idea was so absurd but so completely John that I couldn't help but laugh. “After. Go.”_ _

__John’s smile was so bright I felt almost dizzy. He kissed me, brief and heated, then boosted himself back onto the stage, grinning and waving and bowing again._ _

__When the lights went down again he whirled around and ran off stage, pushing open the fire exit door beside us just as the house lights were coming up. “Come here! Hurry!”_ _

__I glanced back at the audience, startled. “John, I can’t – “_ _

__John stepped out to grab my arm and pushed me through the door ahead of him, voice a low murmur in my ear. “There’s no checkpoints back here. Come with me.”_ _

__“We’ll take care of you,” Larry assured quietly, making sure the door was shut tight behind him. Then John pulled me down the hall and around a corner, into the chaotic revelry that was backstage._ _

__It may have well been one of Gatsby’s parties. The rest of the cast were still coming in from the stage, riding high on endorphins from the audience’s applause, some already pulling off costume pieces without even waiting for a dresser. Through an open set of double doors in what I assumed was the green room, the girl who’d played Buchanan was stripped down to her underwear, standing on a chair. She popped the cork on a bottle of champagne with a whoop, spraying it over everyone near her. “Happy opening night, bitches!”_ _

__“Red!” The blonde who’d played Daisy grinned widely as he turned to us, stepping past me to drape himself over Larry. “I haven’t seen you in ages, sexy. You here to help us celebrate?”_ _

__The obvious invitation in his words made me uneasy, but Larry laughed, returning the hug and extracting himself from his embrace. “Watch it, Eric. I’m a mated man now.”_ _

__“What? That’s a travesty! Well, if you’d ever like to share your lucky omega with me – “_ _

__“Alpha,” Larry corrected with a smirk._ _

__“Lar’s turned into a little slut for knot,” John declared, grinning, taking the bottle of champagne was shoved at him and drinking deep before pressing it into my hand. I took a pull from the bottle, the sparkling wine ice cold and overly sweet, coughing as I handed it to Larry._ _

__John wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me tight against him, and I arched into his kisses happily. He buried his face in my hair, voice soft. “I’m so glad you came, love. I missed you so much, you’ve made me so happy….”_ _

__“Is this your Daisy, John?”_ _

__I pulled back to find Caraway watching us with a bemused smile, feeling my cheeks heat. But John snorted immediately. “Daisy? Fickle, self-centered Daisy? Never. Daniel is the Achilles to my Patroclus, the Portia to my Ellen, the Oberon to my Puck – “_ _

__“To your Titania, you fairy Queen,” Eric corrected with a snort, heading towards the green room, the half-empty bottle of champagne hanging from his fingers._ _

__”Well, welcome to the chaos,” Caraway replied, winking before turning and following._ _

__John took step after him, then turned back to me. “Is this okay? We don’t have to stay long, I just – “_ _

__I reached up to take his face in my hands, kissing way his words and arching against him. “I want to stay here with you. This is amazing. I’ve never been legal to drink at a theater party.”_ _

__John laughed, eyes shining with delight. He lifted a hand stroked the side of my face. “Then may I introduce you as my boyfriend?”_ _

__I nodded, heart aching with happiness, and I had to clear my throat before I could speak. “I - I’d really like that.”_ _

__“Guys? I’m gonna head before I get groped by anyone else.” Larry gave us both a rueful smile. “Will you be okay, Daniel?”_ _

__I nodded, pressing closer to John. “I’m wonderful. Tell Ben not to worry. And… thank you. Both of you.”_ _

__Larry gave a wink in acknowledgment. “Just don’t get drunk and go out the wrong doors. John, you’re responsible.”_ _

__“I’ll take perfect care of Daniel,” John replied, his arm tightening possessively around my waist. If it had been anyone else I would’ve felt insulted by the insinuation that I’d ever need taking care of. But that was my pride, my weakness. It had been okay to let Ben help me. It would be okay to trust John to do the same._ _

__Pulled into the crush of the party, I found myself introduced to so many people that I almost couldn’t keep them all straight. I was a little nervous at first, being around so many undoubtedly single alphas, despite knowing that the treatment would keep my Omega nature undetectable. But it was hard not to think that they’d somehow know._ _

__The second time I tensed as one passed, John pulled me close to the wall, cupping my face with one hand, resting his forehead to mine. “You’re safe here. And I’d never let anything happen to you.”_ _

__“I know,” I replied, trying to reassure myself as much is him. “It’s just been years since I’ve been in… _mixed company_. I’m sorry. I’m trying to adjust.”_ _

__John pulled back just slightly, green eyes meeting mine seriously. “Daniel. You’re mine. I won’t let anyone else touch you.”_ _

__I drew a soft breath, the touch of possessiveness and dominance making me long for him in a way I’d never thought possible. “All right. Okay. I trust you.”_ _

__“Good.” John smiled, kissing me softly. “We can go whenever you like, just let me know. Let’s get drunk now.”_ _

__I drank with John from whatever bottle he pushed into my hand and the occasional hip flask until I was lightheaded and giddy from the carbonation. Through it all John kept his arm around my waist, strong and possessive, and whenever I looked up at him his smile was almost radiant with joy. It felt good, to bask in his bliss, in the praise of the cast and crew and director. I felt a slight wistfulness, briefly wondering what things would have been like if my life had been like this. But I’d accepted my calling years ago, and I felt only happiness that I could share the night with John._ _

__John quietly tugged me out of the green room as someone started calling for speeches, and I found myself being taken upstairs and into the darkness of the stage wings. Beyond the scrim that shielded the stage the house lights were still on in the auditorium, dimly lighting the stage furniture as John pulled me out onto the set._ _

__“I wish you’d been on stage with me,” he murmured, lips finding mine. “I’d give you that, if I could. Anything you wanted.”_ _

__I chuckled against his lips, stroking my fingers up into the gelled stiffness of his hair. “It’s all right. That life is far behind me.”_ _

__“Don’t say that.” John stepped back, plopping down on the end of one of the plush lounges and gesturing to the rest of the stage. “You’d be so beautiful here, and your voice…. Say something. Didn’t he say you were doing Hamlet?”_ _

__I laughed again, too giddy to feel regret. “What, ‘To Be or Not To Be’? That’s so cliché.”_ _

__“It is not! Come on, Daniel. Your adoring audience hangs on your every word.”_ _

__“My audience of one?” I tried to search back through my memories, then let my voice fill the space. “Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? Or, to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them. To die, to sleep… To sleep, perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub. For in that sleep of death what dreams may come….” I stopped, laughing as I shook my head. “I don’t remember anything else. I’m sorry.”_ _

__John gave a soft, happy hum, holding a hand out towards me and then pulling me down into his arms. “No, you’re perfect. God, I’ve missed you.”_ _

__I sighed against his lips, drinking in the sweetness of his kisses, pressing closer to him as I did. It had been far too long, and suddenly I wanted to reassure all of the week’s insecurities with his presence. But I forced myself to pull back. “John… What happened? When you didn’t contact me I started to think that offended you or done something wrong…”_ _

__John shook his head, looking suddenly embarrassed. “I, um. Saturday morning when we argued… Neal had already told me that I needed to be careful around you, and in hindsight I should’ve realized that he was your ex, but when you told me you didn’t want anything serious I thought….”_ _

__I remember the conversation with a shock. “Oh God, no! You just caught me off guard, and I didn’t want to talk about Neal or anything serious _then_ , and….”_ _

__“I know.” John took one of my hands in both of his. “The thing is, love… I’m kinda stupid sometimes.”_ _

__I shook my head. “You’re not, trust me. I have no patience for stupidity.”_ _

__He gave a soft laugh. “All right. But I am kind of an airhead sometimes, and you can’t deny that. I’m sorry I didn’t realize your ex was your ex I’m sorry I upset you and I’m so sorry I stopped calling. I convinced myself that I’d just be whatever you wanted, but you deserve to be treated like the most amazing person on the planet….”_ _

__“You do make me feel that way.” I stroked my hand over the back of his. “I’m sorry about Neal. We were involved for a while, but I’d convinced myself it wasn’t serious because... I couldn’t make myself fall in love with him. I really hurt him when I broke it off, and I - I guess I didn’t realize until afterwards that I really did care for him.”_ _

__John listened quietly, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. “Do you regret it?”_ _

__I shook my head immediately. “No, not at all. I mean, not breaking it off, just that I hurt him. Everything that I’ve done, everything I’ve experienced has brought me to you. And it’s still so different from what I thought it would be, it’s intense and frightening and beautiful and addictive all at once. But I want all of that with you. The thought that I’d lost you was so terrible, and I didn’t know what to do, and I - “_ _

__“Shhh,” John murmured, pulling me close, pressing soft kisses to my forehead and nose and cheeks, his words a whispered caress. “I’m here. I’ve been yours since the moment I saw you.”_ _

__I turned my face up to his, so overwhelmed by emotion and I couldn’t help but tremble as I kissed him. “I’m so in love with you, John…”_ _

__He gave a soft, happy moan, fingers tangling in my hair as he returned my kiss with more passion. “I love you more than anything, I wanna be with you always. I’ll move closer, I’ll commute back here, I – “_ _

__I claimed his lips again, far more interested in his kisses than worrying about the future. “We’ll figure something out. Let’s just make up for the week that we’ve missed.”_ _

__“Okay.” John pressed me back into the crook of the lounge, and I let myself indulge, urging him over top of me and drinking in his kisses. I was too drunk to feel self-conscious and too happy to think about anything other than the moment - John’s increasingly hungry kisses and the feel of his body over mine._ _

__John’s hand smoothed down over my ass, lips moving to nuzzle my ear. “So, I’m thinking… I think we either stay hidden up here and I try and suck your brains out through your cock, or… we go back to the party long enough for me to steal another bottle of champagne, change and grab your bag, then go home and make love.”_ _

__“I’m not quite drunk enough to have sex on stage, and I’d be afraid of messing up your costume.” I arched up to kiss him again, my fingers stroking another curl free from his hair. “I want to go home with you.”_ _

__We could hear muffled giggles when we arrived home, and John a fond glanced towards his sister’s door. “We should harass them later.”_ _

__“Later,” I agreed, taking the champagne from him and putting it in the chiller before pulling him back toward his room. “I need you naked and inside me as soon as possible.”_ _

__John gave a sharp hiss against my mouth, fingers already working at the buttons of my vest even as his door closed behind us. “Oh God yes. I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you in the theater, you’re so fucking sexy tonight, Daniel…”_ _

__“Just tonight?” I teased, pulling his shirt off over his head._ _

__“Always,” he stressed, kisses moving down my throat. “But something about the suits… God, it just makes me want to rip all your clothes off and debauch you.”_ _

__“Oh God, John…” I whimpered as he pressed me back against his desk, kissing down my chest to suck on my nipple, one hand stroking me through my slacks. “Debauch me as much as you want…”_ _

__He groaned, dropping to his knees and nuzzling my erection through the silk suiting of my slacks, palms rubbing my thighs and hips. I could feel the heat of his breath through the fabric as he mouthed at me, moaning, stimulation making me wildly aroused. “Oh God, John, please…”_ _

__“Fuck yes…” He pulled open in the fly my slacks without even undoing my belt, his mouth on my cock as soon as he’d freed it. I drew a sharp hiss, fingers tangling in his hair instinctively, clenching tight. It made John almost wild, groaning out around my erection as he sucked me hungrily, the head of my cock hitting the back of his throat._ _

__I tugged a little harder, experimentally, rocking into his mouth and moaning at his helpless, wanton cry. “You like that, John? You like having your pretty curls pulled while you’re giving head?”_ _

__John pulled back from my cock, gasping for breath, my skin slick with his saliva. “Oh God darling. Yes. Keep saying those things and I’ll do whatever the fuck you want for the rest of ever.”_ _

__I groaned as his lips slid down my shaft again, my fingers clenching tight in his hair as I pushed into his mouth. His request made me feel even more aroused, and it was easy to do what he wanted. “Is that your secret weakness, dirty talk? You want to hear about what a dirty little slut you look like down on your knees with my cock in your mouth?”_ _

__John almost gagged in his enthusiasm, crying out as he swallowed around me desperately in his hands clenching at my ass. I bit my lip at the tight heat of his throat, gasping. “Oh fuck, that’s it… swallow me down, my beautiful little slut… so hungry to gag on my cock you couldn’t even wait to get me naked….”_ _

__John whimpered in agreement as he pulled back, tongue briefly working at the head of my cock before he swallowed me down again. I tried to keep my breath even enough to speak, my body crying out for the release that he promised. “That’s why you want to blow me on stage, isn’t it? You’re just a little slut for cock, and I… fuck, John, feels so fucking good… Just wanna fuck your mouth and come down your throat….”_ _

__He cried out, throaty and desperate, tugging on my hips to encourage me to thrust as he reached down to yank his own pants undone. I bit my lip on a cry, hips jerking up into his throat, fingers so tight in his hair it must’ve been painful. “Oh God yes, take it, gonna make me come so fucking hard… God!” I cried out as my pleasure crested, John’s fingers digging painfully into my hip as he choked and swallowed around me, hungrily taking every bit of my release and continuing to suck at me until I had to pull from his lips with a whimper. “Are you all right?”_ _

__“I’m so fucking close right now,” he gasped, pressing his face to my thigh. “Fuck, Daniel….”_ _

__I dropped to straddle one of his thighs, pushing his hand away to curl my own around the hard girth of his cock. I kissed him almost savagely, tongue probing his mouth deeply to taste myself, feeling him shudder and buck up against me._ _

__“Your suit,” he gasped desperately, and I chuckled, stroking him more firmly._ _

__“Wouldn’t be the first time,” I breathed, and nipped at his bottom lip. “Come on, love. You know you want to come all over me, you know you want to mark me as yours - “_ _

__“Fuck, Daniel!” John cried out against my mouth, harsh and overwhelmed, his whole body shuddering as he came apart. I felt him come in my fingers, slick and hot, and I stroked I stroked his seed down the length of his cock, milking each spurt from him. Finally John pulled back, half laughing as he gasped for breath, his head falling weakly against my shoulder. “Oh fuck. Oh my God…”_ _

__I chuckled softly as well, stroking the fingers of my clean hand through his sweat damp curls, messing them up more. “Good?”_ _

__“Fuck.” John laughed again, kissing my jaw. “Oh my fucking God yes, I didn’t think you were dirty. That was so good, darling…”_ _

__“You didn’t think that I was dirty?” I nuzzled his jaw, nipping at his earlobe. “After the way that I fucked you last weekend?”_ _

__John drew back to look at me, worrying at his bottom lip, green eyes wide. “Will you… I mean, if you want to… fuck me sometimes? I loved feeling you inside me …”_ _

__I smiled, stealing a slow kiss from his mouth. “And I liked watching you come undone on my cock,” I murmured, feeling a soft surge of arousal just thinking about it and grinding against his thigh. “I’ll fuck you whenever you want, love. Just… maybe not right this instant? I still really wanna ride you…”_ _

__John groaned, stroking his hands up over my thighs and kneading my ass. “I might need a little bit. I can’t entice you right now.”_ _

__“I don’t need it.” I kissed him deeper, sucking at his bottom lip and feeling and arch closer to me. “And you can still entice yourself, remember?”_ _

__John gave interested noise into my mouth, and in moments was kissing me as if his life depended on it. “Oh fuck yes. Bed. Now.”_ _

__I managed to shed my suit this time before I found myself pushed back under him on his bed, John’s lips devouring my neck, biting brief nips of pleasure into my skin. I pushed him onto his back, hands braced on his shoulders as I ground the length of his reawakened cock against my sex. “Oh God, John, the things you do to me…”_ _

__“I’ll do all the things,” he murmured distractedly, bracing his feet against the bed to push up against me. “Come on, darling, want to watch you fuck yourself on me…”_ _

__I groaned breathlessly, wrapping my fingers around the base of his cock and sinking down onto him. “Oh God, feels so good…”_ _

__John groaned as he rocked up into me. “Fuck yes… Haven’t been able to stop thinking about fucking you, make me so hard, Daniel…”_ _

__I leaned down to kiss him, rocking down onto him harder and crying out at the pulse of pleasure it brought. “Oh fuck yes, so hot for your cock…”_ _

__John’s hands smoothed over my skin, caressing my back and shoulders, cupping my ass and pulling me into his thrusts. “So fucking beautiful, darling,” he breathed between kisses. “So perfect, love you so much…”_ _

__The sweetness of his words made me feel a rush of emotion, and I whimpered against his lips. “Oh God, say that again….”_ _

__“I love you madly, completely, eternally…” John paired his words with soft kisses, stroking his fingers through my hair at my soft whimpers, his gentleness and adoration suddenly completely overwhelming._ _

__“Shh, darling…” John shifted to press me onto my back, pulling my knees up against his sides so he could take me again deeply, covering my face with soft kisses as he rocked in me._ _

__“I don’t ever want to be apart from you,” I gasped, and John gave a soft moan, kissing me, rocking up into me harder._ _

__“My sweet little mate,” he murmured, voice throaty with emotion in a sudden possessiveness that somehow stoked the pleasure of our union. “My Daniel, God, all mine….”_ _

__My fingers clenched at his back, arching up against him, crying out as pleasure rushed through me each time our bodies came together. “Always,” I managed to gasp, lips finding his breathlessly. “Oh God, John, please – “_ _

__“Shh, darling, I’ll take care of you, always take care of my little mate…” He pushed a hand between us to curl around my cock, stealing my cries with kisses as his hips snapped into me. But strangely it was the thought of being taken care of that did it for me more than anything else, and in moments I was coming hard, clenching around his cock as I came apart._ _

__“Oh God, Daniel…” John’s hips stuttered into me, grinding deep, crying out his pleasure as he lost himself inside me, each thrust of his hips extending my own pleasure as I felt him fill me with heat. He continued to kiss me breathlessly, slowing, finally pulling away and sliding down to lick a streak of come off my chest, then licking up the length of my shaft, licking over my sex until I whimpered from the overstimulation and pulled him back up against me._ _

__“Enough. Enough, oh John, God….”_ _

__He stretched out on his side, pulling me into his arms and wrapping one thigh over me possessively as he kissed me. “Mine.”_ _

__I laughed softly, melting into his embrace and stroking a hand down to clench his ass playfully. “Mine.”_ _

__John grinned against my mouth, pulling back just enough to look at me, green eyes mischievous. “All of me, or just my hot ass?”_ _

__“You tell me.” I stroked back up his side, stroking a straight curl off his forehead. “What do _you_ want, John?”_ _

__“You,” he replied without hesitation. “I don’t want to spend another night without you. I meant it when I said I’d commute. Whatever it takes. Just…” He stopped for a moment._ _

__“Just…?”_ _

__John glanced away and wet his lips. “Just tell me you’ll be straightforward with me? I told you, I’m kind of an airhead, and I know I’m too dramatic and I get lost in all these ideas, but… If you promise you’ll always tell me what you want and what you need from me than I promise I’ll trust that and then we won’t have any more misunderstandings, right?”_ _

__I nodded, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat. “I’ll do my best, love. I… I’ve felt like I had to take care of myself for so long. It’s a little frightening to admit, but I… I need you. I want to be yours and you to be mine and I want to take care of each other and see you every morning when I wake up. And I don't know how good at this I’ll be because I haven’t really done this before, but I’ll do my best to be straightforward with you if you’ll do the same.”_ _

__John smiled, kissing me gently. “Sounds perfect. And I’ll finish that damn study and if you’re not sick of me by then we can register and I’ll take you anywhere in the world you want to go.”_ _

__The thought was freeing, exhilarating. I returned his kiss warmly, arching closer. “How do you feel about Metro-Hartford?”_ _

__John gave a soft, interested hum. “One stop on the high velocity between you and me?”_ _

__“Or maybe home?” I suggested, a little nervous. “I took a look at average commute times for both of us and it’s not completely unreasonable….”_ _

__“You did?” John’s smile was completely delighted, and he pushed me onto my back, wriggling closer to me and moaning happily into my mouth as he kissed me. “Yes. Yes, darling, let’s do it. Champagne? Let’s celebrate. Let’s go see if the girls are done fucking and make them celebrate with us.”_ _

__“Cleanup first?” I suggested, laughing. “Clothes might be good, too.”_ _

__“I can deal with clothes,” he agreed, kissing me again. “And tomorrow we’ll take Lar and your brother to lunch before my matinee.”_ _

__I thought back to what Ben had said to me and felt a rush of warmth. It was still a little frightening, allowing myself to be so open and vulnerable. But the love that I could feel returned to me was more than proof that it was worth it._ _

__“I’d like that very much,” I said, and reached up to kiss my mate again._ _

__~~~ Finish ~~~_ _


End file.
